I won't let you fall apart
I feel like I'm so nice to people.. I try so hard to not hurt anyone's feelings, I try to be polite... and maybe I'm being selfish or just don't see it right under my nose, but I feel like I don't get anything in return. I'm stupid. I just hate instances when you can't talk to anybody how you feel because no one's available. I just want to talk to Lindsay.. I don't know where she is. I hate sitting here in front of my computer in the dark, crying to myself. My parents are right behind the wall, but they can't hear me, and if they did, I'd be too embarrassed to let them see me cry, and explain what's bothering me. They make it seem like I wear them out. I wish I could easily be "selfless cold and composed" with people - I'm better at it, but not quite there yet. OOH so thoughtful Lily, her heart controls her mind. My sensitivity has made me do some dumb things. But I'm not just sensitive to my own thoughts, I'm sensitive to everyone elses. Why am I so wracked with guilt when I feel like I hurt someone? It depends on who the person is, I guess. But damn... I think I'm just afraid of holding a bad impression on my friends. Thats it. I hear so many of my friends complaining about one another, "he said this," "she said this" "she's a big bitch because she did this." I think I'm afraid of being talked about behind my back - even though I probably am anyway. I <3 DRAMA.
I rock at writing emo entries. Anyway, I feel foolish now for feeling so damn sad. I feel better now, maybe I should just go to bed. I drank too much coffee though :-/.
Oh man... I saw Harry Potter tonight...most amazing.. I don't know what people were disappointed with, but that's just me. Everything was great - one thing I noticed though was that they didn't talk much, the different competators from each team... like, Fleur basically said 3 things. She was supposed to be bitchy. But everything else was amazing.. the Quiddich World Cup was so neat, the graveyard scene was nice and scary, the Yule Ball was cute.
I rock at writing emo entries. Anyway, I feel foolish now for feeling so damn sad. I feel better now, maybe I should just go to bed. I drank too much coffee though :-/.
Oh man... I saw Harry Potter tonight...most amazing.. I don't know what people were disappointed with, but that's just me. Everything was great - one thing I noticed though was that they didn't talk much, the different competators from each team... like, Fleur basically said 3 things. She was supposed to be bitchy. But everything else was amazing.. the Quiddich World Cup was so neat, the graveyard scene was nice and scary, the Yule Ball was cute.