(no subject)
So. I'm really stressing about this mock trial thing tomorrow today. Because I don't have my stuff memorized. And I really need to, because evidently I got docked big time for using notes first round. Umm, it's specifically in the rules that you can't dock for using notes, but they do it anyway, which pisses me off.
School is probably more stressing right now. I'm behind in everything, but the quarter ends Friday, so all the time that I thought I had to gather courage and ask teachers to be able to make up work is gone. And even if they agreed to let me, between mock trial Tuesday and Thursday, preparing for it tonight and Wednesday, I have no evenings to do this work. My report card's going to suck, I'm not going to be able to bring my grades up for semester at all, and I'm going to be right back where I used to be, with straight Bs and prolly a couple of Cs at the rate I'm going. It's totally different from previous years, though, because back then it was more "Oh, I do just what I need to to get by", but now I can't force myself to work. At all. I stress and get sick whenever I think about it, so I don't work, trying to avoid said stress, but really just cause more by not doing the work. I've said this all a thousand times, but it's never helped me.
Mock trial coach lady yelled at us on Sunday for bitching about the team combination thing. I was going to defend myself (because she made it seem like we were defaming the personal qualities of the people on the team while that was not the case; we simply discussed how their skill wasn't up to par and mainly how we disagreed with the policy. With the skill bit, it's the same way that you would say "Yeah, so and so's not good at math, really.") and explain that we're simply in disagreement with her decision to select the team in that manner, but the group she was bitching at was comprised halfly of people who weren't involved at all, so were I to start talking back, it would drag them into it and I didn't want to do that. She wants me to wear this suit jacket thing of hers, though, which is pretty much too small. I'm like "Okay, but I can't so much button it as not." She's like "Yeah, that's fine". I'm not crazy about it, honestly, I'm a fan of my mostly unbuttoned red long sleeved dress shirt and low cut black tanktop underneath when we're going against co-ed and guys' schools. Kidding, but it's more comfortable than trying to smush a tight jacket on top of that.
Speaking of, I've got to go find my pants. They were in the bathroom for a while, but I finally threw them down the laundry chute a few days ago. So they're in the laundry room in the basement somewhere. Which means that they're undoubtedly wrinkly (even though these pants are really good at staying unwrinkled, there's only so much they can take) so I'll have to get up early and iron them. Grr. Though not, I guess, because I'm pretty sure I'm going home before trial like I usually do (for just an hour or so, but I can't stand being away from home for 16 hours like that without time to sit down and relax).
English journal conferences this week. Realized I haven't been doing my journal at all this quarter. I have maybe four pages of it. Shit. And my grade is hugely riding on this thing. I heard one girl had one zero and it brought her down to a 79%. My one zero in that class is for a huge thing. I've got to be practically failing.
Spanish test tomorrow also. Same with bio. Both grades also riding on these tests. Got a 73% on the last Spanish test (I, along with more than half the class, got one entire conjugation section wrong for some reason) and I never do well on the vocab quizzes, so I doubt I've got higher than a B- in there at the moment. Bio is easy, but I don't know this stuff that well (as he really didn't teach it, grr) and it's all diagrams and such to draw and essays. Multiple choice I can get, because those tend to be easy, but I have to diagram from scratch a bunch of stuff. Grr.
Started a book Sunday evening, finished it this afternoon: Trial by Journal by Kate Klise. It's a kids' book, really, but I thought it was entertaining. It's a quick read, something to do while you're lounging around and want to do something easy but fun for two hours. Twas cute. I had started going back through and rereading the Everworld books, but I can't find my copy of book 3, so I stopped until I can locate it (I'm not one for reading out of order when I've not read the books for several years) and my sister really loves the Klises' books, and this was lying around, so I picked it up.
So. I'm going to finish this fic I'm reading and then go to bed. Because yay, sleep. I've been doing that a lot lately. Ish. I'm waking up every 2 hours or so, more and more frequently as it gets closer to morning. I'm falling asleep for 15 minutes and then waking up as it nears 6:30. So I'm having to sleep for longer periods to counter the fact that I'm not getting good sleep. I've given up on the whole stay up to do work thing. I don't do the work anyway, so why the hell am I staying up? It's odd, though, if I go to bed at 10ish and get up at 6ish (like I did Sunday night), you'd think I wouldn't always be as tired as I am. My mum makes these comments about how I spend all my time sleeping, and I'm like "But I don't--I can't sleep most of the time!" I get really defensive about it, for some reason. An odd one, I am.
