something new
Its damn near 4am and I can’t sleep, but I do know why. At the end of this month I will be moving to San Diego. We have our digs, we have our arrangements; and for the most part we have how we’re getting down there. So it’s not the fault of the move precisely, but what it takes to move. How I need to deconstruct a party house into a livable home for someone new. This is such an end of an era that it’s truly scary. I’m moving from my sure-thing to something new (and please don’t get me wrong, exciting!) I wouldn’t be moving if I had any thought or even an inkling that this would be a mistake, so I’m secure in all regards of the word. I’m just going to miss my life up here. I have a great job with good people (pay could be better…) and my friends are truly the best people I’ve ever met in my life. To leave the latter is what kills. AND it’s not like once I leave that’s that and I never ever get to see them again (half of them originally came from southern California anyway) I’m just scared. That’s just the bad stuff however, because San Diego is an amazing place. I’ll find a new job in a heartbeat with my skills in optometry, and I’m sure new friends will be soon to follow. Starting a new life is always stressful and sometimes sad, but who would choose to make a change if a change is not needed to be made? I’ve been in Rohnert Park long long enough; its way time for that change.
Some of my insomnia is spanning from my luck with friends at times... Since my last post this world lost two amazing people who were very close to me; one to an accident, one to his own volition. I don’t really know what to say about it other than I regret that the last time I talked to the latter of the two was at the first’s funeral. And just to go back to that same funeral home a few months later to say goodbye to him as well. I miss them both so so very much, and I regret that more considering I missed them even before it all went down. I hate loosing touch with people that are so close to me. AND it wasn’t exactly that I “lost touch”, but that we’ve all got our lives. I’m up here doin’ my thing, you’re over there doin’ your thang.. It’s what we do. HOWEVER, I wish I picked up a phone and shot a call out and said “hello”. I’ve been better about it since my friends left our world. Still, it’s rough knowing we won’t grow old sitting on our front porches with shotguns yellin’ at the neighbor kids for being on the lawn. What it has done however is brought a few of us closer together. I get more random phone calls now from people just checking in. I think we all realized our own mortality during those days.
Change change change
Some of my insomnia is spanning from my luck with friends at times... Since my last post this world lost two amazing people who were very close to me; one to an accident, one to his own volition. I don’t really know what to say about it other than I regret that the last time I talked to the latter of the two was at the first’s funeral. And just to go back to that same funeral home a few months later to say goodbye to him as well. I miss them both so so very much, and I regret that more considering I missed them even before it all went down. I hate loosing touch with people that are so close to me. AND it wasn’t exactly that I “lost touch”, but that we’ve all got our lives. I’m up here doin’ my thing, you’re over there doin’ your thang.. It’s what we do. HOWEVER, I wish I picked up a phone and shot a call out and said “hello”. I’ve been better about it since my friends left our world. Still, it’s rough knowing we won’t grow old sitting on our front porches with shotguns yellin’ at the neighbor kids for being on the lawn. What it has done however is brought a few of us closer together. I get more random phone calls now from people just checking in. I think we all realized our own mortality during those days.
Change change change