Long Post- don't read if you don't want to
I don't know, even though I hurt so bad today, it seems as if everything is coming around. I felt this numbness in my chest, and it was hard to breathe, but so many problems were let out, and I realized how many issues I have to work on myself. It seems as though my self doubt is reflected on other people. I panic, with no where to turn, so I lash out. My sorrow, and worthlessness brings down other people, and I do it subconsciencesly. I don't realize how many people I hurt with the comments I make, but I do it far too often.
I realized that the things I say reflect solely upon how I percieve myself. I percieve myself as this girl that tries, and tries so hard to let people know the real her, when in reality I don't need to. I have to be content with myself before I can go letting other people into the world of Lindsey.
Jelousy is huge with me. I breathe jelousy, it's written all over me. The funny thing is not in the sense of I get jelous of things easily, more as I get jelous of people. I get jelous when I feel that they have something, that I want to achieve so badly, such as self contentment. I don't get in my jelous mode over guys, or issues as that, more as if my friends, and who's closer with who.
Once again, it all boils down to my insecurities. Right now, insecurness, is the root of all evil to me.
Best thing is, I am aware of all this, I need to fix it, and I shall do so.
the end.
I realized that the things I say reflect solely upon how I percieve myself. I percieve myself as this girl that tries, and tries so hard to let people know the real her, when in reality I don't need to. I have to be content with myself before I can go letting other people into the world of Lindsey.
Jelousy is huge with me. I breathe jelousy, it's written all over me. The funny thing is not in the sense of I get jelous of things easily, more as I get jelous of people. I get jelous when I feel that they have something, that I want to achieve so badly, such as self contentment. I don't get in my jelous mode over guys, or issues as that, more as if my friends, and who's closer with who.
Once again, it all boils down to my insecurities. Right now, insecurness, is the root of all evil to me.
Best thing is, I am aware of all this, I need to fix it, and I shall do so.
the end.