hard pill to swallow...
College is coming up pretty quick and I am soooo excited. I'm glad that shaina is seriously considering going to santa fe and then we can live together. That makes me feel a lot better than I was. I thought I would get a horrible roommate with someone I don't even know and be completely alone. But now I have hope. The one thing that I don't have hopw for lately is my relationship with harvey.... he cares about only himself lately. he also thinks that i'll forgive him for hurting me over and over x10 again and he can brush it aside the next day and everything is alright. i can't stand that he thinks that not calling me and not coming over when he's supposed to or treating me like he has been lately, is going to help us get through me going away in a few months.... i really hate it.... i'm not one for telling my problems to the world or wearing them on a shirt, but i mean i wanna speak my mind because it makes me so mad. he called a few minutes ago and was acting like he usually does.... he tells me oh i wanna come over so that i can spend time with you tomorrow.... i hate to tell him that I don't really want him here cuz he'll act like the world is absolutely wonderful and that he didn't not come over on tuesday like he was supposed to or that he always calls when he's supposed to. I mean really! oh but he has a wonderful time with his friends all the while i'm at home waiting for him to call. he acted surprised that i was at shaina's today instead of at home . hello! i have a life! i'm tired of it really i have no idea what is wrong with him! who does he think he is to treat me that way. i have two days off from school and i hung out with him for a few hours on monday and that's it. he gives me the reason that everything is going wrong in his life and he's taking it out on me. well guess what nothing has gone completely as planned since we started going out over 2 years ago! NOTHING!!!!!!!!! just cuz he has bad luck worse than anyone else in the world, doesn't mean that he has to take it out on me! hello! i didn't do a damn thing! that is my hard pill to swallow cuz i'm not sure how much longer i can deal with this. I don't even know him anymore! the harvey that i knew was sweet and caring and whenever he said he was going to do somthing he damn well busted his butt to get it done no matter what obstacle he had to overcome. he was a man and he would put many before himself. he also called anytime he was thinking about me or even just to say i love you.... where did this man go? no one knows! maybe i should call 911 or post an ad up on missing persons.....