(no subject)
fire_daemon asked me about my 'science' background....and got more than he bargained for...5000 wordsEDIT:duh... 5000 letters! not words..doh! about my recent history, and science interests....
Its pretty descriptive of me so I'm posting it because I always manage to not write about myself.
So here's some prehistory...Give me a job!!!!
I'm very uncredentialed ;). My undergrad was physics..and I did very well at a fairly uncompetetive school. I got into grad school with money and a teacher's assistant position at Penn State. I was super depressed and anxiety ridden after leaving all my friends behind in the south. I was also very panicky over teaching two physics classes with 37 students each.. And physics started getting really 'unfriendly'...in undergrad it was all fun and interesting---in grad school it was cold and dark...So I bailed out and went a little crazy..it was -23F ~ -30C and I just hung out all alone buried in snow in my weird little house (the ONLY house in the center of a trailer park!!..very weird little shack)..Pennsylvania was beautiful though..but I wasn't connected with anyone and missed my old surroundings.
After that the only other school I did was a two year stint at UNC-Greensboro as a performance major on the cello. I had always wanted to do music and play many intruments...and the next thing you know--there I was in music school. But then my anxiety problems started to multiply and I bailed progressively out of everything..first my program, then I stayed on in orchestrs but eventually left, then I left the community orchestra, then I eventually left my job as a restaurant manager (the job I had for years which was located literally feet from the music school.) Then I got a job where I thought I could be a hermit ...reconstructing high-end pianos. But my anxiety issues were coming to a head and I panicked out of even that job. So then I just lived very sparsely and reclusively and spent a couple years with a really good therapist. HAHA it sounds so nutty when I read it!!
In between everything, my mind is constantly working on a variety of topics, and though panicky and reclusive I am really extroverted. So when I have 'victims' ..I spontaneously lecture them. I let them know it can all stop if they just ask or cry 'uncle' ..and then I just proceed to give what I call "an ear-pounding"...somewhat like what you're getting right now....more of an eye-brain pounding though.
So I'm very excited by many topics ..but not a verified 'authority' of anykind (though I would argue that point on a few things). So much of my 'science' background is just the result of extreme curiousity, and some good scientific 'sense', with an eye on the history of science and the common errors. I think creatively as a foundation but am very capable with math and mathematical modeling.
Everything I do is whim driven. Aside from just 'thinking' about stuff, I've learned a few programming languages largely to make weird simulations. Much of this work is just getting started...Nothing that hasn't been done before but its good fun and experience. My main interest is artificial life- I've made a few emergent systems of ants and flocks etc.. I hope to eventually make some sophistcated evolution programs, but so far all I've tried and thought-of is very trivial and deterministic. I have a pipe dream of virtual-biome with all sorts of critters organizing themselves...why? I don't know.....Ive also worked with 3d modeling etc..in Maya. I've done some pretty fancy stuff, but have a very incomplete background as an animator. I tend to want to program all my animation as opposed to 'key-framing' which is the 'norm'. I like to bypass the user interface and use the script editor/prompt. I'll show you some of my stuff soon ..maybe...aaannnddd I'll probably post this saga to my yournal....
There's other crap too...but this is the science background -'distilled'. My main topics of interest are physics and natural history. But I'm only interested in 'big' questions ..in general. Constantly coming up with my own 'theories'/interpretations of current conundrums..QM, cosmology, evolution, life...
But after I think of something long enough...I 'poison' it. I destroy its enchantment..and move on to something else. Then I rediscover later and continue...I found that this actually suits the nuerons well. The neurons can only create connections so fast...so I stimulate the 'direction of growth' and then forget it and move on...meanwhile the neurons continue to build the paths you've stimulated so ...you can come back later to find things have 'worked themselves out'. Needless to say this is no good for any 'profession'..so I'm poor but excited and hopeful...yeay!..
I have no idea what's next....Gotta a job for me??? ;)
My current goal is to work at home so I can play freely with things. Little web work with a friend who lets me 'hide-out'. Hopefully we will soon get 3d clients..as this is our goal.
So there's 15 yrs history..How about you? A couple questions. What's your background? What are you doing??
Sorry if this getting more incoherent but I'm getting more inhibited to write so much.
And PS...Have you ever seen the movie "Adaptation"?
Some pictures of my a-life in the comments....