i wish it was all a dream.
I'm still not handling this whole "death" thing to well... Nick died days ago and I still cry. I never thought life could change so quickly. I can't sleep at night.. I wake up sweating and having crazy ass dreams...I find myself staring at a poem I have from him. I crack a smile and then I burst into tears. I listen to our song from back in the day when me n him were the closest any 2 people could of ever been without being face to face. I was fine yesterday eating but the more I think about it the more upset I get and I just lose my appetite. I still don't believe it when I talk about him being gone... I'm just not ready to face it... I don't want Friday to come. I don't wanna tell him goodbye for the final time.I can't face him. I never thought I would have to do this so soon. I'm unprepared, I'm scared and most of all I'm guilty for not ever telling him he meant the world to me... telling him how much I cherished him being there for me when I really needed someone to fall back on.. also for him putting up with my bullshit for 2 years. I'm so lost... I need help. I need someone to tell me it's ok to not be strong all the time. Because in this situation I feel so weak and hopeless it's unbearable. I went shopping for clothes today for the funeral on Friday... I'm dreading when 1 in the afternoon rolls around and I'm there at the funeral home in black.
I wish you woulda never left us. I thank god though for you not suffering. I hope your always looking down on me showing me the right way in life. You always have a place in my heart that nobody will replace. I will cherish every letter you wrote to me, every picture, every poem. I will never forget you.
I wish you woulda never left us. I thank god though for you not suffering. I hope your always looking down on me showing me the right way in life. You always have a place in my heart that nobody will replace. I will cherish every letter you wrote to me, every picture, every poem. I will never forget you.