Attack of the Giant Mutant Six-legged Formicidae
There are ants in my kitchen. They've been making a steady trail up and down the kitchen counter for about a week, and at first I thought that it was because I don't clean it enough. Indeed, I don't clean it enough. Yet after scrubbing the kitchen counter they persisted. I cried at them, "Why, why do you persist, little ants? Why climb up? Why keep scavenging? Do you believe you're working for something? For more than your survival? Can you tell me what it is? Do you even know? Is it hunger? Or cellular respiration? Perhaps hyperglycemia? Yes? No? Could it be OCD? Illusions! Vagaries of perception. The temporary constructs of a feeble hive-mind trying desperately to justify an existence that is without meaning or purpose. And all of them as artificial as one's own body image, although only insecure teenage girls could invent something as insipid as anorexia nervosa. You must be able to see it, you must know it by now. You can't win. It's pointless to keep coming. Why do you persist?" It was only yesterday that I realized they were going for my jar of maple syrup.
Nevertheless enraged with wrath I descended upon them like the left hand of god. I smote them left and right until my hands were covered in ant blood, and hundreds were crushed beneath my soft quilted quicker picker-upper. Those that survived were dumped into the raging and roaring depths of water in my kitchen sink. Satiated, I watched the horror and carnage that had taken place moments before and silently prayed that there were no six-legged members of the International War Crimes tribunal.
Nevertheless enraged with wrath I descended upon them like the left hand of god. I smote them left and right until my hands were covered in ant blood, and hundreds were crushed beneath my soft quilted quicker picker-upper. Those that survived were dumped into the raging and roaring depths of water in my kitchen sink. Satiated, I watched the horror and carnage that had taken place moments before and silently prayed that there were no six-legged members of the International War Crimes tribunal.