Substitute Part 3
Law & Order: SVU
Kathy/Olivia
PG-13
Disclaimer: Characters aren't mine...
Olivia listened to the silence of the house around her. She wasn’t surprised to find that she was the first one awake in the Stabler household; she usually was on the nights she stayed. She rolled to her back and held her breath as Eli rolled with her, repositioning himself to curve into her side but staying asleep. She felt slightly guilty for having woke him up the night before, but she hadn’t been able to shake off the need for some sort of connection when Kathy had fallen into an exhausted sleep.
She stared blankly at the ceiling thinking back to the first time she had slept in this bed.
Olivia spent the first month after Elliot’s death sleeping on the couch. Elizabeth spent most nights sleeping with Kathy so her bed was empty, but Olivia didn’t want to take up any more space than she had to. She had just hoped the Stabler’s needed her as much as she needed them.
After a month’s time, Olivia decided it was time for her to go home. They all needed to start working their way back to some form of normalcy. Kathy had asked her to stay, said that Olivia was in no way a burden, but Olivia had insisted.
When Olivia got home that night, she found her apartment to be too quiet. She couldn’t hear Richard’s TV playing quietly from his room or the music from Eli’s room. Her bed was too big and the dip between the cushions of the couch that had conformed to her back perfectly wasn’t present.
It had taken her forever to actually fall asleep, but when her phone rang at two a.m. that morning, she came awake instantly. She could hear crying in the background as soon as she answered.
“Olivia! Olivia please!” Kathy had sounded near tears. “He won’t stop crying! I know you said - - but he won’t - - and Elizabeth had - - and - - Olivia please!”
When Olivia had walked into the Stabler’s living room, Eli had launched himself into her arms and his sobs immediately lessened and Kathy had practically folded herself into Olivia’s arms. Olivia had only witnessed Kathy crying in such earnestness once before, the night of Elliot’s funeral. Kathy had cried numerous times during the month Elliot had been gone, but she had never seen her raked with sobs, her entire body shaking with them, barely able to catch her breath since that night.
Eli went to sleep on one shoulder as Kathy continued to cry on the other. When the tears finally quieted, Olivia led them into Eli’s bedroom. She laid him down, but every time her body lost contact with his, he began to whimper. She sighed and picked him back up, taking them into Kathy’s bedroom. There she found Elizabeth asleep in the bed, paths of dried tears on her cheek. “Nightmare,” Kathy murmured.
Olivia simply nodded and led her to the other side. She sat Kathy down and pulled the covers back so Kathy could crawl in. As she began to pull them back up, Kathy grabbed her wrist. “Stay,” she whispered and scooted over, making her intentions known. Olivia froze a moment before nodding and lying down. Eli began whimpering quietly again and they weren’t silenced until Olivia lay him on her chest so he could hear her heartbeat.
She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. It shouldn’t have been like this. Her partner should have been there to comfort his family. If only she had known he was planning to go on stakeout that night… If only she had gotten there ten minutes sooner… If only she had been with him that night… Olivia felt tears pool in her eyes, but they didn’t fall until she heard Kathy sniffle and move in closer to her body.
Olivia was woken at some point in the night when she felt the mattress shift. She looked down to see Richard curling up with his pillow at the foot of the bed. He gave her a sad look before yawning and closing his eyes.
That had been the first night she had slept in this bed, but it was by no means the last. After that, it seemed there was at least one night once a month that everything seemed to go wrong and Kathy would feel like she couldn’t handle it herself. On those nights, it seemed like the entire Stabler family and herself shared that bed. And on Thursday nights, Kathy always insisted she stay. Olivia tried to sleep on the couch as much as possible, but more often than not she found herself in bed with Kathy and Eli.
She gently rolled Eli closer to his mother as she rose from the bed. She completely froze a moment as he maneuvered himself until he was comfortable and stayed asleep. She grabbed her jeans from the foot of the bed where she had kicked them off before laying down with Eli and made her way out of the room. She peeked in both Elizabeth and Richard’s room to see them still sleeping as she made her way to the stairs to go to the kitchen. Once there, she turned on the coffee maker and moved to look out the window.
She closed her eyes and rubbed her face roughly with her palms. What in the hell were they doing? She understood that Kathy still needed comforting every now and then. She could even understand that Kathy’s body was beginning to feel need again. But was that all it was? A warm body to lean on? To love? Was that all Kathy wanted from her? Or was it more?
What did she want for that matter? Could she handle simply being a warm body for Kathy to love when she needed it? Could she handle it being more? Would she be able to be to Kathy what she had never been to another person besides Alex? More than just a friend or lover, but a partner?
She looked up as she heard the floorboards up above creak. They’d find out soon enough.
