It's best not to think about your nightmares today.
Unlike all the other films I've watched this week, I had ample opportunity to see Wes Craven's My Soul to Take when it was in theaters last fall. I just gave it a pass because the general consensus seemed to be that it was one best left alone. I have no qualms about getting it from the library and watching it for free, though. Much has been made of the fact that this is the first feature Craven has written and directed since Wes Craven's New Nightmare in 1994, but just because he originated the project that doesn't mean it's particularly original. In fact, he borrows liberally from his own A Nightmare on Elm Street (the reboot of which he oversaw last year) and the Scream series (which he and Kevin Williamson are bringing into the age of Facebook and Twitter this year). For the most part, though, he appears to have gathered together as many legends and stories about birds, souls and death as he could find and thrown them haphazardly into one screenplay in the hopes that something would stick. Sadly, little does.
Now, this is usually the point in my reviews where, if I haven't done so already, I start describing the plot and identifying the actors and their characters and so forth, but frankly I just can't be bothered. My Soul to Take is so utterly generic and forgettable, I'd much rather spend the rest of this paragraph ripping on Craven's barely functional dialogue. You could throw a stone in just about any scene and you'd probably hit somebody spouting reams and reams of exposition. The absolute worst, though, is when Craven tries to get too clever. Take for example the moment where the ultra-religious teenager says, "God hears you, wherever you are. If things get too hot, just turn on the prayer-conditioning." Geez, did Diablo Cody do an uncredited script polish? If so, I think she owes Craven a refund, just like he probably owes one to anybody who had the misfortune to see this in a theater -- especially if they paid the jacked-up price to see it in 3-D. When will filmmakers learn that you can't slap a 3-D conversion on any film and expect audiences to flock to it? Not soon enough, I'll bet.