I won't lie
I do feel a little used. I guess I just don't understand it. I don't understand the need for him, or the need to wake up in the middle of the night to go hang out with him. And what's weird is that I can't seem to get away. No matter which path my mind wanders down, it all leads back to her. So I'm kinda screwed. But I can't stay in this holding pattern for too long, cause it hurts too much and to be honest, it diminishes how I feel about her to know what's going on. Maybe that's the ultimate way out. Maybe I'm supposed to just keep hearing about Doug until I can't stand it any more and that's how it ends. Maybe I'm supposed to keep feeding her and taking care of her so she can leave to hang out with him until I just can't take it and feel nothing for her? Maybe. All I know is when she said "You're the only one I kiss like this" and I replied that I wanted to be the only one she kissed, when she frowned at me I could feel my stomach knot up. I don't know what's going on...