I will begin again
It seems like every year I start an entry with that subject line. But I'm serious this time. Cuz Lord knows this time last year I could barely function out of heartbreak and utter failure. I had just gotten back from a shitty bowl trip in Arizona and had just started to attempt to piece my life back together. And in that next year, I had attempted to fix things with Dustin once again, only to fail miserably. We're not even friends anymore. It's just interesting to see what difference a year makes and how things will always work out for the best in the end. And yes, it breaks my heart to have lost one of my closest friends, but in saying that I realize that he really never cared about my interests or loved me. Talk about a one-sided friendship.
But anyways!! The past is what's behind and I think I'm slowly but surely getting over it. He calls, my heart doesn't jump. He doesn't call and I don't spend the night freaking out or driving around the greater Montgomery County area trying to find him. The love that was once in my heart is quietly fading. It's kinda nice.
There's a guy I really care about that treats me really well and is a very dear friend, but that's moving slowly (if at all, in that direction) and I like it that way. So yeah. That does make it a wee bit easier. Not gonna lie.
This year is a year of changes and I'm really excited for that. Already in a gym/crunches routine. Eating better, losing weight. Quit smoking cigarettes in August, cut back a lot on my drinking. Spending more time with the rocks and with school. I have a really hard semester ahead of me but I know I can do well. Getting counseling (holy shit, i'm admitting it), staying on top of things. Holding my dear friends close and getting rid of poisonous things that only waste my time. Reading more good books, watching good movies. Staying on top of the world. Being an informed human with well-developed politics and ideas for how the way the world should work. I really am an intellectual at heart and I think I've lost sight of that lately. Being close with my family and not using Saturday night drinking as an excuse not to go out to McKees' Rocks for church. Nothing makes me happier than being with them. I need to call my cousin. Things are going to be amazing and I love the way this year has started.
1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before? let Dustin go
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? i'm sure I made some halfditch resolution to lose weight but I'm really keeping it this year
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? nope
4. Did anyone close to you die? nope
5. What countries did you visit? CANADIA, eh? Loved it.
6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005? a peaceful heart
7. What date(s) from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Dec 25, 2005. Some random day in July, date unknown, situation never forgotten. August 26.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? falling out of love, letting things go
9. What was your biggest failure? grades
10. Did you suffer any illness or injury? nothing too major
11. What was the best thing you bought? i really dig my mp3 player, constant music really does improve my general demeanor
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Laura, she really does stick behind me and came all the way up here to pick me up for 311. Betsy, cuz lord knows i couldn't get in enough trouble without you.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? this whole IBK mess
14. Where did most of your money go? school
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? being home for christmas, 311!
16. What song will always remind you of 2005? 311 - Give Me A Call, Unity, Omaha Stylee
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? much happier
ii. thinner or fatter? thinner
iii. richer or poorer? poorer
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? schoolwork
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? wasting time caring about Dustin
20. How will you be spending Christmas? spent it with my family in Rockville
New Years? Jaci's Wedding!
22. Did you fall in love in 2005? fell out, got twitterpated.
23. How many one-night stands? zero. i don't do one night stands.
24. What was your favorite TV program? Desperate Housewives
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? I don't hate. Disgusted by, maybe. Don't really have much to say to. Don't hate.
26. What was the best book you read? DaVinci Code - Dan Brown, Harry Potter (the new one), yeah I'm a sucker. Any recommendations?
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Alkaline Trio/Goldfinger are pretty cool
28. What did you want and get? digital camera, trip out west and to canada
29. What did you want and not get? a real goodbye.
30. What was your favorite film of this year? Day After Tomorrow was hilarious.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Got really depressed, dragged my roommates out. Turned 22.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? My own car? Who knows.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005? I like jeans and t-shirts, but with kitten heels and pretty earrings.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Bubba Sparxxx
36. What political issue stirred you the most? This no-longer-an-actual war in Iraq. The demise of our country. Increased fuel prices. Handling of the situation in New Orleans. What else did Bush fuck up?
