Ah new years!

[crasaner4life]

New years...a time for making resolutions just so you can break them in the coming year...a time to reflect on the past year...and...yes...a time to get wasted. I did one of the three...yes...I got trashed! that was my way of saying...FUCK all of the shit that happened last year, and FUCK all of the shit I know I'm gonna get myself into in the year to come. I sure did have a pretty shitty year though. I cheated on my boyfriend with a 24 year old; I dated Josh again just to get cheated on...again; I moved to Vermont (not such a bad thing, but shit didn't work out); got drunk, almost screwed a 24-year old who has a girlfriend...then went to work and got picked on bc just about everyone knew i was trashed; I moved to Springfield to sleep on a couch; dropped out of school; I started dating Brandon...thought it was all great till I got cheated on; Went somewhere that I'm not gonna say bc I know people from windsor will know who I'm talking about...screwed someone that I"m ALSO not gonna mention his name...people were awake...my friend found out...thought I had lost him for awhile...started talking to him again...thought I was pregnant...freaked out; found out Mike beat Steph...we moved into her parents house...took a preggy test, came out negative (I took it wrong) got drunk, screwed around with the webcam with steph...did some things we shouldn't have...went to mike's house...a lot of shit happened which is in a past journal...moved back in with Kathi in Springfield; moved back to Maine to live with mom only to drink just about every night; started dating Rob again (not a bad thing, but..)..thought there was a chance I could still be pregnant with that other guys kid, then the day I told Rob, I started my period...figures....; then I got drunk on new years. THat was my fuck ups of the year. There's a lot of 'em. Can't wait to see how many times I can screw up this year! lol...oh well I guess...all I can really do is try to forgive myself for everything that happened. However, that's not very easy. Well...7 more days till my birthday (the 6th)! can't wait...gonna finally be 18. Gonna get my i.d. (a gift from Rob), gonna get my name changed to stacy's last name (a gift from Stacy), and I'm gonna get my tongue peirced (a gift from Christine). Well...I've written a lot...so yeah...guess that's enough...
HAPPY FUCKING 2005 TO EVERYONE!!!!!
~courtney~