Kathy/Olivia
PG-13
Disclaimer: Characters aren't mine...
Olivia listened to the silence of the house around her. She wasn’t surprised to find that she was the first one awake in the Stabler household; she usually was on the nights she stayed. She rolled to her back and held her breath as Eli rolled with her, repositioning himself to curve into her side but staying asleep. She felt slightly guilty for having woke him up the night before, but she hadn’t been able to shake off the need for some sort of connection when Kathy had fallen into an exhausted sleep.
She stared blankly at the ceiling thinking back to the first time she had slept in this bed.
Olivia spent the first month after Elliot’s death sleeping on the couch. Elizabeth spent most nights sleeping with Kathy so her bed was empty, but Olivia didn’t want to take up any more space than she had to. She had just hoped the Stabler’s needed her as much as she needed them.
After a month’s time, Olivia decided it was time for her to go home. They all needed to start working their way back to some form of normalcy. Kathy had asked her to stay, said that Olivia was in no way a burden, but Olivia had insisted.
When Olivia got home that night, she found her apartment to be too quiet. She couldn’t hear Richard’s TV playing quietly from his room or the music from Eli’s room. Her bed was too big and the dip between the cushions of the couch that had conformed to her back perfectly wasn’t present.
It had taken her forever to actually fall asleep, but when her phone rang at two a.m. that morning, she came awake instantly. She could hear crying in the background as soon as she answered.
“Olivia! Olivia please!” Kathy had sounded near tears. “He won’t stop crying! I know you said - - but he won’t - - and Elizabeth had - - and - - Olivia please!”
When Olivia had walked into the Stabler’s living room, Eli had launched himself into her arms and his sobs immediately lessened and Kathy had practically folded herself into Olivia’s arms. Olivia had only witnessed Kathy crying in such earnestness once before, the night of Elliot’s funeral. Kathy had cried numerous times during the month Elliot had been gone, but she had never seen her raked with sobs, her entire body shaking with them, barely able to catch her breath since that night.
Eli went to sleep on one shoulder as Kathy continued to cry on the other. When the tears finally quieted, Olivia led them into Eli’s bedroom. She laid him down, but every time her body lost contact with his, he began to whimper. She sighed and picked him back up, taking them into Kathy’s bedroom. There she found Elizabeth asleep in the bed, paths of dried tears on her cheek. “Nightmare,” Kathy murmured.
Olivia simply nodded and led her to the other side. She sat Kathy down and pulled the covers back so Kathy could crawl in. As she began to pull them back up, Kathy grabbed her wrist. “Stay,” she whispered and scooted over, making her intentions known. Olivia froze a moment before nodding and lying down. Eli began whimpering quietly again and they weren’t silenced until Olivia lay him on her chest so he could hear her heartbeat.
She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. It shouldn’t have been like this. Her partner should have been there to comfort his family. If only she had known he was planning to go on stakeout that night… If only she had gotten there ten minutes sooner… If only she had been with him that night… Olivia felt tears pool in her eyes, but they didn’t fall until she heard Kathy sniffle and move in closer to her body.
Olivia was woken at some point in the night when she felt the mattress shift. She looked down to see Richard curling up with his pillow at the foot of the bed. He gave her a sad look before yawning and closing his eyes.
That had been the first night she had slept in this bed, but it was by no means the last. After that, it seemed there was at least one night once a month that everything seemed to go wrong and Kathy would feel like she couldn’t handle it herself. On those nights, it seemed like the entire Stabler family and herself shared that bed. And on Thursday nights, Kathy always insisted she stay. Olivia tried to sleep on the couch as much as possible, but more often than not she found herself in bed with Kathy and Eli.
She gently rolled Eli closer to his mother as she rose from the bed. She completely froze a moment as he maneuvered himself until he was comfortable and stayed asleep. She grabbed her jeans from the foot of the bed where she had kicked them off before laying down with Eli and made her way out of the room. She peeked in both Elizabeth and Richard’s room to see them still sleeping as she made her way to the stairs to go to the kitchen. Once there, she turned on the coffee maker and moved to look out the window.
She closed her eyes and rubbed her face roughly with her palms. What in the hell were they doing? She understood that Kathy still needed comforting every now and then. She could even understand that Kathy’s body was beginning to feel need again. But was that all it was? A warm body to lean on? To love? Was that all Kathy wanted from her? Or was it more?
What did she want for that matter? Could she handle simply being a warm body for Kathy to love when she needed it? Could she handle it being more? Would she be able to be to Kathy what she had never been to another person besides Alex? More than just a friend or lover, but a partner?
She looked up as she heard the floorboards up above creak. They’d find out soon enough.