And as quickly as it came, it ended...
For me, sophomore year ended on the 5th reunions dancefloor, Saturday night, when hundreds (thousands?) of people jumped up and down in sync to Livin on a Prayer, that quintessential Princeton song. It was weird, because I felt I was in two worlds - one, as a part of that giant group of people, and one, as part of the old crew (minus the staples of Laura and Charm). I lost myself in that moment, when the band sang, "whoa, we're halfway there, whoa, livin' on a prayer." The thing is, that moment was so peaceful, because it came and went, and I was just there. And that made me happy.
It was somewhat of a rollercoaster of a year, and who knew that the year would've ended the way it did, starting as it did. Somethings didn't change - 103 Blair will always be 103 Blair, and Elizabeth will always be the adopted roommate. Who would've thought though, that at the end of last year, after meeting after econ lecture and deciding to do OA support together, that we would become inseparable like we did. And who knew that, after months of watching Sex and the City and lamenting the lack of boys in our lives, that they would make their ways into our lives, coincidentally around the same time. Who knew we (or rather, primarily, I) would let go of the things that were held onto so steadfastly last year and this semester. Things I was so sure of - RA, to name one - didn't work out, but I'm so happy that they didn't.
Some things remained the same. I signed into the MolBio department, I sailed, I shot photos, I stayed up talking til 4 am, I drank, I made merry, and I lived life. I laughed a lot (til I was laughing so hard that I started laughing silently) and I cried (sometimes, I bawled. A lot.) I even domesticated (as crazy as that sounds).
There was a point this semester when I was actually really sad for a long period of time. I wasn't used to it, and that made me even more upset. I was used to being the happy one, always happy. And then I wasn't. I didn't feel like myself. Slowly, and I can't really put a finger on when or why, but I got back to being myself, to having moments, to just enjoying being alive, and that made me really happy. I started appreciating being happy, even though I know that sounds strange.
I'm not really sure I know where I was going with this. Point being, is that when I stood in that reunions tent, among both friends and strangers, I realized that I was really lucky, for that moment and for the entire experience. I was lucky to be amongst friends. I was also lucky to see so many of the people who had graduated, who'd made it through, who were now doing something, and that I'd make it through and I'd do something to. Like Dan Isaac told us last year, in an email to our class the night before our MOL214 final, he was proud of all of us, and we should be proud of ourselves, and that we'd make it, and no matter what anyone told us, we'd do what we wanted to do. I was afraid I wouldn't get to do what I wanted to do, but I'll make it. I made it through the semester, for once doing far better than I'd expected to do. Even though I felt I may have lost it, things are working themselves out.
Maybe that's what this year was all about - learning that things would be okay, that they'd work themselves out, that they'd happen as they were intended to. I just had to keep telling myself that this year, and I keep telling it to myself now, and it keeps me smiling.
That, and I have the best friends in the world, by far. Even though this year was a bit of an emotional rollercoaster at times, we came out in the end tight and in one piece (several pieces, actually, but you get my point). Though things inevitably won't be the same next year, they're still going to be awesome. We're halfway there, but that means that we're only halfway there, and we've still got half of it coming. As the old alum told Elizabeth and me, drunkenly at 8:30 on Friday night, as we walked back to our rooms, in response to hearing that we had "two [years] left," "they're easy." Jason, class of 2000, told me at the sailing alumni bbq that the last 2 were his best years at Princeton. I don't know if they'll be easy, but I think they'll be awesome.
So then Saturday night was really emotional, and we all started crying, all the way back home. You would've thought we were graduating, but no. And in retrospect, we're all kind of ridiculous, or at least I am, but in an awesomely ridiculous kind of way. Love you guys like whoa.
It was somewhat of a rollercoaster of a year, and who knew that the year would've ended the way it did, starting as it did. Somethings didn't change - 103 Blair will always be 103 Blair, and Elizabeth will always be the adopted roommate. Who would've thought though, that at the end of last year, after meeting after econ lecture and deciding to do OA support together, that we would become inseparable like we did. And who knew that, after months of watching Sex and the City and lamenting the lack of boys in our lives, that they would make their ways into our lives, coincidentally around the same time. Who knew we (or rather, primarily, I) would let go of the things that were held onto so steadfastly last year and this semester. Things I was so sure of - RA, to name one - didn't work out, but I'm so happy that they didn't.
Some things remained the same. I signed into the MolBio department, I sailed, I shot photos, I stayed up talking til 4 am, I drank, I made merry, and I lived life. I laughed a lot (til I was laughing so hard that I started laughing silently) and I cried (sometimes, I bawled. A lot.) I even domesticated (as crazy as that sounds).
There was a point this semester when I was actually really sad for a long period of time. I wasn't used to it, and that made me even more upset. I was used to being the happy one, always happy. And then I wasn't. I didn't feel like myself. Slowly, and I can't really put a finger on when or why, but I got back to being myself, to having moments, to just enjoying being alive, and that made me really happy. I started appreciating being happy, even though I know that sounds strange.
I'm not really sure I know where I was going with this. Point being, is that when I stood in that reunions tent, among both friends and strangers, I realized that I was really lucky, for that moment and for the entire experience. I was lucky to be amongst friends. I was also lucky to see so many of the people who had graduated, who'd made it through, who were now doing something, and that I'd make it through and I'd do something to. Like Dan Isaac told us last year, in an email to our class the night before our MOL214 final, he was proud of all of us, and we should be proud of ourselves, and that we'd make it, and no matter what anyone told us, we'd do what we wanted to do. I was afraid I wouldn't get to do what I wanted to do, but I'll make it. I made it through the semester, for once doing far better than I'd expected to do. Even though I felt I may have lost it, things are working themselves out.
Maybe that's what this year was all about - learning that things would be okay, that they'd work themselves out, that they'd happen as they were intended to. I just had to keep telling myself that this year, and I keep telling it to myself now, and it keeps me smiling.
That, and I have the best friends in the world, by far. Even though this year was a bit of an emotional rollercoaster at times, we came out in the end tight and in one piece (several pieces, actually, but you get my point). Though things inevitably won't be the same next year, they're still going to be awesome. We're halfway there, but that means that we're only halfway there, and we've still got half of it coming. As the old alum told Elizabeth and me, drunkenly at 8:30 on Friday night, as we walked back to our rooms, in response to hearing that we had "two [years] left," "they're easy." Jason, class of 2000, told me at the sailing alumni bbq that the last 2 were his best years at Princeton. I don't know if they'll be easy, but I think they'll be awesome.
So then Saturday night was really emotional, and we all started crying, all the way back home. You would've thought we were graduating, but no. And in retrospect, we're all kind of ridiculous, or at least I am, but in an awesomely ridiculous kind of way. Love you guys like whoa.