blah
well, today was my dad's b-day so i guess i was kinda shitty today..... i'm in an "i hate the world cuz i'm still in it" mood.... i miss my dad... he was there n didn't have to b.... dat was the most awesome thing bout it..... i have a father and then a dad.... my dad was way better than my father.... my father doesn't exist as far as i'm concerned.... i mean damn, my father didn't even own up to me... my brother asked him if he had n e other kids n he told him no knowing i existed.... i mean come the fuck on! i think he named me.... so i know for damn sure i existed.... fucker..... i mean jesus i went over his house when he was like 3 so his mom knew different.... bastard... yea i'm in a great mood.... good thing i'm not writing him a letter right now.... it could get messy.... every time i go to write him i have major bi-polar in it.... i miss you..... i hate you.... i miss you.... i hate you..... yea... messy..... well, kris n i r gonna go talk.... maybe watch a movie... try n keep my mind off shit.... i dunt wanna get n e more depressed n wanna cut.... dat always ends up as my last resort and i dunt wanna go there. i've overcome it pretty well lately.... few slip ups here n there but the past couple years i've been pretty good....