Tears (a Lily-Verse Tale) (1/1)
Title: Tears
Author: cranberry_pi
Rating: R for Angst (but if you've read the 'verse before, you know it turns out okay!)
Spoilers: Nope!
Summary: The baby's on the way - but complications with the birth could destroy all of them. Fits between the first and second of Two Untitled Drabbles. Oh, and if you catch the Buffy reference you get a free cookie delivered via the interweb.
Words have power. Rachel Berry, of all people, knows this well. She had used her own words in every conceivable way, mined their power to make people laugh, to make them cry, to light up a room or dim it. But now, standing at her wife’s side as equipment beeped and people in scrubs communicated in hushed tones, she understood that she knew nothing about the power of words. The depth, the texture, the way a single sentence could suck the air out of the room, all but drive her to her knees, leave her praying in a frantic combination of English and the tiny amount of Hebrew she still retained from Temple.
“Doctor - the bleeding’s not stopping.”
It had all been going so well - Quinn had carried Lily to her full term, her water breaking nearly nine months to the minute of their child’s conception. Rachel’s meticulous preparation had them at the hospital in minutes, and the labor had been much faster than it was with Beth. But when Lily was safe in the nurse’s arms, the color had begun to drain from Quinn’s cheeks. She groaned softly, and with the nurse’s words the doctor had sprung into action. Quinn was bleeding - far, far too much to be some normal side-effect of giving birth.
“Rachel,” the doctor wiped her brow, “we need you to leave now.”
“No,” Rachel shook her head. “I’m not leaving her.”
“Rachel, please - we need to work, and you’re only-“
“No!” Rachel shouted. She knew - she didn’t know how she knew, but she knew - that if she left the room then Quinn wouldn’t ever, not alive. The doctor looked at her and sighed.
“Fine. Get up by her head, and if anyone tells you to get out of their way, you do it. Clear?”
“Clear,” Rachel agreed gratefully. She stood at the head of the bed, brushing Quinn’s damp hair away from her forehead.
“Rach,” she murmured. “God, it hurts so much. Please make it stop.”
“It’s okay,” Rachel knew her voice was trembling, and she tried to keep her composure for Quinn’s sake. “The doctor’s looking after it, Quinn, it won’t hurt much longer.”
“It didn’t feel like this with Beth,” Quinn shook her head, her eyes rolling back and then closing. “Why does it hurt so much?”
“Just hold on, Quinn, okay? Just keep talking to me.”
“Look after her,” Quinn whispered, and she didn’t have to specify which “her” she meant.
“Quinn,” Rachel knelt down to whisper in her ear. “You’re not leaving me. You’re not leaving us. You open your eyes, and you look at me, do you understand?”
“I’m trying,” Quinn’s voice was thin and reedy. “I can’t.”
“Quinn,” Rachel protested. “Come on, Quinn, open your eyes. Quinn - baby, please. Open your eyes for me,” she was oblivious to the doctors, the nurses, their frantic ministrations as they endeavoured to save her wife, all she could see was the paleness of Quinn’s face, the lack of movement behind her closed eyelids, and she reached out and slapped her cheek - not hard, but enough to startle her. Her eyes opened, barely, and she looked confused.
“Why’re you hittin’ me?”
“Because you weren’t here anymore. You have to stay here with me.”
“I’m tired,” Quinn argued. “So tired.”
“And soon you can sleep, baby, but not yet, okay? Right now, I need you to stay with me. Keep your eyes open, keep talking to me. When was the first time you kissed me, Quinn?”
“Washroom,” Quinn mumbled. “McKinley.”
“And when was the first time I kissed you?”
“Nationals. After we won.”
“Yes, that’s right! And what song did we sing?”
“Don’ know,” Quinn’s eyes were slipping closed again, and Rachel gave her a shake.
“Why did we name our daughter Lily?”
“’s my grandmother’s name.”
“Did you know Finn wanted to help pick her name?”
“Huh?” Quinn’s eyes were cloudy, tears of pain rolling down her cheeks. “Finn? What’d he-“
“Fizzle,” Rachel was lying through her teeth, just hoping to provoke some sort of reaction.
“What? Idiot,” Quinn was obviously fading, not protesting the stupidity of the name. Rachel squeezed her shoulder.
“Quinn, baby, please don’t go. Please stay with me.”
“Tired,” Quinn sighed. “Rach, ‘m so tired. Just let me sleep.”
“Quinn, no, baby, you can’t! Please, please stay with me.”
