[i don't care who/what you are. you're gona know.]
so i was doing some thinking and junk, and i just..there's so many things about me that i didn't realize/didn't wana realize. i'll be honost, i don't know who i am as a person yet, and there's just so many things that make me as a person. people are gona like me/not like me, their choice. i don't care, honostly i don't, if they don't like me, they obviously have a reason, weither it's stupid/they actually hate me, it's their choice, i don't haveto be friends with everyone, i have my friends, i have my lil circle of friends that are close. if people wana make friends with me, well sure, i'm up to making new friends. but it's like if people don't like me for who i am, i'm not gona force them, i'm not gona change for them so they can like me, because the friends i have now, like me for who i am, and if i changed for somebody else, that could cause them not to like me anymore. but anyways, here's a list of things that i have realized about myself/that i do/that i like.
- i get jealous sometimes, sometimes over stupid stuff, if i see a girl around a guy i -really- like, i'll get jealous, and perhaps not even talk to that girl for some time after that.
- i hate being wrong. i will argue my point until i get so pissed off that i can't finish, or until they agree with me, dispite outa not wanting to argue anymore, either way, i haveto get my way, and i get really pissed off if i don't.
- i like having guy friends more than girl friends, girls complain too much [comeon i complain too much. everybody knows that i do.] i don't know, guys give you the truth. they hate getting asked am i pretty/am i fat. they avoid that question at all costs. guys are just...better. but i mean the girl friends that i have right now, are great. but...just ya know.
- i still listen to n'sync/britney spears/backstreet boys/spice girls - i don't care. some of their music was good. and i like it.
- i love country, i listen to it all the time. i like practically any kind of genre, i do have those kinds that i don't like, but even sometimes i'll listen to them.
- i'm a sucker for hot voices, i don't know, there's just something about a guy that has a hot voice. i completely go weak.
- i'm not big on religion, i have my belifes, but i'm completly big on it at all, i don't believe in god. my mom made me go to chuch when i was living with her, i hated it. i don't believe it.
- i'm a really big flirt. and sometimes i lead guys on. they think that i like them, only to be dissapointed that i'm just a flirt.
- i love disney movies, i watched beauty and the beast the other day, and yesterday i watched pocahontis [yeah, i know. i completely murdered that spelling.] but, i love them.
- i love hugs, hugs are very essential to me.
- i love making out.
- i hate getting hurt [relationship wise]
- i tend to push the people away that i care about.
- i don't say i love you to my family. i care about them a lot, but i don't show them how much i care about them. and i'm scared, what if something happens to somebody, and i never get a chance to say goodbye/never get a chance to tell them i love them/they never know how i really feel. i'm afraid of death. seriously afraid of it, yes i am afraid of dying. but, it could happen tommaro. i mean, i don't know what happens after i die. again, i have my belifes. but i truely don't know, nobody truely knows what happens when they die, and that's why there's all these religions out there. but no, i could die tommaro/anybody could die tommaro, and i'd never get a chance to tell them how i felt or anything. i'm afraid of ANYBODY dying. it scares me so much.
- i like elmo/in love with elmo. i watch seseme street when i see it on, just so i can see elmo. i'm infatuated. i know. it's weird being in love with a 3 year old fictional character on tv. but he's absolutly adorable.
- i think i know what real love feels like. i could be wrong. but i think i was actually/truely in love with Brandon, he was in love with me and so on, i was the first girl that he said "i love you too." and i wish that he could have been the first guy that i had ever said "i love you" to, unfortunutly he wasn't. and i would take anything back, so that he could be. man. i still have so many feelings for that kid, and it breaks my heart that he doesn't talk to me. he's is one person that i would do absolutly anything for.
- i have very low self esteem, anybody who knows me, knows that. i think i'm fat/ugly. but i'm trying to change that, because everybody is beautiful. and i'm not getting into that whole thing, cause i think i already have.
- i tend to use the world "i love you" like it's just a phrase and means nothing. i tell that to everybody, except for the people i actually care about, well no. that's not true, because i do tell it to some people that i really care about. but other than that, well it's like somebody does something, and i'll just be like "oh my god, i love you" and it's like that. but it's just not right. and i know that, but it's what i do. and i can't stop it, i probably could, but.. it just comes out.
- i'm not afraid of many things, but i do have my afraidness. i'm deathly afriad of sharks/afriad of dying/afraid of flying kites/afraid of losing somebody that means a lot to me/being alone.
