Home and other things.
I finally figured out how to be happy.
It's pretty simple really. I just have to make sure I can keep doing it. I am also going home for spring break today. Which is kind of awesome.
I've been going through a lot of things that a lot of my friends don't know about. Which makes me kind of feel like an ass. But I have my reasons. Being in love is so ridiculously painful when you know that the other person is never going to love you back the same way you love them. But if you don't stress about it, loving someone with every single little molecule of who you are... can never ever be the wrong thing to do.
So I've decided, in what I hope is a truly happy state of mind, that I'm just going to dance in the unrequited love that I used to let myself drown in. Because let's face it, crying whenever he gets online, isn't doing anyone any good. And not wanting to be in love anymore is entirely out of the question, Now that I can see how perfect something like that is, how one of the only bits of me that's beautiful is that after my past I can still love someone so completely, I would never ever want to stop. I'm not going to say that I never want him to know, or possibly feel the same way. For now, I'm good knowing that my friends love me and that I'm still capable of loving someone even (Or perhaps especially) considering their faults and flaws.
On the other hand I'm just looking forward to some downtime to bask in the presence of my kitties. I have to write papers over spring break, but the sleep schedule might be more healthy when i don't have to get up at ridiculous hours to do the homework I neglected to do for a morning class. It's a very simple premise, don't sign up for classes that are at the same time every morning. It's almost like high school again.
It's pretty simple really. I just have to make sure I can keep doing it. I am also going home for spring break today. Which is kind of awesome.
I've been going through a lot of things that a lot of my friends don't know about. Which makes me kind of feel like an ass. But I have my reasons. Being in love is so ridiculously painful when you know that the other person is never going to love you back the same way you love them. But if you don't stress about it, loving someone with every single little molecule of who you are... can never ever be the wrong thing to do.
So I've decided, in what I hope is a truly happy state of mind, that I'm just going to dance in the unrequited love that I used to let myself drown in. Because let's face it, crying whenever he gets online, isn't doing anyone any good. And not wanting to be in love anymore is entirely out of the question, Now that I can see how perfect something like that is, how one of the only bits of me that's beautiful is that after my past I can still love someone so completely, I would never ever want to stop. I'm not going to say that I never want him to know, or possibly feel the same way. For now, I'm good knowing that my friends love me and that I'm still capable of loving someone even (Or perhaps especially) considering their faults and flaws.
On the other hand I'm just looking forward to some downtime to bask in the presence of my kitties. I have to write papers over spring break, but the sleep schedule might be more healthy when i don't have to get up at ridiculous hours to do the homework I neglected to do for a morning class. It's a very simple premise, don't sign up for classes that are at the same time every morning. It's almost like high school again.