Update
I've gotten into crocheting and am totally mad for it, haha! All I can think about is acquiring more wool and learning new stitches etc. I wish I could be more chill about my hobbies. If I was in therapy still I think I'd talk to him about how I'm clearly using my hobbies as a way to hide from the possibility of me putting myself out there, relationship and friendship-wise. If I always have a craft project, I can't go out doing this or that, because I've got to do XYZ at home... I need to finish the book my therapist recommended to me (The Road Less Travelled by M. Scott Peck), nearly every time I sit down and read some of it I am astonished of how much of it applies to me. I hope when I'm done with it (this "homework" he set me will have lasted a year if I finish it in the next two weeks - which seems unlikely given the rate I read at nowadays (thanks, depression), as I finished therapy just before I went to NZ just under a year ago (I left on Christmas Eve 2022), I'll feel like I can go back and start therapy again. It feels kind of scary to think of going back, as I feel like I'm the kind of person who will always need it, and that frightens me, as being that vulnerable that consistently is really difficult for me. Sorry for the essay!!