MKB Dilemma
I don't feel like going to the Sunday service because the message are not challenging. And I feel very alone after sermon because it's often hard to find someone to eat lunch with. I don't feel like commuting for far just for a mediocre sermon. The main pastor there has lost his credibility from me. I realized that he was a lot about advancing his career and influence in the church more than helping the people in his small group grow. It doesn't seem to bother him that so many people have left in our small group in which he is the official small group leader.
He just doesn't really love them. I realized that he is arranging small group and fellowship in a way to select a bunch of us to be his followers. He is not taking the time to care for small group members.
He has an agenda and we are like chess pieces. I really don't like that.
I also has been hard to build community. There is a lack of mature Christians. I just find it to be a mess and I am not in any position to change it. The worrying thing is that the pastor seems to think all this is an organization problem, he didn't take any responsibility himself. He often blame it on the structure and organization of small group. And I realized that it is really just a power game.
People who are in position to serve are the upper class. People are established and have important roles are like the most influential ones and it doesn't matter if they make mistakes, don't show up or whatever. As long as you have that popularity and even a following, you are untouchable. Once you are deemed as important, in a solid position, have buddies than you are blameless.
The funny thing is that I am a veteran compared to most of my peers at church. I kind of see what's going on already and I have high-demand for church and fellowship. I expect that if I am going to spend so much time and energy in a small group, in a fellowship, in a church, it better be good or I am wasting my time.
If people don't want to fellowship together, then don't, don't waste my time pretending to. And I really get sick of all the pretentious people.
I think something is seriously wrong with the young adult small group/fellowship. It's very scattered, I know part of it is the old structure where people of the same age group are scattered in different groups.
It also doesn't go very deep. I haven't been motivated to go to small group because I realized that some people just don't want to bond or they are stopped or afraid of something. I feel like I have been wasting my energy and time trying to gel people together when the management (pastor) already has something else in mind with I have no power over.
I hardly received support when I tried to get some event going from him unlike my other small group leaders who really cared for us, became our mentors, loved us, not just part of some plan. It's really about that pure heart.
He just doesn't really love them. I realized that he is arranging small group and fellowship in a way to select a bunch of us to be his followers. He is not taking the time to care for small group members.
He has an agenda and we are like chess pieces. I really don't like that.
I also has been hard to build community. There is a lack of mature Christians. I just find it to be a mess and I am not in any position to change it. The worrying thing is that the pastor seems to think all this is an organization problem, he didn't take any responsibility himself. He often blame it on the structure and organization of small group. And I realized that it is really just a power game.
People who are in position to serve are the upper class. People are established and have important roles are like the most influential ones and it doesn't matter if they make mistakes, don't show up or whatever. As long as you have that popularity and even a following, you are untouchable. Once you are deemed as important, in a solid position, have buddies than you are blameless.
The funny thing is that I am a veteran compared to most of my peers at church. I kind of see what's going on already and I have high-demand for church and fellowship. I expect that if I am going to spend so much time and energy in a small group, in a fellowship, in a church, it better be good or I am wasting my time.
If people don't want to fellowship together, then don't, don't waste my time pretending to. And I really get sick of all the pretentious people.
I think something is seriously wrong with the young adult small group/fellowship. It's very scattered, I know part of it is the old structure where people of the same age group are scattered in different groups.
It also doesn't go very deep. I haven't been motivated to go to small group because I realized that some people just don't want to bond or they are stopped or afraid of something. I feel like I have been wasting my energy and time trying to gel people together when the management (pastor) already has something else in mind with I have no power over.
I hardly received support when I tried to get some event going from him unlike my other small group leaders who really cared for us, became our mentors, loved us, not just part of some plan. It's really about that pure heart.