how's it gonna be when you don't know me anymore...
*~my day was full of..
walking, actually. yeah, today i went to 86th street with kerri, christina, and ashlyn. twas fun, i must admit, even though i wasn't in the mood to go. can you blame me? i had $21 and i woke up at 11:32 which gave me exactly 28 minutes to take a shower, get dressed, etc, and get to the bus stop. but yeah it was definitely worth it. i got a hat and a really sparkly blue bracelet. i like them lots. when i think about it, actually, we didn't do THAT much shopping. well we did.. but all in one store. century 21<333 (oh and mcdonald's =])
mhm.. so at about 4:30 the girls walked me to 78th and 3rd so i could go to my dad's house. then we (me, my dad, lisa, the boys) drove back to rockaway and had dinner with my sisters and my neice. it was delicious, might i add.
after dinner, i went to meg's and then we walked to kerri's and picked her up, then we walked to christina's and picked her up, then we walked to maureen's.. where the recruiting streak ended because she wasn't home. =[
so after that, meg went home and kerri, christina, and i walked back to kerri's house. on the way there we got FOLLOWED by this guy. (which totally freaked me and christina out) so when we got to kerri's we had a discussion about that happening. and then we looked at the *stars* for a while.. that was about it.
*~don't you ever get scared?
i don't mean scared of like a thunderstorm or a horror movie or anything like that. i mean scared of not knowing what's gonna come next. don't get me wrong, it's what makes life interesting, but interesting isn't always what you want.. you know?
i'm one of those people that can over-think every situation that occurs; i can even overthink situations that never even happened.
and i never thought of myself as a nervous person.. because i'm not. i'm just scared of things that i can't help. i'm scared of dying. i'm scared of losing my friends and family. i'm scared of things that i have absolutely no control over and i'm scared for all those people who should be scared and aren't.
i could spend hours thinking about this and never get anywhere. because i'll go back and forth for hours upon end, debating every little detail, until i finally come to the conclusion that even if i could stop things from happening, i wouldn't. because as un-religious as i may come off, i believe god has a reason for everything. and if one thing happens that shouldn't (or vice versa) everything will be thrown out of whack.
it sounds hypocritical too, because i've also said "if god has control over everything, why does he let so many people get hurt?" but as so many people have told me, "it's all in the plan."
i don't know anymore.. everything puzzles me.
i just wish i knew more than i do.. or maybe it's the other way around...
walking, actually. yeah, today i went to 86th street with kerri, christina, and ashlyn. twas fun, i must admit, even though i wasn't in the mood to go. can you blame me? i had $21 and i woke up at 11:32 which gave me exactly 28 minutes to take a shower, get dressed, etc, and get to the bus stop. but yeah it was definitely worth it. i got a hat and a really sparkly blue bracelet. i like them lots. when i think about it, actually, we didn't do THAT much shopping. well we did.. but all in one store. century 21<333 (oh and mcdonald's =])
mhm.. so at about 4:30 the girls walked me to 78th and 3rd so i could go to my dad's house. then we (me, my dad, lisa, the boys) drove back to rockaway and had dinner with my sisters and my neice. it was delicious, might i add.
after dinner, i went to meg's and then we walked to kerri's and picked her up, then we walked to christina's and picked her up, then we walked to maureen's.. where the recruiting streak ended because she wasn't home. =[
so after that, meg went home and kerri, christina, and i walked back to kerri's house. on the way there we got FOLLOWED by this guy. (which totally freaked me and christina out) so when we got to kerri's we had a discussion about that happening. and then we looked at the *stars* for a while.. that was about it.
*~don't you ever get scared?
i don't mean scared of like a thunderstorm or a horror movie or anything like that. i mean scared of not knowing what's gonna come next. don't get me wrong, it's what makes life interesting, but interesting isn't always what you want.. you know?
i'm one of those people that can over-think every situation that occurs; i can even overthink situations that never even happened.
and i never thought of myself as a nervous person.. because i'm not. i'm just scared of things that i can't help. i'm scared of dying. i'm scared of losing my friends and family. i'm scared of things that i have absolutely no control over and i'm scared for all those people who should be scared and aren't.
i could spend hours thinking about this and never get anywhere. because i'll go back and forth for hours upon end, debating every little detail, until i finally come to the conclusion that even if i could stop things from happening, i wouldn't. because as un-religious as i may come off, i believe god has a reason for everything. and if one thing happens that shouldn't (or vice versa) everything will be thrown out of whack.
it sounds hypocritical too, because i've also said "if god has control over everything, why does he let so many people get hurt?" but as so many people have told me, "it's all in the plan."
i don't know anymore.. everything puzzles me.
i just wish i knew more than i do.. or maybe it's the other way around...