Like a Prayer (Siwon's Birthday Fic) - Sihan
Title: Like a Prayer (Siwon’s Birthday fic)
Author: craiglockdhart
Pairings: Sihan
Rating: NC17 for mentions of religion and sex
Warnings: !religion, !religion, !religion
Summary: Siwon muses on life, love and the Lord
Inspired by this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajBR0dq0XXk
Jesus loves me yes I know
Cause the Bible tells me so
Little ones to him belong
We are weak but He is strong
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me for the Bible tells me so.
For as long as I can remember there have been certain rules to life. For instance, when I get up, I brush my teeth. I take breakfast. I dress impeccably in my starched uniform. I wait for the driver to take me to school. I stand in line orderly at assembly. I always greet my teachers. I always smile. I am always polite. I do all my homework and I never get into trouble. I go to Church every Sunday, I pray daily, spending time before bed on my knees. I hit the gym on routine with discipline and grit. I graduate with sterling results and with my stunning good looks I am recruited into an industry that runs almost entirely on appearances. My parents object, and by pure resilience and hard work I prove to them what I’m made of. I become a wildly successful boy-band member, singing and dancing, and later on known for my acting chops. We have a bunch of sellout concerts. My life is perfect. I’m Mr. Perfect Choi Siwon.
God has been good to me. I suppose that’s why I have it easier than others on the subject of keeping my faith. I was convinced that God could change the lives of others too, that’s why I keep trying to spread the word, to make His name known.
Proverbs 30:18-19
There are three things that amaze me-
no, four things that I don’t understand:
how an eagle glides through the sky,
how a snake slithers on a rock,
how a ship navigates the ocean,
how a man loves a woman
Super Junior - The 12, now 14 of them were the start of the rest of my life. The world I dreamed of outside of my family. Brothers - almost all of them were Christian, and I was glad for that, comfortable too. I dreamt of adventures all over the world, spreading the word throughout regions, bringing joy to others by performing. 14 friends that I found and would remember for the rest of my life. And success followed us too, by His great blessing.
It was as though God put these wonderful souls in my life for a purpose.
What I never bargained for was the first tribulation of my young life - My own sinful desires
1 Corinthians 13:1-8a and 13
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails....
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Hankyung - Geng is love personified. He has no religion - it seemed his faith only lies in himself and the goodness of the world. He does not place unnecessarily high hopes or expectations on others, yet always fulfills what he promises. And love - his love for everything in this world, his friends, his home country, his people, children, pets, people he hardly knows… He weeps for victims of a disaster at home and when he misses his parents, yet not once has he cried for the turmoils that life posed him. How could someone so impossibly flawless not be a man of God?
He spoke a tongue different from my own, yet mercifully we had some study of the other’s language. I extended help to him when he arrived from his land, hesitant, shy and struggling with both language and customs. He had come to chase a dream - though extraordinarily far. He paid me back in kind when we were told to go back to his native land to perform and develop. “You’re part of the family now”, he declared when we visited his home. And the photo I have of the two of us in his home with his relatives is still kept with me all the time.
It is too easy to fall in love with the human form of love - a fallen angel who has temporarily loses the use of his wings. Yet he guards you, protects you, believes in you and always stands by you. And when he is finally able to soar, to ride upon the clouds again, you find him holding you, taking you on a tour of the sky, never letting you slip.
Does it matter if my angel is a man like myself, when he is a man after my own heart?
Song of Solomon 8:6
Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.
All my life the sin of jealousy had only been committed against me, never by me. I had everything a person could ask for - wealth, love, intellect and beauty.
And for Geng I envied.
I envied how Heechul and Geng were impossibly close despite their language barrier and stark personality differences. I felt displeasure course through me when Heechul teased Geng, almost flirtatiously. I was jealous when he took the two new members of the flock in like a mother hen would take to her young. And for him I became childishly possessive, taking every chance to drape myself over him, to embrace him, to comfort him and to be the first he turned to in times of difficulty.
And for the first time in my life I felt my heart do a dance for joy when my affections were reciprocated. If happiness was being Mr. Perfect Choi, then I would have given up every shade of perfection in my life to experience the sheer bliss of being in the presence of this man.
1 Peter 4:8
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
I am a sinner, for the first two decades of my life were kept pure, chaste and in perfect order. The decision to leave order for chaos was the most difficult decision, but also the most fulfilling one. I had made all the right choices in life - most of them paths decided my my parents. But the choice to find myself - to be perfectly honest and choose imperfection, was what I am still most proud of.
