Who's behind all these faces in the mist?
Sometimes I wish things had been different. Sometimes I wish I hadn't been betrayed by almost everyone I've ever known, and sometimes I wish I knew how to trust people and let go of the past. On the other hand, my distrust of most people is probably what has kept me alive/out of jail until now. I hate how jealous I get, how angry I get, how I can't ever fully forget anything. Sometimes I wish my mind were a hard-drive, so that I could just wipe it clean...
The good news is that the skin on my back has grown thick and leathery in anticipation of the next blade, and let downs are much less painful than they used to be, much rarer as well. I don't know why I get so jealous and angry, but I wish I could quit it and let go of things. I wish my mind weren't so active in plotting out the imaginary courses of people actions, both past and future.
If one is self-aware, what does it matter what other people do? Is it possible to actually find an equilibrium within your own soul? The saying goes: "no man is an island," but is it true that no matter what we do we are at least in some level dependent on each other? If that were the case it would explain the sort of 'hive mind' cults and extremist factions display, but what of the general populace?
If we really are highly interdependant as a species, how is it that individuals can survive alone when lost at sea or marooned on islands or alone in the wilderness? What trigger is it that turns off the absolute need for human interaction and allows for survival despite complete isolation? Could one find and isolate that trigger within their own consciousness? If so, would that person be happier and better off alone? One would certainly have less to be suspicious off, less to worry about and distrust. Would that person begin to sabotage himself to simulate the action of being betrayed by others? It can be supposed that a human being left completely alone might even develop another consciousness in order to create some sort of companionship, be it adversarial or friendly.
If it is true that humanity is absolutely dependent upon interaction within the species, that leads one to assume that a hive mind would be in place, as anything with a true consciousness would find companionship within the same species unneccessary. If that were the case, where is our hive mind? Could we be simply a colony of ants without a queen, running rampant without purpose or direction? Or is it possible that the hive mind is in existence and we have simply grown beyond it's constraints? One is led to the conclusion that there is no hive mind for our species and we simply have bonded with each other so much that a requirement for human interaction has been bred into our genetic makeup.
If that's the case, why is it that we are drawn so much to so many negative interactions? With so much backstabbing and distrust and heartbreak, why do we feel compelled to return again and again and again to the same source of pain? Are we a species of oroborous, willfully causing our own pain and destruction because we think it somehow insures a future for our species? One could suppose, if that is true, that simply from an evolutionary and survival standpoint we have grown too intelligent, too self-aware. Does our consciousness not actually detract from the entire species ability to survive? That theory would explain suicides, murders, wars, and the like. It would appear that the only real answer to that question is "yes." Our intelligence had grown to a level where we no longer possess basic survival instincts and instead depend on both other humans and our own creations for survival, but in depending on other humans we have thrown ourselves into a large masochistic loop that it seems only an event of catastrophic proportions would be able to break...
The good news is that the skin on my back has grown thick and leathery in anticipation of the next blade, and let downs are much less painful than they used to be, much rarer as well. I don't know why I get so jealous and angry, but I wish I could quit it and let go of things. I wish my mind weren't so active in plotting out the imaginary courses of people actions, both past and future.
If one is self-aware, what does it matter what other people do? Is it possible to actually find an equilibrium within your own soul? The saying goes: "no man is an island," but is it true that no matter what we do we are at least in some level dependent on each other? If that were the case it would explain the sort of 'hive mind' cults and extremist factions display, but what of the general populace?
If we really are highly interdependant as a species, how is it that individuals can survive alone when lost at sea or marooned on islands or alone in the wilderness? What trigger is it that turns off the absolute need for human interaction and allows for survival despite complete isolation? Could one find and isolate that trigger within their own consciousness? If so, would that person be happier and better off alone? One would certainly have less to be suspicious off, less to worry about and distrust. Would that person begin to sabotage himself to simulate the action of being betrayed by others? It can be supposed that a human being left completely alone might even develop another consciousness in order to create some sort of companionship, be it adversarial or friendly.
If it is true that humanity is absolutely dependent upon interaction within the species, that leads one to assume that a hive mind would be in place, as anything with a true consciousness would find companionship within the same species unneccessary. If that were the case, where is our hive mind? Could we be simply a colony of ants without a queen, running rampant without purpose or direction? Or is it possible that the hive mind is in existence and we have simply grown beyond it's constraints? One is led to the conclusion that there is no hive mind for our species and we simply have bonded with each other so much that a requirement for human interaction has been bred into our genetic makeup.
If that's the case, why is it that we are drawn so much to so many negative interactions? With so much backstabbing and distrust and heartbreak, why do we feel compelled to return again and again and again to the same source of pain? Are we a species of oroborous, willfully causing our own pain and destruction because we think it somehow insures a future for our species? One could suppose, if that is true, that simply from an evolutionary and survival standpoint we have grown too intelligent, too self-aware. Does our consciousness not actually detract from the entire species ability to survive? That theory would explain suicides, murders, wars, and the like. It would appear that the only real answer to that question is "yes." Our intelligence had grown to a level where we no longer possess basic survival instincts and instead depend on both other humans and our own creations for survival, but in depending on other humans we have thrown ourselves into a large masochistic loop that it seems only an event of catastrophic proportions would be able to break...