You don't have to read this, I just need to write it...
~*In Loving Memory of Maria Freitas*~
July 13, 1952- March 15, 2005
I never thought I would have to say goodbye to someone I loved so much. I sat there and cried for hours. She wasn't the same person I had known all my life. She just laid there lifeless, her body was cold. I wanted so much for it all just to be a dream, for her to wake up and just say "I'm OK." But she didn't. I don't believe she's gone, she just can't be. As I kissed her goodbye, it finally hit me: I'm never going to see her again. I'm never going to hear her crazy laugh or watch her dance her little heart out to her Mariache band music and hear her yell at me for changing the station.. I'll never walk into my house after a long day of work and see her in the kitchen helping my mom cook dinner.
I slept in her room, or I tried to at least. It just wasn't the same. I kept hoping that she'd just walk in and ask me to move over. But she didn't.
I was the last one to leave the cemetary. They all sat there looking at me wondering why I had taken this harder than everyone else. But they don't understand. She was the only one who ever believed in me. The only one who told me I was gonna go far in life. The only one that told me I could do whatever I wanted to do. I didn't want to leave. I wasn't done yet. I had to tell her I loved her one last time. I put a rose on her casket and kissed it goodbye. If it hadn't been for my family I don't think I could have walked away on my own.. I felt so weak. And the worst part of it all is that I don't think she knew how much I loved her for just being her. How much I loved her for knowing just what to say and when to say it. And how much I'm going to miss her. How much I wish she wasn't gone, how horrible I feel for not being able to go see her in the hospital because I had to work, and how I would give anything just to bring her back for a minute so I could tell her that.
I've come to the realization that work isn't that important anymore. They told me that My days off wuldn't count for funeral pay because she wasn't "immediate family" Who the hell are you to tell me that I can't take 2 days off to go to my ONLY Aunt's funeral? I don't even care about the money. I'd give it all away just to bring her back.
I hope she'll watch over me and keep me safe.
She's my angel up in heaven.
Tia, If you're listening, or if you can see this wherever you are, I hope you know that I love you more than I could ever tell you. I miss you already. I'll see you again some day.
I never thought I would have to say goodbye to someone I loved so much. I sat there and cried for hours. She wasn't the same person I had known all my life. She just laid there lifeless, her body was cold. I wanted so much for it all just to be a dream, for her to wake up and just say "I'm OK." But she didn't. I don't believe she's gone, she just can't be. As I kissed her goodbye, it finally hit me: I'm never going to see her again. I'm never going to hear her crazy laugh or watch her dance her little heart out to her Mariache band music and hear her yell at me for changing the station.. I'll never walk into my house after a long day of work and see her in the kitchen helping my mom cook dinner.
I slept in her room, or I tried to at least. It just wasn't the same. I kept hoping that she'd just walk in and ask me to move over. But she didn't.
I was the last one to leave the cemetary. They all sat there looking at me wondering why I had taken this harder than everyone else. But they don't understand. She was the only one who ever believed in me. The only one who told me I was gonna go far in life. The only one that told me I could do whatever I wanted to do. I didn't want to leave. I wasn't done yet. I had to tell her I loved her one last time. I put a rose on her casket and kissed it goodbye. If it hadn't been for my family I don't think I could have walked away on my own.. I felt so weak. And the worst part of it all is that I don't think she knew how much I loved her for just being her. How much I loved her for knowing just what to say and when to say it. And how much I'm going to miss her. How much I wish she wasn't gone, how horrible I feel for not being able to go see her in the hospital because I had to work, and how I would give anything just to bring her back for a minute so I could tell her that.
I've come to the realization that work isn't that important anymore. They told me that My days off wuldn't count for funeral pay because she wasn't "immediate family" Who the hell are you to tell me that I can't take 2 days off to go to my ONLY Aunt's funeral? I don't even care about the money. I'd give it all away just to bring her back.
I hope she'll watch over me and keep me safe.
She's my angel up in heaven.
Tia, If you're listening, or if you can see this wherever you are, I hope you know that I love you more than I could ever tell you. I miss you already. I'll see you again some day.