Big Fat Baby
Things have been going a little better. While I'm still depressed, the week has been alright to me, so I'm feeling kinda happy right now. And while my mood is deteriorating a little, things are still alright.
My Thanksgiving didn't completely suck. I still hate the holiday, but I had great food. Bread, whine, fried squid, stuffed mushrooms, shrimp, Veil eggplant, veil parmegean chicken, this mushromm chicken, and a big New York cheesecake. It's the first time in three years I can remember really being tired and full on Thanksgiving.
For Thanksgiving, Shantee has been...here...at the house with us. (My dad's girlfriend of eight years.) I'm irritated with living with more than one other person, especially with someone so selfish and hypocritical. Without me sounding biased, she's a manipulative control freak. And kind of the epitome of "bitch." The woman snaps a lot. And yells. Constantly. It's like having another psychotic mother living with me. At least she's intelligent, though. I can respect that about her.
She's selfish, though. The two people who have no vagina in the household have been freezing. The heat can't be turned on because it's bad for her skin. So, I've been sleeping in my room, next to a window, with a pair of jeans and a shirt so I don't shiver throughout the whole night. Sleeping with clothing is so uncomfortable. I'm not sure how people are okay with it. On top of that, last night, I was up for a while listening to her talk so loudly, curse, getting excited. All those wonderful things. I was about to have a fucking heart attack trying to keep it in and not getting annoyed with her. Mainly because whenever she wants to rest or sleep, she complains or gets angry about the noise outside of her room. Whether it's talking too loud, music, or the tv.
So, today, I wasn't feeling great, and it was reflecting on my outer appearance too. So, I just rested and fell asleep for two or three hours today. Shantee was angry, because my tv was on. And, it displeased her. So, I was told to turn it down, (It wasn't on loud to begin with.) I was unnerved that she "commanded" me to. After being kept up for over an hour, listening to her talk so loudly, and she tells me to lower the noise down while she's resting. I didn't lower the noise down, not because I wouldn't have been able to hear it, but because of the hypocrisy.
Things have been alright, socially. I hung out with Morgan. We ate at a dinner, and then she met up with a few friends. They all began smoking...and it's always annoyed me that I'd never tried a cigarette. So I asked for one. After finishing most of it, all the lack of oxygen to the head kinda made me...tipsy. I thought it was pointless. At least alcohol and drugs elevate you. I guess it's a bonding thing.
I watched Morgan and the group dance and flash people and talk. I don't really fit into crowds and I tend to keep to myself. I sat on the bench and was entertained watching them, I guess. But in the middle of the night, I'd realized my idea of a fun night was staying inside with someone and watching a movie, or hanging out and listening to music. I know, I'm full of mystery and so dark. Lets not forget the chick magnet part, either.
Lauren called the next day, and we hung out, listening to music and talking. The week before, we'd gone to South Street and ate Chinese food, and spent a long time looking at the things in Condom Kingdom. The 18 and older section has the best stuff. I had sincerely been wishing I'd been getting laid so I could buy some of that stuff.
But anyway, the night of hanging inside with Lauren, I missed the train. But I ran into Dana and Marisa. For an hour or so we stayed at Dana's place drinking tea and just talking slowly.
Though I'm sick and Shantee's here, and this week is dragging on slowly, things are doing so so.
My Thanksgiving didn't completely suck. I still hate the holiday, but I had great food. Bread, whine, fried squid, stuffed mushrooms, shrimp, Veil eggplant, veil parmegean chicken, this mushromm chicken, and a big New York cheesecake. It's the first time in three years I can remember really being tired and full on Thanksgiving.
For Thanksgiving, Shantee has been...here...at the house with us. (My dad's girlfriend of eight years.) I'm irritated with living with more than one other person, especially with someone so selfish and hypocritical. Without me sounding biased, she's a manipulative control freak. And kind of the epitome of "bitch." The woman snaps a lot. And yells. Constantly. It's like having another psychotic mother living with me. At least she's intelligent, though. I can respect that about her.
She's selfish, though. The two people who have no vagina in the household have been freezing. The heat can't be turned on because it's bad for her skin. So, I've been sleeping in my room, next to a window, with a pair of jeans and a shirt so I don't shiver throughout the whole night. Sleeping with clothing is so uncomfortable. I'm not sure how people are okay with it. On top of that, last night, I was up for a while listening to her talk so loudly, curse, getting excited. All those wonderful things. I was about to have a fucking heart attack trying to keep it in and not getting annoyed with her. Mainly because whenever she wants to rest or sleep, she complains or gets angry about the noise outside of her room. Whether it's talking too loud, music, or the tv.
So, today, I wasn't feeling great, and it was reflecting on my outer appearance too. So, I just rested and fell asleep for two or three hours today. Shantee was angry, because my tv was on. And, it displeased her. So, I was told to turn it down, (It wasn't on loud to begin with.) I was unnerved that she "commanded" me to. After being kept up for over an hour, listening to her talk so loudly, and she tells me to lower the noise down while she's resting. I didn't lower the noise down, not because I wouldn't have been able to hear it, but because of the hypocrisy.
Things have been alright, socially. I hung out with Morgan. We ate at a dinner, and then she met up with a few friends. They all began smoking...and it's always annoyed me that I'd never tried a cigarette. So I asked for one. After finishing most of it, all the lack of oxygen to the head kinda made me...tipsy. I thought it was pointless. At least alcohol and drugs elevate you. I guess it's a bonding thing.
I watched Morgan and the group dance and flash people and talk. I don't really fit into crowds and I tend to keep to myself. I sat on the bench and was entertained watching them, I guess. But in the middle of the night, I'd realized my idea of a fun night was staying inside with someone and watching a movie, or hanging out and listening to music. I know, I'm full of mystery and so dark. Lets not forget the chick magnet part, either.
Lauren called the next day, and we hung out, listening to music and talking. The week before, we'd gone to South Street and ate Chinese food, and spent a long time looking at the things in Condom Kingdom. The 18 and older section has the best stuff. I had sincerely been wishing I'd been getting laid so I could buy some of that stuff.
But anyway, the night of hanging inside with Lauren, I missed the train. But I ran into Dana and Marisa. For an hour or so we stayed at Dana's place drinking tea and just talking slowly.
Though I'm sick and Shantee's here, and this week is dragging on slowly, things are doing so so.