Fireworks!
been a while since last time I posted...mainly because nothing much has happened. But that has changed...Halloween was on Friday and me, pewsey and annym went to the keller to rock out...only, not much rocking out was done tbh. annym didnt want to be left alone for the night...she also didnt want to dance...at all...which meant that I wasnt allowed to dance...whats the point in going to the keller and not "dancing" I put dancing in the "dancing" phrase because I have to admit...it isnt quite dancing...but its awesome nonetheless
After the keller was Ash's halloween party, which went alot better than the keller in my view, it was everyone we knew playing a drinking game and just chatting really...but then everyone started to leave and it started to get alot worse than i thought...
Put it this way I would had stayed the night...it was my intention to stay...but then shit happened and I found myself walking back home, alone, at 4 in the morning. I'm not going to discuss what happened...mainly because there is nothing that anyone can do about it now and tbh, the things that hurt me the most never escape my mind...i dont share these things with anyone, for good reason...I hate feeling weak and I hate others seeing my biggest weakness of all....It hurt me though, thats all I'm going to say, well, that and the fact that I dont even know why it hurt me...its a mystery to me, but it hit home and stung like hell!
I usually think about leaving England and trying to find a place where I'd be better off...have a new start where people cant judge me by my past and by shit rumours that fucked up people spread about me. Now that I feel I've been betrayed by one reason I havent yet left...I've been pushed to think about it even more...I really cant take this shit anymore...its fucking up my head and drilling a hole through my heart
One thing that humoured me when I did get back from Ash's house was the fact that I'd somehow became in possession of annym's work keys...no idea how that happened but it did. I haent told her yet...dont intend to unless she ask's...I just found it funny thinking that she'd waste her time searching high and low for them at Ash's house when all along they would be at mine. I wonder if they are that important for her to do her job?
Anyways, I'm now in work...again...and I'm doing a 10 hour shift...again...9-7, there goes my day...another reason to push me away from staying here...
After the keller was Ash's halloween party, which went alot better than the keller in my view, it was everyone we knew playing a drinking game and just chatting really...but then everyone started to leave and it started to get alot worse than i thought...
Put it this way I would had stayed the night...it was my intention to stay...but then shit happened and I found myself walking back home, alone, at 4 in the morning. I'm not going to discuss what happened...mainly because there is nothing that anyone can do about it now and tbh, the things that hurt me the most never escape my mind...i dont share these things with anyone, for good reason...I hate feeling weak and I hate others seeing my biggest weakness of all....It hurt me though, thats all I'm going to say, well, that and the fact that I dont even know why it hurt me...its a mystery to me, but it hit home and stung like hell!
I usually think about leaving England and trying to find a place where I'd be better off...have a new start where people cant judge me by my past and by shit rumours that fucked up people spread about me. Now that I feel I've been betrayed by one reason I havent yet left...I've been pushed to think about it even more...I really cant take this shit anymore...its fucking up my head and drilling a hole through my heart
One thing that humoured me when I did get back from Ash's house was the fact that I'd somehow became in possession of annym's work keys...no idea how that happened but it did. I haent told her yet...dont intend to unless she ask's...I just found it funny thinking that she'd waste her time searching high and low for them at Ash's house when all along they would be at mine. I wonder if they are that important for her to do her job?
Anyways, I'm now in work...again...and I'm doing a 10 hour shift...again...9-7, there goes my day...another reason to push me away from staying here...