Pobre, pobre Fishy...

[crappyappychick]

My roommate had this goldfish...and it was the saddest little fish that anyone in the whole world could hope to see. You could look into his eyes and just see his amoeba brain begging you to let him die. She hadn't cleaned his bowl in forever, the water was so cloudy that if the unfortunate little bastard swam to the middle you couldn't even see him...then...three days ago, I came home and he was swimming at the top of the bowl, his little mouth poking out of the water as he tried to use his gills to grab the oxygen that was just hitting the water's surface. The little fucker was dying...and even though he appeared to be contentedly suicidal, his amphibian brain wouldn't let it go. So I cleaned his bowl, I did everything right so the water wouldn't be toxic, and put him back. Crystal clear water, and Fishy was swimming around like a king...which he was, cause he's the only fish she had (thank goodness)...then Fishy died. I don't know fish CPR, so there really was no hope for the little goldfish. The roommate comes home that night, sees that the fish is dead, and leaves him! He has been sitting there rotting for the past three days and his bowl smells like hot tuna asshole! Who leaves a fish to decompose?! Who does that?! Ariel came over and left a note on the bowl:
Dear Leslie,
     Please flush me. I am currently residing in aquatic purgatory, and I hate you.
Love,
Me

The note's gone. The fish is still there. Wtf?!