School is probably more stressing right now. I'm behind in everything, but the quarter ends Friday, so all the time that I thought I had to gather courage and ask teachers to be able to make up work is gone. And even if they agreed to let me, between mock trial Tuesday and Thursday, preparing for it tonight and Wednesday, I have no evenings to do this work. My report card's going to suck, I'm not going to be able to bring my grades up for semester at all, and I'm going to be right back where I used to be, with straight Bs and prolly a couple of Cs at the rate I'm going. It's totally different from previous years, though, because back then it was more "Oh, I do just what I need to to get by", but now I can't force myself to work. At all. I stress and get sick whenever I think about it, so I don't work, trying to avoid said stress, but really just cause more by not doing the work. I've said this all a thousand times, but it's never helped me.
Mock trial coach lady yelled at us on Sunday for bitching about the team combination thing. I was going to defend myself (because she made it seem like we were defaming the personal qualities of the people on the team while that was not the case; we simply discussed how their skill wasn't up to par and mainly how we disagreed with the policy. With the skill bit, it's the same way that you would say "Yeah, so and so's not good at math, really.") and explain that we're simply in disagreement with her decision to select the team in that manner, but the group she was bitching at was comprised halfly of people who weren't involved at all, so were I to start talking back, it would drag them into it and I didn't want to do that. She wants me to wear this suit jacket thing of hers, though, which is pretty much too small. I'm like "Okay, but I can't so much button it as not." She's like "Yeah, that's fine". I'm not crazy about it, honestly, I'm a fan of my mostly unbuttoned red long sleeved dress shirt and low cut black tanktop underneath when we're going against co-ed and guys' schools. Kidding, but it's more comfortable than trying to smush a tight jacket on top of that.
Speaking of, I've got to go find my pants. They were in the bathroom for a while, but I finally threw them down the laundry chute a few days ago. So they're in the laundry room in the basement somewhere. Which means that they're undoubtedly wrinkly (even though these pants are really good at staying unwrinkled, there's only so much they can take) so I'll have to get up early and iron them. Grr. Though not, I guess, because I'm pretty sure I'm going home before trial like I usually do (for just an hour or so, but I can't stand being away from home for 16 hours like that without time to sit down and relax).
English journal conferences this week. Realized I haven't been doing my journal at all this quarter. I have maybe four pages of it. Shit. And my grade is hugely riding on this thing. I heard one girl had one zero and it brought her down to a 79%. My one zero in that class is for a huge thing. I've got to be practically failing.
Spanish test tomorrow also. Same with bio. Both grades also riding on these tests. Got a 73% on the last Spanish test (I, along with more than half the class, got one entire conjugation section wrong for some reason) and I never do well on the vocab quizzes, so I doubt I've got higher than a B- in there at the moment. Bio is easy, but I don't know this stuff that well (as he really didn't teach it, grr) and it's all diagrams and such to draw and essays. Multiple choice I can get, because those tend to be easy, but I have to diagram from scratch a bunch of stuff. Grr.
Started a book Sunday evening, finished it this afternoon: Trial by Journal by Kate Klise. It's a kids' book, really, but I thought it was entertaining. It's a quick read, something to do while you're lounging around and want to do something easy but fun for two hours. Twas cute. I had started going back through and rereading the Everworld books, but I can't find my copy of book 3, so I stopped until I can locate it (I'm not one for reading out of order when I've not read the books for several years) and my sister really loves the Klises' books, and this was lying around, so I picked it up.
So. I'm going to finish this fic I'm reading and then go to bed. Because yay, sleep. I've been doing that a lot lately. Ish. I'm waking up every 2 hours or so, more and more frequently as it gets closer to morning. I'm falling asleep for 15 minutes and then waking up as it nears 6:30. So I'm having to sleep for longer periods to counter the fact that I'm not getting good sleep. I've given up on the whole stay up to do work thing. I don't do the work anyway, so why the hell am I staying up? It's odd, though, if I go to bed at 10ish and get up at 6ish (like I did Sunday night), you'd think I wouldn't always be as tired as I am. My mum makes these comments about how I spend all my time sleeping, and I'm like "But I don't--I can't sleep most of the time!" I get really defensive about it, for some reason. An odd one, I am.