I HAVE MY COMPUTER BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wow so i was extremely lucky the other day when i went to the neighbors' house to babysit... the dad had 3 extra monitors that he was looking to give away! for free! so yea i took one home and YAY I HAVE A COMPUTER AGAIN!!!!!!!!
ok well to update on recent events:
-last weekend i took the SAT. i think i did pretty well on it, but i'm not exactly sure HOW well... i know my hard work really paid off though because i focused during the entire test without getting tired and i knew most of the answers. i omitted a few and was doubtful on a couple, but overall i think i did pretty well.
-these past few weeks have been exhausting because i've been working a lot more, but it motivates me. i'm sort of becoming a work-a-holic and it's not so bad.
-my parents are selling the house. they put a contract down on a house in indian river plantation. it's a beautiful home with a pool and a hot tub and right on the water. it's a little smaller than the one we have now, but not by much. same amount of bedrooms, one more bathroom, one less leisure room downstairs. bigger yard... nicer neighborhood. at first i was really upset... i called paul and was crying and everything. it's ironic that he tells me that he's moving to my neighborhood, and then my parents tell me a week later that they want to move out. they don't like the way lotus creek turned out, and i agree. it just kinda sucks. but i mean, at least if we move i'll still be only 8 minutes or so from him instead of 45 like it is now. i gotta be optimistic.
-last night was the junior ring dance!! it was a blast. my parents were holding an open house yesterday so i went over to brianna tremble's house to get ready. it was fun... we talked about crap and i did my hair and stuff. then i came home after the open house and got ready and paul picked me up at 5:30 and we met brianna and her bf, chris, at waterman's for dinner. i was relieved that we all got along because paul had never met brianna or chris and chris had never met me or paul... but things went very well. found that we all have a lot in common. after dinner we went to the dance and the first people i saw were ashley and nicole!! mah girls!! nicole looked hott. and then i saw a bunch of people and everyone looked amazing... it's so much fun to see all your friends dressed up formally. then paul and i danced and danced and danced... and i was really happy that he COULD dance because his leg is about 100 times better now since his surgery. after the dance, brianna and chris and paul and i went cosmic bowling at the oceana bowling lanes and that was pretty fun except poor brianna was exhausted. she looked gorgeous that night though. everyone did. and paul looked especially handsome. chris is a cutie. but yea i bowled 2nd... chris won and paul followed me and brianna lost lol. i had a curfew of 12:30 though so we left when the lanes closed at 12 and paul took me home. an absolutely amazing night. i don't think i took enough pictures though.
-and last but in no way least, I HAVE THE BEST BOYFRIEND IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!!! last week he updated his journal and expressed his feelings for me... it was the most beautiful thing i ever read in my life. it made me cry... it was so emotional. so now i want to write something to him to show him how much i really care for him, although i'm not too good with words.
paul douglass ferro... from the very first day that i met you, my feelings for you have increased tremendously. i admit, when i saw you the first thing i noticed was how absolutely hott you are. then, as i got to know you and realized what an interesting person you are, i couldn't help but wonder about your feelings for me. i had a crush on you... and i wanted to know that you felt the same way. well you kept calling, so i figured there must have been something about me that you liked... and the more dates we went on, the more i got to know about you and the more i liked you. it was beginning to look like you were a guy i could really see myself with. everything you like intrigued me... and for the first time in a while i wanted to really learn about another human being, unselfishly. we kissed a few times, but it didn't get emotional for me until the 3rd time we kissed. i really liked you... i liked your personality and your sense of humor and the way you always acted like a gentleman and treated me like a princess. i remember the first time we held hands... at the hunt club on halloween night. i remember being unsure of your feelings still, but hoping that you felt the same way as i did. you called me more and more and the more we talked, the longer we talked, the deeper my feelings got. i learned about all your passions, and i met and liked your friends, and i thought you were the sweetest guy on the planet. november 28th was the day we called our relationship official, but it seems like it's been years that i've been with you because i know you so well now. the months flew by after that, and we are coming up on number 4. time always flies by when i'm with you. every emotion i've felt in the past seems so miniscule to the ones i have now for you. you are seriously the perfect person for me... everything you do amazes me... i'm infatuated with the way that you are. for a while i thought what i felt for you was an infatuation... but a month ago or so i realized that it was really love... and i had never felt love before. i thought i had, but i never really knew how breathtaking it could be. i thought love was overrated. i dont care about ratings anymore... nothing is better than the way i feel for you. you can keep me forever, you know that. my heart belongs to you. you've turned from a guy i can see myself with to the guy i can't see myself without.
last night, ring dance with you was amazing. every time we dance it reminds me of the first time we danced at peabody's... can you believe that was 7 months ago? i want to make a pledge to you right now. i will always be loyal to you, as long as we are together. there isn't another guy in this world that i would give you up for... and i know one day you will have to go away but i will be waiting for you when you come home. you are the man of my dreams and i want you to be happy in life... i want the best for you and your future. you know i love you so much, and i know you love me too. therefore, i want to be there for you through everything and i promise to love you through it all. ♥
the answer is: i can't stand here with you and not be moved by you... and no feeling in the world is better than this.