“Can’t,” Quinn’s eyes slipped closed. “Love you.”
“Oh god - oh Quinn, I love you so much. I will always, always love you, I can’t do this without you, please don’t go, please!”
Quinn didn’t respond, and from a million miles away there was the sound of an alarm. Rachel began to sob brokenly, laying a hand on Quinn’s warm shoulder. The doctor began to pull her away, but she fought her off. A nurse, standing beside her, knelt down to look her in the eye.
“Miss Berry-”
“Berry-Fabray,” Rachel corrected automatically.
“Rachel,” the nurse took the simpler option. “You need to wait outside now.”
“No - I need to say goodbye, you can’t make me leave without saying goodbye!”
“Rachel, sweetheart, listen - the doctor was trying to tell you. She’s going to be fine - we’ve got the bleeding stopped, and she’s just sleeping now. We need to get her cleaned up, though, and she needs some blood, so we need you to not be in here.”
“She’s okay?” Rachel could scarcely believe her ears.
“She’s okay,” the nurse promised. “She’s going to be just fine.”
Rachel fainted.
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“You jerk!” was the first thing Quinn heard.
“What?”
“You big jerk, you made me think you were going to die, and I’d be here all alone, and I’m so furious with you!”
“Rachel-”
“No, you’re going to listen, Quinn Fabray-”
“I was so scared,” Quinn’s voice was soft, but it cut Rachel’s rant off at the knees. “I really thought I was leaving. Rachel, I don’t want to leave.”
“Oh, sweetheart,” Rachel pulled her up and into a crushing hug. “Quinn, baby, you’re not going anywhere. You’re going to be here with me, always. We’re going to have a long and silly life, and I can’t do that without you here.”
“Is Lily-”
“She’s beautiful, baby. The nurses will bring her in a few minutes. I’m so proud of you.”
“I’m so proud of us,” Quinn corrected. “We did this. And - Rachel, if you hadn’t been there, if you hadn’t kept me awake for so long, I don’t know,” she teared up, unable to finish her sentence.
“Just remember that the next time I keep you awake,” Rachel’s voice caught on the last word, and Quinn’s grip tightened. They cried on each other’s shoulders until their baby girl arrived - and then they cried again, together, a different sort of tears.
Author: cranberry_pi
Rating: R for Angst (but if you've read the 'verse before, you know it turns out okay!)
Spoilers: Nope!
Summary: The baby's on the way - but complications with the birth could destroy all of them. Fits between the first and second of Two Untitled Drabbles. Oh, and if you catch the Buffy reference you get a free cookie delivered via the interweb.
Words have power. Rachel Berry, of all people, knows this well. She had used her own words in every conceivable way, mined their power to make people laugh, to make them cry, to light up a room or dim it. But now, standing at her wife’s side as equipment beeped and people in scrubs communicated in hushed tones, she understood that she knew nothing about the power of words. The depth, the texture, the way a single sentence could suck the air out of the room, all but drive her to her knees, leave her praying in a frantic combination of English and the tiny amount of Hebrew she still retained from Temple.
“Doctor - the bleeding’s not stopping.”
It had all been going so well - Quinn had carried Lily to her full term, her water breaking nearly nine months to the minute of their child’s conception. Rachel’s meticulous preparation had them at the hospital in minutes, and the labor had been much faster than it was with Beth. But when Lily was safe in the nurse’s arms, the color had begun to drain from Quinn’s cheeks. She groaned softly, and with the nurse’s words the doctor had sprung into action. Quinn was bleeding - far, far too much to be some normal side-effect of giving birth.
“Rachel,” the doctor wiped her brow, “we need you to leave now.”
“No,” Rachel shook her head. “I’m not leaving her.”
“Rachel, please - we need to work, and you’re only-“
“No!” Rachel shouted. She knew - she didn’t know how she knew, but she knew - that if she left the room then Quinn wouldn’t ever, not alive. The doctor looked at her and sighed.
“Fine. Get up by her head, and if anyone tells you to get out of their way, you do it. Clear?”
“Clear,” Rachel agreed gratefully. She stood at the head of the bed, brushing Quinn’s damp hair away from her forehead.
“Rach,” she murmured. “God, it hurts so much. Please make it stop.”
“It’s okay,” Rachel knew her voice was trembling, and she tried to keep her composure for Quinn’s sake. “The doctor’s looking after it, Quinn, it won’t hurt much longer.”