37. Who did you miss? I thought I missed Dustin. It was just the idea of him.
38. Who was the best new person you met? Broxton in the lab is pretty cool.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005: Win some, lose some.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: "From chaos comes clarity." - 311 - "From Chaos"
But anyways!! The past is what's behind and I think I'm slowly but surely getting over it. He calls, my heart doesn't jump. He doesn't call and I don't spend the night freaking out or driving around the greater Montgomery County area trying to find him. The love that was once in my heart is quietly fading. It's kinda nice.
There's a guy I really care about that treats me really well and is a very dear friend, but that's moving slowly (if at all, in that direction) and I like it that way. So yeah. That does make it a wee bit easier. Not gonna lie.
This year is a year of changes and I'm really excited for that. Already in a gym/crunches routine. Eating better, losing weight. Quit smoking cigarettes in August, cut back a lot on my drinking. Spending more time with the rocks and with school. I have a really hard semester ahead of me but I know I can do well. Getting counseling (holy shit, i'm admitting it), staying on top of things. Holding my dear friends close and getting rid of poisonous things that only waste my time. Reading more good books, watching good movies. Staying on top of the world. Being an informed human with well-developed politics and ideas for how the way the world should work. I really am an intellectual at heart and I think I've lost sight of that lately. Being close with my family and not using Saturday night drinking as an excuse not to go out to McKees' Rocks for church. Nothing makes me happier than being with them. I need to call my cousin. Things are going to be amazing and I love the way this year has started.
1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before? let Dustin go
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? i'm sure I made some halfditch resolution to lose weight but I'm really keeping it this year
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? nope
4. Did anyone close to you die? nope
5. What countries did you visit? CANADIA, eh? Loved it.
6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005? a peaceful heart
7. What date(s) from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Dec 25, 2005. Some random day in July, date unknown, situation never forgotten. August 26.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? falling out of love, letting things go
9. What was your biggest failure? grades
10. Did you suffer any illness or injury? nothing too major
11. What was the best thing you bought? i really dig my mp3 player, constant music really does improve my general demeanor
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Laura, she really does stick behind me and came all the way up here to pick me up for 311. Betsy, cuz lord knows i couldn't get in enough trouble without you.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? this whole IBK mess
14. Where did most of your money go? school
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? being home for christmas, 311!
16. What song will always remind you of 2005? 311 - Give Me A Call, Unity, Omaha Stylee
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? much happier
ii. thinner or fatter? thinner
iii. richer or poorer? poorer
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? schoolwork
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? wasting time caring about Dustin
20. How will you be spending Christmas? spent it with my family in Rockville
New Years? Jaci's Wedding!
22. Did you fall in love in 2005? fell out, got twitterpated.
23. How many one-night stands? zero. i don't do one night stands.
24. What was your favorite TV program? Desperate Housewives
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? I don't hate. Disgusted by, maybe. Don't really have much to say to. Don't hate.
26. What was the best book you read? DaVinci Code - Dan Brown, Harry Potter (the new one), yeah I'm a sucker. Any recommendations?
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Alkaline Trio/Goldfinger are pretty cool
28. What did you want and get? digital camera, trip out west and to canada
29. What did you want and not get? a real goodbye.
30. What was your favorite film of this year? Day After Tomorrow was hilarious.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Got really depressed, dragged my roommates out. Turned 22.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? My own car? Who knows.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005? I like jeans and t-shirts, but with kitten heels and pretty earrings.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Bubba Sparxxx
36. What political issue stirred you the most? This no-longer-an-actual war in Iraq. The demise of our country. Increased fuel prices. Handling of the situation in New Orleans. What else did Bush fuck up?
37. Who did you miss? I thought I missed Dustin. It was just the idea of him.
38. Who was the best new person you met? Broxton in the lab is pretty cool.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005: Win some, lose some.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: "From chaos comes clarity." - 311 - "From Chaos"