But this is love, I cannot hide it, and it pains me to ignore it.
And if it were possible to die from too much joy, then I think I might have spontaneously combusted when he replied, “Yes, I will, and I love you too.”
Till now hearing the three words escape his mouth sends shivers down my spine and sets my heart upon a little dance again.
Song of Solomon 1:2
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth- for your love is more delightful than wine.
Have you ever tasted the lips of an angel?
His lips taste of the sweetest wine - mildly intoxicating, enticing you to take in even more and more of his special scent. His lips part when they call my name, sweetly as “Shiyuan” rings in my ear repeatedly as I enter him. He feels warm around me, a sharp contrast to the cool air as our perspiration mingles. We fit perfectly into each other, our bodies moving together as though they were born to do so, losing ourselves in that inebriating friction. No, nothing has ever tasted this good.
If You had intended for the power to give and withhold pleasure at whim, to be held only by Eve, such that Adam could fall so deeply into her each time, then -
Forgive me Lord, for I have sinned.
1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
I am Choi Siwon.
I am a singer, a dancer, an actor and a face that thousands all over the world look up to. I am also a child of the God who has taught us to love unconditionally, even thy neighbor. In this world I am a star that shines brightly, in His hand I am but a tiny insignificant speck.
Yet I am convinced that the man up there must love me, condone my wrongs, understand my predicament. For the world’s wildest beauty lies before my eyes, and I cannot fight the need to possess it, to lose myself in it.
I belong to one who is beautiful, kind and lovely in every sense of the word. His heart is so good it knows no evil or prejudice. There is no way I can ever describe my love for the one guardian angel God has so graciously bestowed upon me. He is a diamond in the rough, a person after my own heart and the purest of souls, on this earth so polluted by vice.
He is not borne of my rib like woman was made, for if he were a mere bone in me I would not feel myself asphyxiate even at the thought of losing him. He is my lungs, my heart, my soul and the passion that courses through my veins - the drug they call love.
Above all else, he is a man - only human, as I am. A man I am deeply in love with, and for us, I shall have no fear.
1 John 4:8
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
For if I cannot take you through Heaven’s gates into God’s kingdom for eternity, I am quite happy to stay outside those same gates, as long as you afford me the greatest honor in holding your hand forever.
And may the Lord's blessings be upon you, Choi Siwon and your brothers forever.
Author: craiglockdhart
Pairings: Sihan
Rating: NC17 for mentions of religion and sex
Warnings: !religion, !religion, !religion
Summary: Siwon muses on life, love and the Lord
Inspired by this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajBR0dq0XXk
Jesus loves me yes I know
Cause the Bible tells me so
Little ones to him belong
We are weak but He is strong
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me for the Bible tells me so.
For as long as I can remember there have been certain rules to life. For instance, when I get up, I brush my teeth. I take breakfast. I dress impeccably in my starched uniform. I wait for the driver to take me to school. I stand in line orderly at assembly. I always greet my teachers. I always smile. I am always polite. I do all my homework and I never get into trouble. I go to Church every Sunday, I pray daily, spending time before bed on my knees. I hit the gym on routine with discipline and grit. I graduate with sterling results and with my stunning good looks I am recruited into an industry that runs almost entirely on appearances. My parents object, and by pure resilience and hard work I prove to them what I’m made of. I become a wildly successful boy-band member, singing and dancing, and later on known for my acting chops. We have a bunch of sellout concerts. My life is perfect. I’m Mr. Perfect Choi Siwon.
God has been good to me. I suppose that’s why I have it easier than others on the subject of keeping my faith. I was convinced that God could change the lives of others too, that’s why I keep trying to spread the word, to make His name known.
Proverbs 30:18-19
There are three things that amaze me-
no, four things that I don’t understand:
how an eagle glides through the sky,
how a snake slithers on a rock,
how a ship navigates the ocean,
how a man loves a woman
Super Junior - The 12, now 14 of them were the start of the rest of my life. The world I dreamed of outside of my family. Brothers - almost all of them were Christian, and I was glad for that, comfortable too. I dreamt of adventures all over the world, spreading the word throughout regions, bringing joy to others by performing. 14 friends that I found and would remember for the rest of my life. And success followed us too, by His great blessing.
It was as though God put these wonderful souls in my life for a purpose.
What I never bargained for was the first tribulation of my young life - My own sinful desires
1 Corinthians 13:1-8a and 13
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails....
