(no subject)
I went to the city with Mike yesterday. We had plans for about 2 months to go see the people from Found Magazine, who are touring the country. We wanted to show them the stuff we found at the trailer park and see if they would do a feature on us. We went. They loved it. We're going to be featured.
Yay.
No, really. I'm extremely excited. I just can't seem to feel anything lately.
It's the year of the Dog.
Apparently it's also the year of the Panic Attack.
While we were walking through Central Park yesterday, I lost all feeling in my legs. I had to sit, I had to walk. I didn't know what to do. I started freaking out. Feeling something terrible was going to happen. My sister called. She's a Psychic. Thought I had to puke and shit and piss all at once. Lightheadedness. Numb. Panic. We had to take a cab back to the apartment where we were staying so I could lay and chill out. I refused to take the subway because I couldn't be near anyone.
About a month ago I had my first panic attack. I thought I was having a heart attack and made my roommate call 911. They all said I was fine. Probably just anxiety.
Just anxiety.
Tonight I tried to go to the Advocate Reader's Appreciation Party. I started getting that feeling of unreality again. Nothing seemed real and I got this fear of going crazy. I came home to calm down. I was watching TV with my roomates and every position in which I sat was completely uncomfortable. I went in my room and started hyperventilating. I started crying uncontrollably. I tried to grasp my phone to call one of my sisters. I talkedc to both of them and they each tried to calm me down. Mind over matter.
In each of these scenarios, I get this feeling that I am going to die or physically fall apart immediately.
Yay.
No, really. I'm extremely excited. I just can't seem to feel anything lately.
It's the year of the Dog.
Apparently it's also the year of the Panic Attack.
While we were walking through Central Park yesterday, I lost all feeling in my legs. I had to sit, I had to walk. I didn't know what to do. I started freaking out. Feeling something terrible was going to happen. My sister called. She's a Psychic. Thought I had to puke and shit and piss all at once. Lightheadedness. Numb. Panic. We had to take a cab back to the apartment where we were staying so I could lay and chill out. I refused to take the subway because I couldn't be near anyone.
About a month ago I had my first panic attack. I thought I was having a heart attack and made my roommate call 911. They all said I was fine. Probably just anxiety.
Just anxiety.
Tonight I tried to go to the Advocate Reader's Appreciation Party. I started getting that feeling of unreality again. Nothing seemed real and I got this fear of going crazy. I came home to calm down. I was watching TV with my roomates and every position in which I sat was completely uncomfortable. I went in my room and started hyperventilating. I started crying uncontrollably. I tried to grasp my phone to call one of my sisters. I talkedc to both of them and they each tried to calm me down. Mind over matter.
In each of these scenarios, I get this feeling that I am going to die or physically fall apart immediately.