I Could Never Divorce You...
Life has been...uneventful.
I haven't had any human contact, really. No one's physically touched me in days. Which, I suppose is depressing because I think every person has a desire to be touched a few times a day. It's not a sexual reference, just some human contact. A handshake, a hug, toching someone's hand while giving them money, hitting each other. Those things.
And the lack of human contact has made me sexually frustrated. I want sex. Full out sex. Whether it's caring about someone emotionally or not. Right now, any sex would most likely be good sex.
I'm feeling lonely. A little romantically lonely, too. I've been contemplating it. And I miss the feeling, I suppose. I miss the sappiness. I miss holding someone. I miss pressing someone's body against mine, naked. I miss messing around. I miss being serious and "deep". I miss protecting someone. I miss admiring a beauty. I miss someone belonging to me.
All this is a result from just having no human contact at all. It's suddenly made me just feel romantically lonesome. Otherwise, I'd be okay.
I don't want to go to being "asexual" again though. I'd be missing too much from that. But, I don't want to jump straight into something, either.
I just need some form of human contact right now
I hate complainging like this. I sound like such a pussy. But, I suppose, maybe there's good reasoning to it.
Besides, I don't sound like this beyond the structures of the words written in here.
God, the things in this journal. I sound like a fat, ugly kid with acne who's afraid of the world. Thank god I'm so much more quiet and dark in person. I realized. I seem so...angry and anti social in person. Maybe not around certain people or places...but in general, I realized, I look really angry, and sad, and quiet in general. Dare I say, sometimes mysterious when I don't open my mouth and let out all the annoying sounds that come out of it?
Everything I write in here is personal, but at the same time, it seems unlike me. I don't act like this. I just think about it.
I haven't had any human contact, really. No one's physically touched me in days. Which, I suppose is depressing because I think every person has a desire to be touched a few times a day. It's not a sexual reference, just some human contact. A handshake, a hug, toching someone's hand while giving them money, hitting each other. Those things.
And the lack of human contact has made me sexually frustrated. I want sex. Full out sex. Whether it's caring about someone emotionally or not. Right now, any sex would most likely be good sex.
I'm feeling lonely. A little romantically lonely, too. I've been contemplating it. And I miss the feeling, I suppose. I miss the sappiness. I miss holding someone. I miss pressing someone's body against mine, naked. I miss messing around. I miss being serious and "deep". I miss protecting someone. I miss admiring a beauty. I miss someone belonging to me.
All this is a result from just having no human contact at all. It's suddenly made me just feel romantically lonesome. Otherwise, I'd be okay.
I don't want to go to being "asexual" again though. I'd be missing too much from that. But, I don't want to jump straight into something, either.
I just need some form of human contact right now
I hate complainging like this. I sound like such a pussy. But, I suppose, maybe there's good reasoning to it.
Besides, I don't sound like this beyond the structures of the words written in here.
God, the things in this journal. I sound like a fat, ugly kid with acne who's afraid of the world. Thank god I'm so much more quiet and dark in person. I realized. I seem so...angry and anti social in person. Maybe not around certain people or places...but in general, I realized, I look really angry, and sad, and quiet in general. Dare I say, sometimes mysterious when I don't open my mouth and let out all the annoying sounds that come out of it?
Everything I write in here is personal, but at the same time, it seems unlike me. I don't act like this. I just think about it.