(no subject)
graduation was yesturday, and i just woke up after a long day of sleeping (*due to a long night of project graduation*) i thought i would cry more. or rather, i thought i would show my emotions more. well, i thought i did pretty good, until i had to say goodbye to a couple teachers. (soehren, taylor, lundgren, chutchian ...)
i was thrilled that my family came up, though it wasn't what i thought it would be. we went to the resturant which was wonderful, and i enjoyed my uncle being here. but i've realized .... people honestly thought that i wouldn't be where i am today, they're surprised i am the person i am, and i've always known i'd make it. this leads me to say that, i'm pretty much the only one that believes in myself ... that's a really weird realization to make after an emotional event such as graduation. well .. for the next couple months, i'm in it alone i guess.
project graduation was amazing. the football airfloat was awesome, i think i went on that eleven times. the obstacle course kicked my butt, i wont lie about that one, and the jumping float was awesome. i was completely inlove with the hypnotist (not with him, but the overall show) and i thought the graduates looked halarious (loved it!). there was tons of food, and the pool was mighty fine also (who ever thought alex and i would meet up and start swimming laps .. ?) so yes, project grad was good. danni and i felt bad ... we called our ex boyfriends from the past ... when they were at their project grad partys many a times ... interrupting their fun. sorri boys =)
it's going to be hard to let go of this. but amazingly, i'm having an easier time then i thought i would. i didn't know that people didn't expect anything out of me. nor did i know that they really .. actually wont miss me. i wasn't aware that the only qualities i have, that people think are worth mentioning are my abilities to stand up for my opinion .. which they think are usually wrong, or that i think i'm the best, or that i get what i want because i don't do much. well i'm sorry for you. i'm sorry if that's the ashley you think you know, or you think you knew. and most of this, i guess, would be directed towards my family.
i will be leaving, and though i'd like to say i wont look back, i probably will. but what was said through out this year, by everybody, will stick and my head. they're things that can't be erased. the idea that i'm too self centered to be a therapist ... or that i don't try so the workload will be too hard and i'll fail out, or the thought that i'll party too hard and become a loser like my sister. don't think i forgot these comments, for they were said millions of times and stuck. i couldn't hate you, but you're nothing worth coming home for ...
so i am glag to say i've found my ticket out. i'm taking it, and there's nothing here to keep me. and as augustana said ...
you don't know me,
and you don't even care oh yeah,
well you said,
you don't know me,
and you don't wear my chains oh yeah.
she said i think i'll go to Boston.
i think i'll start a new life.
i think i'll start it over,
where no one knows my name.
thank you james. it came to me the other night, and i could finally understand what i was too you. how you saw me. i wont say as nothing, cause it was more than that, but it wasn't as a girlfriend, and i'm fine with that. i was stable, and i was comfort, and i could keep something good for a while. you could rely on me to not change, and in the end i could help you cope .. without knowing it. but i think i did change, and i think you moved on from the saddness, let go of high school .. and you didn't need me. because i wasn't a girlfriend, but thought you saw me as one, i didn't understand. but i do now. and it's nice to get it, finally. i think i'll be good, so i don't think i'll need to lean on you, but if i ever need someone i'll give u a call ..
it's been fun class of 2006,
good luck with everything
<3 ashley lynn
i was thrilled that my family came up, though it wasn't what i thought it would be. we went to the resturant which was wonderful, and i enjoyed my uncle being here. but i've realized .... people honestly thought that i wouldn't be where i am today, they're surprised i am the person i am, and i've always known i'd make it. this leads me to say that, i'm pretty much the only one that believes in myself ... that's a really weird realization to make after an emotional event such as graduation. well .. for the next couple months, i'm in it alone i guess.
project graduation was amazing. the football airfloat was awesome, i think i went on that eleven times. the obstacle course kicked my butt, i wont lie about that one, and the jumping float was awesome. i was completely inlove with the hypnotist (not with him, but the overall show) and i thought the graduates looked halarious (loved it!). there was tons of food, and the pool was mighty fine also (who ever thought alex and i would meet up and start swimming laps .. ?) so yes, project grad was good. danni and i felt bad ... we called our ex boyfriends from the past ... when they were at their project grad partys many a times ... interrupting their fun. sorri boys =)
it's going to be hard to let go of this. but amazingly, i'm having an easier time then i thought i would. i didn't know that people didn't expect anything out of me. nor did i know that they really .. actually wont miss me. i wasn't aware that the only qualities i have, that people think are worth mentioning are my abilities to stand up for my opinion .. which they think are usually wrong, or that i think i'm the best, or that i get what i want because i don't do much. well i'm sorry for you. i'm sorry if that's the ashley you think you know, or you think you knew. and most of this, i guess, would be directed towards my family.
i will be leaving, and though i'd like to say i wont look back, i probably will. but what was said through out this year, by everybody, will stick and my head. they're things that can't be erased. the idea that i'm too self centered to be a therapist ... or that i don't try so the workload will be too hard and i'll fail out, or the thought that i'll party too hard and become a loser like my sister. don't think i forgot these comments, for they were said millions of times and stuck. i couldn't hate you, but you're nothing worth coming home for ...
so i am glag to say i've found my ticket out. i'm taking it, and there's nothing here to keep me. and as augustana said ...
you don't know me,
and you don't even care oh yeah,
well you said,
you don't know me,
and you don't wear my chains oh yeah.
she said i think i'll go to Boston.
i think i'll start a new life.
i think i'll start it over,
where no one knows my name.
thank you james. it came to me the other night, and i could finally understand what i was too you. how you saw me. i wont say as nothing, cause it was more than that, but it wasn't as a girlfriend, and i'm fine with that. i was stable, and i was comfort, and i could keep something good for a while. you could rely on me to not change, and in the end i could help you cope .. without knowing it. but i think i did change, and i think you moved on from the saddness, let go of high school .. and you didn't need me. because i wasn't a girlfriend, but thought you saw me as one, i didn't understand. but i do now. and it's nice to get it, finally. i think i'll be good, so i don't think i'll need to lean on you, but if i ever need someone i'll give u a call ..
it's been fun class of 2006,
good luck with everything
<3 ashley lynn