god i hate this
i feel like i have become someone else, like the person i have tried so hard not to become over the past few years, i feel it creeping out of me. i am in a state of mind where i am like 50 times more depressed then i was when i was 14, i thought i was getting better but things just seem to be getting worse and worse in my head. i wish there was something that would help me though this, but there isnt. just me and my fucked up little world, in job corps. and this place isnt helping me much either. i feel dead inside, and i just want it to go away. i feel nothing anylonger, and my exsistance on this earth is so miniscule, like i dont matter to anyone, sometimes i think about filling up the bathtub and slitting my wrists and just drownding a pool of my own blood and bathwater. but i'll never take the easy way out. i have never been this empty in all my years. i feel nothing but coldness and darkness. i want to go back to being the person i was before all this shit happened. life dosent seem worth it anymore.