- i hate being alone. i hate being left alone in my house, it scares me. i have ghosts in my house. and yes i do believe in ghosts. but no, i'm afraid of somebody just comming to my house and murdering me. i'm very paranoid.
there's a lot more about me. those are like things that people might not know about me and junk. but. i'd say that there's so much that makes up a person. you can think all you want about a person. you can think a persons a nerd/a loner. but once you get to talk to them, you find something out that truely completely amazes you. yes it's happen to me. but everybody has their own uniqeness about them. and it's fun. i don't know. yeah, i felt the need to make this a public entry.
- i get jealous sometimes, sometimes over stupid stuff, if i see a girl around a guy i -really- like, i'll get jealous, and perhaps not even talk to that girl for some time after that.
- i hate being wrong. i will argue my point until i get so pissed off that i can't finish, or until they agree with me, dispite outa not wanting to argue anymore, either way, i haveto get my way, and i get really pissed off if i don't.
- i like having guy friends more than girl friends, girls complain too much [comeon i complain too much. everybody knows that i do.] i don't know, guys give you the truth. they hate getting asked am i pretty/am i fat. they avoid that question at all costs. guys are just...better. but i mean the girl friends that i have right now, are great. but...just ya know.
- i still listen to n'sync/britney spears/backstreet boys/spice girls - i don't care. some of their music was good. and i like it.
- i love country, i listen to it all the time. i like practically any kind of genre, i do have those kinds that i don't like, but even sometimes i'll listen to them.
- i'm a sucker for hot voices, i don't know, there's just something about a guy that has a hot voice. i completely go weak.
- i'm not big on religion, i have my belifes, but i'm completly big on it at all, i don't believe in god. my mom made me go to chuch when i was living with her, i hated it. i don't believe it.
- i'm a really big flirt. and sometimes i lead guys on. they think that i like them, only to be dissapointed that i'm just a flirt.
- i love disney movies, i watched beauty and the beast the other day, and yesterday i watched pocahontis [yeah, i know. i completely murdered that spelling.] but, i love them.
- i love hugs, hugs are very essential to me.
- i love making out.
- i hate getting hurt [relationship wise]
- i tend to push the people away that i care about.
- i don't say i love you to my family. i care about them a lot, but i don't show them how much i care about them. and i'm scared, what if something happens to somebody, and i never get a chance to say goodbye/never get a chance to tell them i love them/they never know how i really feel. i'm afraid of death. seriously afraid of it, yes i am afraid of dying. but, it could happen tommaro. i mean, i don't know what happens after i die. again, i have my belifes. but i truely don't know, nobody truely knows what happens when they die, and that's why there's all these religions out there. but no, i could die tommaro/anybody could die tommaro, and i'd never get a chance to tell them how i felt or anything. i'm afraid of ANYBODY dying. it scares me so much.
- i like elmo/in love with elmo. i watch seseme street when i see it on, just so i can see elmo. i'm infatuated. i know. it's weird being in love with a 3 year old fictional character on tv. but he's absolutly adorable.
- i think i know what real love feels like. i could be wrong. but i think i was actually/truely in love with Brandon, he was in love with me and so on, i was the first girl that he said "i love you too." and i wish that he could have been the first guy that i had ever said "i love you" to, unfortunutly he wasn't. and i would take anything back, so that he could be. man. i still have so many feelings for that kid, and it breaks my heart that he doesn't talk to me. he's is one person that i would do absolutly anything for.
- i have very low self esteem, anybody who knows me, knows that. i think i'm fat/ugly. but i'm trying to change that, because everybody is beautiful. and i'm not getting into that whole thing, cause i think i already have.
- i tend to use the world "i love you" like it's just a phrase and means nothing. i tell that to everybody, except for the people i actually care about, well no. that's not true, because i do tell it to some people that i really care about. but other than that, well it's like somebody does something, and i'll just be like "oh my god, i love you" and it's like that. but it's just not right. and i know that, but it's what i do. and i can't stop it, i probably could, but.. it just comes out.
- i'm not afraid of many things, but i do have my afraidness. i'm deathly afriad of sharks/afriad of dying/afraid of flying kites/afraid of losing somebody that means a lot to me/being alone.
- i hate being alone. i hate being left alone in my house, it scares me. i have ghosts in my house. and yes i do believe in ghosts. but no, i'm afraid of somebody just comming to my house and murdering me. i'm very paranoid.
there's a lot more about me. those are like things that people might not know about me and junk. but. i'd say that there's so much that makes up a person. you can think all you want about a person. you can think a persons a nerd/a loner. but once you get to talk to them, you find something out that truely completely amazes you. yes it's happen to me. but everybody has their own uniqeness about them. and it's fun. i don't know. yeah, i felt the need to make this a public entry.