The Beginning of my Summer
So, today is my last day here with Miss Sally for a while. I'm not sure whether it will be two days, two weeks, or two months. I'm sure that once I resettle back into train life I will decide to come home later rather than sooner. We are all about to take Blue on a walk together. It'll be nice to spend time together as a family and take one last walk with Blue for a while. I'm going to miss that dog and despite our disagreements about things here and there I will miss Miss Sally.
This morning when I woke up I was like a bitchy demon on an emotional roller coaster. I don't really know what got into me. I was angry and sad and difficult. Poor Aaron. He is a saint for putting up with me. It is because I always apologize and I always mean it. I always am aware when I have done something wrong or took the wrong approach with things. I like to consider myself very self-aware. I can't promise I will always admit it to everyone else but I know it and I usually do admit it.
I started this entry yesterday afternoon, while listening to Aaron playing the piano. I love listening to him. I used to get jealous and mad when he played because of my own insecurities. Because I wanted to be able to play like him and I thought I couldn't. I am not like this anymore. Thank god! It was very immature. How could I ever get angry with him for doing such a beautiful thing or doing something he loves. I want him to enjoy his self. That is something I am learning to do and it is getting my over all of my immature and insecure humps.
It is now 5:35am Monday morning. I am at the airport in my t-mobile hot spot, using wireless power to send this message to the world. The sun is just coming up. Aaron and I arrived here around 5:00am. He already left. He is probably on the runway as I type. We had to take different flights. Mine doesn't leave until 8:30am. Brutal! Three hours and no Starbucks on my concourse. Yesterday, Aaron and I test drove Kia's for $15 gift certificates to Starbucks. Kick ass! Thirty bucks to spend at Starbucks for about 8 minutes work. I guess I'll just have to use mine later. I hope I can find a Starbucks. Thanks at least for t-mobile hot spots and my book to keep my occupied for now. I need to put on headphones, I am annoyed by the people surrounding me. Just one couple in particular. Ahhh... That's better, a little Paul Simon always helps ease the pain. Speaking of which, Yessi, I will make that CD for you as soon as I get there. You have a place in my i-cal.
I am looking forward to my summer with the circus. I can't wait to make some art. I have promised myself two things: to completely take an idea from beginning to finish and to just enjoy the act of making art instead of putting my entire self worth in my art. These are both things I have terrible trouble with. I rarely finish anything I start. I just almost finished this computer bag I was making and my sewing machine broke. I was very disappointed because I rarely finish projects that I start and I was totally going to finish this one. Pisser. I also have to not put all of my worth in my art because I am bound to create very ugly things from time to time and I can not keep basing my self worth on my art because the highs and lows are too painful. It took me a long time to realize this, but I am slowly learning with the help of Aaron that people aren't only their work. They are much more than that. I am going to try to imprint that into my brain this summer and just be happy that I am creating.
Man... It's going to be one hot summer. Thank karma for my camelbak!
This morning when I woke up I was like a bitchy demon on an emotional roller coaster. I don't really know what got into me. I was angry and sad and difficult. Poor Aaron. He is a saint for putting up with me. It is because I always apologize and I always mean it. I always am aware when I have done something wrong or took the wrong approach with things. I like to consider myself very self-aware. I can't promise I will always admit it to everyone else but I know it and I usually do admit it.
I started this entry yesterday afternoon, while listening to Aaron playing the piano. I love listening to him. I used to get jealous and mad when he played because of my own insecurities. Because I wanted to be able to play like him and I thought I couldn't. I am not like this anymore. Thank god! It was very immature. How could I ever get angry with him for doing such a beautiful thing or doing something he loves. I want him to enjoy his self. That is something I am learning to do and it is getting my over all of my immature and insecure humps.
It is now 5:35am Monday morning. I am at the airport in my t-mobile hot spot, using wireless power to send this message to the world. The sun is just coming up. Aaron and I arrived here around 5:00am. He already left. He is probably on the runway as I type. We had to take different flights. Mine doesn't leave until 8:30am. Brutal! Three hours and no Starbucks on my concourse. Yesterday, Aaron and I test drove Kia's for $15 gift certificates to Starbucks. Kick ass! Thirty bucks to spend at Starbucks for about 8 minutes work. I guess I'll just have to use mine later. I hope I can find a Starbucks. Thanks at least for t-mobile hot spots and my book to keep my occupied for now. I need to put on headphones, I am annoyed by the people surrounding me. Just one couple in particular. Ahhh... That's better, a little Paul Simon always helps ease the pain. Speaking of which, Yessi, I will make that CD for you as soon as I get there. You have a place in my i-cal.
I am looking forward to my summer with the circus. I can't wait to make some art. I have promised myself two things: to completely take an idea from beginning to finish and to just enjoy the act of making art instead of putting my entire self worth in my art. These are both things I have terrible trouble with. I rarely finish anything I start. I just almost finished this computer bag I was making and my sewing machine broke. I was very disappointed because I rarely finish projects that I start and I was totally going to finish this one. Pisser. I also have to not put all of my worth in my art because I am bound to create very ugly things from time to time and I can not keep basing my self worth on my art because the highs and lows are too painful. It took me a long time to realize this, but I am slowly learning with the help of Aaron that people aren't only their work. They are much more than that. I am going to try to imprint that into my brain this summer and just be happy that I am creating.
Man... It's going to be one hot summer. Thank karma for my camelbak!