sad
i just realized something today...something that i really didnt feel like realizing...and its horrible. i hate it. im not going to say it on here, which makes this entry basically pointless, but like...still. ugh. ive figured out why the person does the things they do, why the person says the things they say...act the way they do...and its making me feel horrible. like ive been (being) used...but i dont want to fix it. im just going to see how things work out. and maybe by knowing this i wont be hit so hard by the inevitable...maybe.