(no subject)
Im getting really fucking sick of people treating me like shit
like I'm fucking worthless and dumb.
Like I don't fucking understand.
And I'm sick of feeling like I'm not trusted.
I made a mistake and said one thing to one person.
People treat me like I'm an idiot.
Example: "OH MY GOD ALANNA YOU READ A BOOK?"
yes actually I DO read.I read a LOT.
a lot more than most people do or think.
Sorry I don't carry books around and read them while I walk.
Since new years I've read six books.
Lyke oh mmee gawd.Im litterate.
People think I do bad in school because I can't help it or im dumb.
Yeah so remind be again, who's the one with a $15,000 scholarship to MPH?
Yeah hi that would be me.
I wish people knew what went on in my head.
If you call me a "pothead" or you think that all I do is smoke pot
then eather you're a fucking idiot
or you really really dont know me, but probably think you do.
People think that I wont listen to theire problems
when in fact YES I will
And I'll do my BEST to help.
you think that just because I haven't gone through what you're going through
that I can't possibly in some way, help.
I hate when people make fun of my family.
Saying we're "Rich"....It's the most stupid fucking thing you can do.
yeah SORRY ASSHOLE. It's not MY fault My parents make more money than yours.
It sounds like im bragging but I dont NEED to.
everyone else fucking does it for me.
"oh Alanna you have everything"
"Oh Alanna why don't you call daddy to pick you up on the motorcycle"
um alright I will.
Who's fault is it that you're mommy works for my mommy?
Who's fault is it that My Daddy has 3 more cars than Your daddy?
Who's fault is it that my mommy ACTUALLY took the time to get a degree?
Who's fault is it that MY daddy worked harder than YOUR daddy and therfor makes more money?
WHO'S FAULT IS IT THAT YOUR PARENTS MATE LIKE FUCKING RABBITS AND CAN'T PAY THE RENT BECAUSE YOUR HOUSE IS OVERFLOWING WITH DIRTY INFANTS AND TEENAGERS?
well you know what?
IT'S NOT MINE.
so DONT give me SHIT .
It just makes you look like a Jealous Idiot.
So Don't act like I've had everything handed to me in life because
If you knew me you would NEVER have that notion.
every time someone sais something about the money my parents make
It only makes me HATE them more.
I think I'm going to go back to MPH
I had so many friends there
and I got straight A's....
heh..they go on better feild trips anyway.
If I leave now I might get to go on the spain trip.
I find it kind of funny that
When I went to MPH /i got better grades than my friends who went to Levy.
when MPH is so much harder.
AND on top of that Im Dislexic AND adhd.
people dare fucking call me stupid?
hmm.
maybe they should take a better look at themselves.
This wasn't dirrected at any one person.
It's directed at the attitude people,including my friends, have towards me.
Going over Torri's today...
I really want to hang out with Jalina. =[
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It's kind of sad that I have learned to deal with things like this
Being strong means being heartless
Tell me, how do the scars feel after the wounds heal?
Did it burn when they cauterized?
Did it show that you were hiding HURT inside?
Do your eyes still shine as bright as they did
The days when you were at your best?
Not that you're all alone and feeling sorry for yourself
Did it make sense to lie to me and deceive me like you did?
If you run away from me im not running after you
If you run away from this
dont look back 'cause I'll be gone
If you go
then I'll forget you
when you're gone
I WONT MISS YOU
It's been a long time since I've seen you and longer since we talked
and the last thing that I said was "could you please help me im lost?"
Not im choking on my words
All the things I didn't say that could have made it all Okay.
You want to be down with the down and in
Always copping my truths
I kind of get the feeling like I'm being used
And now I realize that you never heard
One goddamned word I ever said
Losing a whole year
I remember you and me used to spend
every goddamned day liek best friends
I'll Make you take back the lies
And bring the truth to the surface
Clean my slate and erase
All the black you've tried to
Tarnish my name with
This is conviction
What I have inside you could never posses
And because you never understood how I lived
You try to disrespect
I paid my fucking dues
And everything I have in this life
I've made from nothing
I've done this all on my own
That's more than you can say for yourself
You disrespect the way I live
You take apart what I say
You try to judge me
Now I'm judging you
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