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Hankyung - Geng is love personified. He has no religion - it seemed his faith only lies in himself and the goodness of the world. He does not place unnecessarily high hopes or expectations on others, yet always fulfills what he promises. And love - his love for everything in this world, his friends, his home country, his people, children, pets, people he hardly knows… He weeps for victims of a disaster at home and when he misses his parents, yet not once has he cried for the turmoils that life posed him. How could someone so impossibly flawless not be a man of God?
He spoke a tongue different from my own, yet mercifully we had some study of the other’s language. I extended help to him when he arrived from his land, hesitant, shy and struggling with both language and customs. He had come to chase a dream - though extraordinarily far. He paid me back in kind when we were told to go back to his native land to perform and develop. “You’re part of the family now”, he declared when we visited his home. And the photo I have of the two of us in his home with his relatives is still kept with me all the time.
It is too easy to fall in love with the human form of love - a fallen angel who has temporarily loses the use of his wings. Yet he guards you, protects you, believes in you and always stands by you. And when he is finally able to soar, to ride upon the clouds again, you find him holding you, taking you on a tour of the sky, never letting you slip.
Does it matter if my angel is a man like myself, when he is a man after my own heart?
Song of Solomon 8:6
Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.
All my life the sin of jealousy had only been committed against me, never by me. I had everything a person could ask for - wealth, love, intellect and beauty.
And for Geng I envied.
I envied how Heechul and Geng were impossibly close despite their language barrier and stark personality differences. I felt displeasure course through me when Heechul teased Geng, almost flirtatiously. I was jealous when he took the two new members of the flock in like a mother hen would take to her young. And for him I became childishly possessive, taking every chance to drape myself over him, to embrace him, to comfort him and to be the first he turned to in times of difficulty.
And for the first time in my life I felt my heart do a dance for joy when my affections were reciprocated. If happiness was being Mr. Perfect Choi, then I would have given up every shade of perfection in my life to experience the sheer bliss of being in the presence of this man.
1 Peter 4:8
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
I am a sinner, for the first two decades of my life were kept pure, chaste and in perfect order. The decision to leave order for chaos was the most difficult decision, but also the most fulfilling one. I had made all the right choices in life - most of them paths decided my my parents. But the choice to find myself - to be perfectly honest and choose imperfection, was what I am still most proud of.
But this is love, I cannot hide it, and it pains me to ignore it.
And if it were possible to die from too much joy, then I think I might have spontaneously combusted when he replied, “Yes, I will, and I love you too.”
Till now hearing the three words escape his mouth sends shivers down my spine and sets my heart upon a little dance again.
Song of Solomon 1:2
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth- for your love is more delightful than wine.
Have you ever tasted the lips of an angel?
His lips taste of the sweetest wine - mildly intoxicating, enticing you to take in even more and more of his special scent. His lips part when they call my name, sweetly as “Shiyuan” rings in my ear repeatedly as I enter him. He feels warm around me, a sharp contrast to the cool air as our perspiration mingles. We fit perfectly into each other, our bodies moving together as though they were born to do so, losing ourselves in that inebriating friction. No, nothing has ever tasted this good.
If You had intended for the power to give and withhold pleasure at whim, to be held only by Eve, such that Adam could fall so deeply into her each time, then -
Forgive me Lord, for I have sinned.
1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
I am Choi Siwon.
I am a singer, a dancer, an actor and a face that thousands all over the world look up to. I am also a child of the God who has taught us to love unconditionally, even thy neighbor. In this world I am a star that shines brightly, in His hand I am but a tiny insignificant speck.
Yet I am convinced that the man up there must love me, condone my wrongs, understand my predicament. For the world’s wildest beauty lies before my eyes, and I cannot fight the need to possess it, to lose myself in it.
I belong to one who is beautiful, kind and lovely in every sense of the word. His heart is so good it knows no evil or prejudice. There is no way I can ever describe my love for the one guardian angel God has so graciously bestowed upon me. He is a diamond in the rough, a person after my own heart and the purest of souls, on this earth so polluted by vice.
He is not borne of my rib like woman was made, for if he were a mere bone in me I would not feel myself asphyxiate even at the thought of losing him. He is my lungs, my heart, my soul and the passion that courses through my veins - the drug they call love.
Above all else, he is a man - only human, as I am. A man I am deeply in love with, and for us, I shall have no fear.
1 John 4:8
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
For if I cannot take you through Heaven’s gates into God’s kingdom for eternity, I am quite happy to stay outside those same gates, as long as you afford me the greatest honor in holding your hand forever.
And may the Lord's blessings be upon you, Choi Siwon and your brothers forever.