AvP LOL
Last night, I watched Alien vs. Predator. Let me start this quasi-review by saying that, yes, Virginia, it was not a good movie.
However. I liked it. It's one of those rare movies where its (many, many) defects worked in its favor. The characters are cardboard at best, and have few real personalities. Which is great, because (SPOILER ALERT) almost all of them die.
I mean, look. It's called Alien vs. Predator. It's very hard to have much in the way of expectations beyond "there are Aliens and Predators and they fight." There's a little bit else going on, like Weyland Industries being a precursor to Weyland-Yutani in the Alien films, and some Chariots of the Gods kind of stuff with some ancient cultures, but really.
The film does a few, um, interesting things with the two franchises, though. Firstly, it changes the perception of the Predators. Based on the two previous movies in that series, The Predators basically seemed like this race of alien hunters, individuals of which would occasionally (well, twice) come to Earth and cause a ruckus. That's fine. Nothing wrong with that.
But now, one group/faction/set of them come to Earth every 100 years [why do visiting aliens like round base-ten numbers so much?], and they''ve been worshipped by the Aztecs and Egyptians and whatnot. Okay. Fine.
Oh, and part of that involves letting loose a bunch of Aliens for them to kill.
Stop right there, Movie. That doesn't jibe especially well with the Alien series; though that franchise is a bit claustrophic and vague about its wider millieu (government, scope of Human exploration, knowledge of alien life, existence of current alien cultures, technology levels, etc.). But there's no outright contradiction, so I'll let it slide.
But the Predators being Alien ranchers, with Earth cities/areas sometimes being some kind of game preserve? That seems odd, especially since the Predators don't stick around or anything.
Back to the movie. The effects were mostly okay. Some parts were pretty bad. There was an Italian guy and Lance Henriksen and a bunch of other characters that kind blurr together and probably have names I don't remember. Yawn.
The dialogue wasn't, I dunno, Quentin Tarantino terrible, just... unremarkable and bland. The Predators didn't get subtitles or intelligible speech, which was great, because they didn't seem like very skilled conversationalists either.
Overall, it seemed like a tie-in. You know, a prequel novel or comic book that sets some things up, but doesn't have anything actually important, since that's all in the movie itself. It's just kind of pointless-- no one on Earth except for (SPOILER ALERT) what'shername, the only Human survivor knows about the Aliens or Predators at the end, the Predators leave, Weyland Industries isn't (apparently) the Ginormous Evil Megacorporation it evolves into by the future time of Alien; CEO Lance Henriksen was pretty sick anyway, nobody from the other Predator movies (well, of the human cast, at least) was involved. I mean, yeah, it's a crossover, and crossovers by their nature are tricksy things, but still.
Oh, and the very end sets up the (SPOILER ALERT) Predalien for the sequel.
I guess the real question is, why have I watched all this far through both franchises? It's not like I'm out of movies or anything. None of the films are horrible, but none are all that good. Why do I bother?
Why? Why?
The other semi-notable thing is that this is the second thing I've seen with a character called "Grid."
However. I liked it. It's one of those rare movies where its (many, many) defects worked in its favor. The characters are cardboard at best, and have few real personalities. Which is great, because (SPOILER ALERT) almost all of them die.
I mean, look. It's called Alien vs. Predator. It's very hard to have much in the way of expectations beyond "there are Aliens and Predators and they fight." There's a little bit else going on, like Weyland Industries being a precursor to Weyland-Yutani in the Alien films, and some Chariots of the Gods kind of stuff with some ancient cultures, but really.
The film does a few, um, interesting things with the two franchises, though. Firstly, it changes the perception of the Predators. Based on the two previous movies in that series, The Predators basically seemed like this race of alien hunters, individuals of which would occasionally (well, twice) come to Earth and cause a ruckus. That's fine. Nothing wrong with that.
But now, one group/faction/set of them come to Earth every 100 years [why do visiting aliens like round base-ten numbers so much?], and they''ve been worshipped by the Aztecs and Egyptians and whatnot. Okay. Fine.
Oh, and part of that involves letting loose a bunch of Aliens for them to kill.
Stop right there, Movie. That doesn't jibe especially well with the Alien series; though that franchise is a bit claustrophic and vague about its wider millieu (government, scope of Human exploration, knowledge of alien life, existence of current alien cultures, technology levels, etc.). But there's no outright contradiction, so I'll let it slide.
But the Predators being Alien ranchers, with Earth cities/areas sometimes being some kind of game preserve? That seems odd, especially since the Predators don't stick around or anything.
Back to the movie. The effects were mostly okay. Some parts were pretty bad. There was an Italian guy and Lance Henriksen and a bunch of other characters that kind blurr together and probably have names I don't remember. Yawn.
The dialogue wasn't, I dunno, Quentin Tarantino terrible, just... unremarkable and bland. The Predators didn't get subtitles or intelligible speech, which was great, because they didn't seem like very skilled conversationalists either.
Overall, it seemed like a tie-in. You know, a prequel novel or comic book that sets some things up, but doesn't have anything actually important, since that's all in the movie itself. It's just kind of pointless-- no one on Earth except for (SPOILER ALERT) what'shername, the only Human survivor knows about the Aliens or Predators at the end, the Predators leave, Weyland Industries isn't (apparently) the Ginormous Evil Megacorporation it evolves into by the future time of Alien; CEO Lance Henriksen was pretty sick anyway, nobody from the other Predator movies (well, of the human cast, at least) was involved. I mean, yeah, it's a crossover, and crossovers by their nature are tricksy things, but still.
Oh, and the very end sets up the (SPOILER ALERT) Predalien for the sequel.
I guess the real question is, why have I watched all this far through both franchises? It's not like I'm out of movies or anything. None of the films are horrible, but none are all that good. Why do I bother?
Why? Why?
The other semi-notable thing is that this is the second thing I've seen with a character called "Grid."