the window
ok another lj thats just me reambling but i don't think any reads ljs any more so i guess this is just for me. i never live in the present i always think what is my future going to be. but i know it wont happen i don't take the chancees and thats why i wont have the life i want. i mean i never really live in the first place i just look at it i stay behind the window i don;t dare step out the dorr because i can't take the pain. the bitting wind and cold though there sun some times.i don't know i want it to be summer i feel more free. and i'm going to warped tour this year which is in augasut along ways away but thats all i need to make me happy at the moment i hope i just want to see this one band i think that will make happy for away. it's fall otu boy. i mean there songs just make me happy but when i'm sad there great to listen to. i just feel normal when i have them. i meean i hate life at the moment it bit big time. ok what else in my life o yea i mean after mclean i think i'm not going to keep up on acttin my heart isn't in it any more. i just fit there. i fdon'y fit much any where but whatever. i mean all my friends i have one or two things that we connet one and that y we are friend i think but most everything else doesn't click. i mean for some i connet on acttin so music so books so singin but some i'm not sure.i want to find people i connte better with. imean i was i santa fe just the past weekend and i went to a mall and there was a hot topic there and i went in to find shoes. and there was this girl just turned 19, 20, or 21 not sure. and she had paul frank on and a my chemical romance sweatshirt and her hair was dyed and we jsut strated to talk about paul frank then my shoes with elephants kne them and then this other guy who worked there to came and said how the dumbo movie scared him and how all diseny movie were done by people on crack. and i felt like i fit imean that i didn't have any bad feelings. it was so cool. i loved it i need to find more peole like taht. but then my mom came in the store. i don;t know we llike lieave on two different worlds. my fav color is green she hates it . we jsut sdon't fit. and to top it off she told me that the whole wirtband thing is silly it made me really unhappy i mean i bet a lot of people thinks it weird but what the fuck i don't need to hear it from her. whatever i don't think i'm goin to wear it as much i mean i don't see any one wereing tehn and i feel weird. whever bye for now to any who read this u have more time then i