“It didn’t feel like this with Beth,” Quinn shook her head, her eyes rolling back and then closing. “Why does it hurt so much?”
“Just hold on, Quinn, okay? Just keep talking to me.”
“Look after her,” Quinn whispered, and she didn’t have to specify which “her” she meant.
“Quinn,” Rachel knelt down to whisper in her ear. “You’re not leaving me. You’re not leaving us. You open your eyes, and you look at me, do you understand?”
“I’m trying,” Quinn’s voice was thin and reedy. “I can’t.”
“Quinn,” Rachel protested. “Come on, Quinn, open your eyes. Quinn - baby, please. Open your eyes for me,” she was oblivious to the doctors, the nurses, their frantic ministrations as they endeavoured to save her wife, all she could see was the paleness of Quinn’s face, the lack of movement behind her closed eyelids, and she reached out and slapped her cheek - not hard, but enough to startle her. Her eyes opened, barely, and she looked confused.
“Why’re you hittin’ me?”
“Because you weren’t here anymore. You have to stay here with me.”
“I’m tired,” Quinn argued. “So tired.”
“And soon you can sleep, baby, but not yet, okay? Right now, I need you to stay with me. Keep your eyes open, keep talking to me. When was the first time you kissed me, Quinn?”
“Washroom,” Quinn mumbled. “McKinley.”
“And when was the first time I kissed you?”
“Nationals. After we won.”
“Yes, that’s right! And what song did we sing?”
“Don’ know,” Quinn’s eyes were slipping closed again, and Rachel gave her a shake.
“Why did we name our daughter Lily?”
“’s my grandmother’s name.”
“Did you know Finn wanted to help pick her name?”
“Huh?” Quinn’s eyes were cloudy, tears of pain rolling down her cheeks. “Finn? What’d he-“
“Fizzle,” Rachel was lying through her teeth, just hoping to provoke some sort of reaction.
“What? Idiot,” Quinn was obviously fading, not protesting the stupidity of the name. Rachel squeezed her shoulder.
“Quinn, baby, please don’t go. Please stay with me.”
“Tired,” Quinn sighed. “Rach, ‘m so tired. Just let me sleep.”
“Quinn, no, baby, you can’t! Please, please stay with me.”
“Can’t,” Quinn’s eyes slipped closed. “Love you.”
“Oh god - oh Quinn, I love you so much. I will always, always love you, I can’t do this without you, please don’t go, please!”
Quinn didn’t respond, and from a million miles away there was the sound of an alarm. Rachel began to sob brokenly, laying a hand on Quinn’s warm shoulder. The doctor began to pull her away, but she fought her off. A nurse, standing beside her, knelt down to look her in the eye.
“Miss Berry-”
“Berry-Fabray,” Rachel corrected automatically.
“Rachel,” the nurse took the simpler option. “You need to wait outside now.”
“No - I need to say goodbye, you can’t make me leave without saying goodbye!”
“Rachel, sweetheart, listen - the doctor was trying to tell you. She’s going to be fine - we’ve got the bleeding stopped, and she’s just sleeping now. We need to get her cleaned up, though, and she needs some blood, so we need you to not be in here.”
“She’s okay?” Rachel could scarcely believe her ears.
“She’s okay,” the nurse promised. “She’s going to be just fine.”
Rachel fainted.
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“You jerk!” was the first thing Quinn heard.
“What?”
“You big jerk, you made me think you were going to die, and I’d be here all alone, and I’m so furious with you!”
“Rachel-”
“No, you’re going to listen, Quinn Fabray-”
“I was so scared,” Quinn’s voice was soft, but it cut Rachel’s rant off at the knees. “I really thought I was leaving. Rachel, I don’t want to leave.”
“Oh, sweetheart,” Rachel pulled her up and into a crushing hug. “Quinn, baby, you’re not going anywhere. You’re going to be here with me, always. We’re going to have a long and silly life, and I can’t do that without you here.”
“Is Lily-”
“She’s beautiful, baby. The nurses will bring her in a few minutes. I’m so proud of you.”
“I’m so proud of us,” Quinn corrected. “We did this. And - Rachel, if you hadn’t been there, if you hadn’t kept me awake for so long, I don’t know,” she teared up, unable to finish her sentence.
“Just remember that the next time I keep you awake,” Rachel’s voice caught on the last word, and Quinn’s grip tightened. They cried on each other’s shoulders until their baby girl arrived - and then they cried again, together, a different sort of tears.