MCA #8, Saturday morning

[craftyladyparts]

After a few minor issues finding, invading, and stealing paper files from the HAMMER Helicarrier, Jessica made her way back to Fandom late yesterday. She got all the sleep she could, but then woke up early so she could start sorting through information and make a plan of attack

Comments

[drunkscience]

That was a rookie mistake, Jessica. You always paid attention to the dances because they brought with them all the terrible things.

Like your loving son.

"Hey, mom," Petey said, swanning right on by her to dig in the fridge. Yeah, he'd totally planned this out since the moment he saw the apartment from a safe distance away and then carefully planned out his entry point.

But. You know. Casual-like.

[craftyladyparts]

Jessica watched this happen, glanced down at her coffee, and wished she had alcohol in the apartment for a brief moment. "Are you kidding me?" She put the coffee down and started to pack up all of the files while the kid was distracted by food. Good luck with that, kid. Jessica ate healthy.

Except for the three day old leftover pizza. Or the ice cream. Fine, he would find something to eat.

[drunkscience]

"Mom, I'm hurt," Petey replied, grabbing orange juice to drink right out of the bottle. Because he could. "Aren't you glad to see your son from a future that may or may not happen?"

[craftyladyparts]

"Depends. Who's your other parent?" Jessica checked. She shoved the documents into a messenger bag, then walked over to the kitchen to interrogate the kid. At least he had a handle on what was going on. Even if he had disgusting habits that he absolutely inherited from her.

[drunkscience]

Damn right he did.

"Tony Stark." A beat. "Don't worry, science was involved."

He then shuddered at the thought of his parents being an actual couple.

[craftyladyparts]

"Of course," Jessica sighed. She could see some resemblance to Tony. So if science, then probably a kid actually made in a lab for some reason? Unless 'science' was just a euphemism. Weird. This would be a 'funny' text to Tony. "What's your name, kid?"

[drunkscience]

DO IT, JESSICA. DO IT SO PETEY COULD LAUGH.

"Petey Stark," he replied brightly. "Also known as The Widower."

Which was not a dumb name at all, shut up.

[craftyladyparts]

It probably wasn't a parental thing to do so openly, but Jessica was judging you, Petey. For several things. You could see the judgment.

She pulled out her phone. NY trip went well. Also, we have a science kid with dumb names. And sent.

"You don't really call yourself 'The Widower.'" It wasn't a question. It was a statement she was trying to make true through sheer force of will for the sake of that AU future version of herself.

[drunkscience]

"Well, Spider-Man is kinda taken," he shot back. "And Iron Spider makes me sound like I'm a garage band."

The Widower was totally cool.

"And it makes Natasha mad."

So.

[imafuturist]

Tony promptly texted back a picture of four identical blond boys in his kitchen. One was once again on top of the fridge.

And then there was a following text of: WHY

[craftyladyparts]

STOP CLONING YOUR FRIENDS IN THE FUTURE.

"The Widower sounds like a bad TV drama about a middle aged man trying to restart his life after his wife died," Jessica pointed out.

This kid was probably both of us doing it, but still.

[drunkscience]

"It does not." It really did. "It sounds like a bad action movie with Charles Bronson."

Which appealed to him on many levels.

[imafuturist]

I DIDN'T CLONE ANYONE

Followed by: OH GOD, IF OSBORN CLONED STEVE I'M GOING TO MURDER HIM

Tony was not having a good day.

And then a much more reasonable: And it's not a clone if you use two people's genetic material.

[craftyladyparts]

"How do you know who Charles Bronson is? He's been dead for a decade already," Jessica said. "They're not still showing the Fatality Hankering movies on cable in your time, are they?" Thanks for the title, Thesaurus.com.

It depends on the process involved. Trust me on this.

[drunkscience]

"You know how it is," Petey said. "Kid of two busy superheros, raised on television because mom and dad were too busy for him..."

He was full of so much shit on that one. He had an overabundance of parental influences. It was gross.

[imafuturist]

Either way, we're now including genetic labs Osborn has been involved with in our investigation.

Because Tony needed to work off some aggression with spectacular explosions.