The Immortals.
There are bad movies which are good in their badness.. it makes them funny or interesting on an intellectual level. And there are also movies which make you feel like you have just lost 2 hours of your life you will never get back.
This movie is one of the latter movies.
I have to say that i have absolutely no idea what the point is of this movie.. what so ever... also anyone who says this is a good movie.... has no idea what a good movie is... it’s appalling.
The script is bad, the action is mediocre, The acting.. well the actors are trying their best but really you cannot make silk purses from sows ears.. and seriously this movie has the smell of ham running right through it.
As far as I can understand it this is a giant Revenge movie. Hyperion (Rouke) is a massively effective marauding king, with a penchant for emasculating and deforming his hordes running rampant across Greece?... Hyperion is looking for a epic bow to release the Titans and kill off the Gods... I think.. but while doing this he wants to just kill and hurt everyone he can... in the most epically graphic ways he can...
Seriously.. THIS MOVIE MAKES LITTLE SENSE.
Basic idea is an Oracle sees a vision of Hyperion releasing the titans if he gets hold of the Epirus bow.. shortly after this vision King Hyperion descends upon the Oracle’s temple and trashes the place.. taking her prisoner and brutally dispatching various temple personnel. Meanwhile in a lonely little village somewhere else near the sea. Theseus (Henry Cavill) is randomly training and chatting to an old man (John Hurt). And you know what... it really is not worth me telling you much because it really doesn’t matter... because it makes no sense.
In my recollection of the Theseus legend.. this is the man who bested the minotaur of the Labyrinth... not got into some random scrap over releasing Titans and bringing down the Gods...
Infact all i want to do is rage at this movie... in a major WTF!!!.
The Pantheon of Greek Gods appears to be made up of 7 people... all dressed in weird gold outfits which made them look like Cirque du Soleil do punk during gay pride week. Not only do they not look anything like a Greek of the period.. they don’t even look like a God of the period!.
Then you have Hyperion who makes no sense what so ever.. why would anyone follow this man.. a man who seems to be so bipolar that its painful, he disfigures his men, has them wear gimp masks so they can be “equal” but also likes to emasculate his warriors with a hammer. He also likes to spend a lot of his time just randomly torturing his captives to death (including using a brazen bull) just because.
You have Theseus who as far as i can tell seems to be going nowhere and doing nothing except carrying a big chip on his shoulder because he’s lower than a Plebian because he is the progeny from a rape (gone is the idea that he’s son of Poseidon and Ageaus. He’s just a man with a grudge. Who gets involved because Hyperion kills his mother in front of him (conan style)
The movie is a massive mash-up of random other movies.. it’s Conan’s revenge plot against a violent sadistic leader (who just happens to kill the mother of the protagonist, decimate the village and drag cona...er Theseus into slavery). Its the mucky, dirty dark Greece of the new Clash of the Titans, along with the awful plastic armour, really anachronistic trousers and overly stylised Hollywood combat. With a touch of The Scorpion King (relationship with the prophetess) thrown in to add a bit of sex to the proceedings.
You know it got to the point where it felt like they were just waving their swords around and throwing buckets of blood across the scene..
I am not sure if it was trying to be some sort of tale about how humans have to do it for themselves the Gods will not do it for them.. or whether it is a humans can spire to be much more than themselves... or what.. it just seemed too loud, to messy, to chaotic and really unimpressive. Even the “final Battle” between the titans and the gods (all 6 of them) is really pathetic.
So yeah. I wouldn’t advise anyone to spend any of their life watching this movie. Even Clash of the Titans is a better movie...
This movie is one of the latter movies.
I have to say that i have absolutely no idea what the point is of this movie.. what so ever... also anyone who says this is a good movie.... has no idea what a good movie is... it’s appalling.
The script is bad, the action is mediocre, The acting.. well the actors are trying their best but really you cannot make silk purses from sows ears.. and seriously this movie has the smell of ham running right through it.
As far as I can understand it this is a giant Revenge movie. Hyperion (Rouke) is a massively effective marauding king, with a penchant for emasculating and deforming his hordes running rampant across Greece?... Hyperion is looking for a epic bow to release the Titans and kill off the Gods... I think.. but while doing this he wants to just kill and hurt everyone he can... in the most epically graphic ways he can...
Seriously.. THIS MOVIE MAKES LITTLE SENSE.
Basic idea is an Oracle sees a vision of Hyperion releasing the titans if he gets hold of the Epirus bow.. shortly after this vision King Hyperion descends upon the Oracle’s temple and trashes the place.. taking her prisoner and brutally dispatching various temple personnel. Meanwhile in a lonely little village somewhere else near the sea. Theseus (Henry Cavill) is randomly training and chatting to an old man (John Hurt). And you know what... it really is not worth me telling you much because it really doesn’t matter... because it makes no sense.
In my recollection of the Theseus legend.. this is the man who bested the minotaur of the Labyrinth... not got into some random scrap over releasing Titans and bringing down the Gods...
Infact all i want to do is rage at this movie... in a major WTF!!!.
The Pantheon of Greek Gods appears to be made up of 7 people... all dressed in weird gold outfits which made them look like Cirque du Soleil do punk during gay pride week. Not only do they not look anything like a Greek of the period.. they don’t even look like a God of the period!.
Then you have Hyperion who makes no sense what so ever.. why would anyone follow this man.. a man who seems to be so bipolar that its painful, he disfigures his men, has them wear gimp masks so they can be “equal” but also likes to emasculate his warriors with a hammer. He also likes to spend a lot of his time just randomly torturing his captives to death (including using a brazen bull) just because.
You have Theseus who as far as i can tell seems to be going nowhere and doing nothing except carrying a big chip on his shoulder because he’s lower than a Plebian because he is the progeny from a rape (gone is the idea that he’s son of Poseidon and Ageaus. He’s just a man with a grudge. Who gets involved because Hyperion kills his mother in front of him (conan style)
The movie is a massive mash-up of random other movies.. it’s Conan’s revenge plot against a violent sadistic leader (who just happens to kill the mother of the protagonist, decimate the village and drag cona...er Theseus into slavery). Its the mucky, dirty dark Greece of the new Clash of the Titans, along with the awful plastic armour, really anachronistic trousers and overly stylised Hollywood combat. With a touch of The Scorpion King (relationship with the prophetess) thrown in to add a bit of sex to the proceedings.
You know it got to the point where it felt like they were just waving their swords around and throwing buckets of blood across the scene..
I am not sure if it was trying to be some sort of tale about how humans have to do it for themselves the Gods will not do it for them.. or whether it is a humans can spire to be much more than themselves... or what.. it just seemed too loud, to messy, to chaotic and really unimpressive. Even the “final Battle” between the titans and the gods (all 6 of them) is really pathetic.
So yeah. I wouldn’t advise anyone to spend any of their life watching this movie. Even Clash of the Titans is a better movie...