Aimless Ramblings
Even when you think you’re tuning everything out, it’s amazing what snippets still leak into your ears. I listen to NPR on my drive to and from work and while they do some interesting science reports (did you know: Your brain waits for information from all nerve endings, from tip of your head to tip of your toes, before reacting to stimulus from one area? So, short people are actually a 100th % faster at reacting than tall people.) and human interest stories (Iowa is welcoming all the gay couples that California won't let marry), most of their reporting is on foreign wars and the economy. Now, I can’t follow the stock market with a map, a compass, and guide. And, I don’t mean to sound unsympathetic, but I’m overloaded with the plight of 3rd world countries bombing each other to bits. So this is my daydream time. (When I’m not driving of course. When I am driving I’m trying to think of reason to NOT run my fellow travelers off my road) I stare out the window and think of what I would do if I won the lottery or how nice it would be if I could fly.
The past two days, two small phrases interrupted me and Jeff Goldblum (my fantasy - I didn’t ask for opinions) on our private beach in Spain.
“General Use Machine Guns” and “Even A Small Nuclear Device Will Ruin Your Day”.
What?
Okay first, General Use Machine Gun. General use? There are machine guns that are SPECIFIC use? Has some army yahoo or mind-scrambled terrorist every looked at crowd and said “I’d like to mow those people down, but I don’t have the right machine gun. Damn it!”
And
Even A Small Nuclear Device Will Ruin Your Day. Well, um, yeah. Ok, I can’t really argue against the point. But I think this may be a wee bit of an understatement. It was lovely morning, I got plenty of sleep, my hair came out perfect and then some stupid nuclear bomb just ruined my day. Just look at these split ends! And I bet traffic will be terrible on the way home, you know with people fleeing the blast zone and all the rescue vehicles. And why is that guy running down the street with a pink ukulele? Well, better luck tomorrow.
Oh well, I have to go. Jeff’s back is starting to burn.