(no subject)

[cradleofdimmu]

I don't know what I should be doing right now. In all actuality I should be sleeping... but I don't want to. I don't want to do anything. The only thing I want to do is make the world perfect but I can't do that. Why can't everyone be happy? Why can't everyone be nice to each other? Why does there have to be so muh anger that leads to hurtful things? I don't know how to feel. I feel like I've lost it all though I know I havvn't. After everything that has been going on I just want to give up. I'm not making anyone happy. I'm not doing everything that I should be doing. Aparently, I don't think at all about my actions. And I don't even know what it is I did wrong. I was always happy with my life.. I didn't care about the cold showers or the microwaved food for dinner or any of that. Sure, it bugs me a little now and then but overall I'm happy with my life. But for some reason everyone else thinks that this is wrong. Nothing anyone does in this house is working. Then everyone gets punished for it. What do I do? What am I suppose to do?! I can already see every day being exactly the same. It all seems pointless. I asked God what I should do and something in my head told me just to live every day positivly and just flow with time and see what happens. But then, I wonder what the others are thinking right now. They have false thoughts that make this particular situation a much higher degree than it is. They just don't understand it. And I don't understand why there must be conflict.

If you don't have any idea what I'm talking about, good. You're not intended to. I just needed to dump the main points out of my head.

I love Genie. And I wish things were like they used to be.