#4 Lab 13 Case Files- Kuchiki Kurokuya
Bleach: Red Alert
Have You Seen This Man?
Let me start this off by presenting some inconvenient statistics:
Chances of Byakuya remarrying: 0%
Chances of Byakuya making babies without marrying: 0%
Chances of Rukia marrying/having children: 3%?
Chances of said child, if made, being a boy: 50% [Right?]
Chances of said child, if made, becoming the next head of the Kuchiki house: 0%
Because Soul Society is very Asian, very traditionally Asian, the female marries out of the family. And with Byakuya still keeping his dead wife's portrait in the closet, he's not going to take another. And we're going to rule out the concubine possibility because it breaks our hearts. And the Kuchikicest possibility because of its minimal possibility in canon. Which mean there's a possibility that the Four Great Houses are about to become three.
But! Danielle said, the Kuchiki are brilliant people, and it would be blasphemous indeed to suggest that they would not be prepared for such a catastophe. Let's say what if Byakuya had a twin that the Kuchiki kept in the cupboard under the stairs just in case the head of House refuses to produce heir?
It's Kurokuya to the rescue! You've seen him around fandom, disguised as the Great Kuchiki Head of House. But it's not Byakuya, oh no. It's Kurokuya, pimp master extraordinaire, treats laws as suggestions, and makes passionate, kinky love with all of the ladies of Seireitei.
Name: Kuchiki Kurokuya
Date of Birth: January 31th
Zanpakutou Name: Unknown
Bankai form: Lotus petals.
Attire: Seen in speedoes, miniskirts, suits with tophats, but sometimes he walks around in his brother's robes to fuck with Renji [Take this however you'd like to.]
About him: The world isn't fair to Kurokuya. Having been born four minutes after, Kurokuya was doomed to a life of invisibleness, forced to act as a doppleganger in his brother's shadows. There can only be one Kuchiki heir, and it is not him. His life of solitude began in the cupboard under the stairs of the Kuchiki house, out of the public eye. There, he spent his time fantasizing about conjuring magic with scattered pieces of sticks, until one day, Kurokuya managed to pull a sword out of a smelly old hat. It was then that he realized that he was destined to be a shinigami. Training in secret [and he had the help of his animal friend because not only was he psychic, could perform kidou and shunpo without ever crossing the threshold of the Academy, he could talk to animals], he managed to achieve Bankai, causing the great Seireitei Earthquake of the year of the Lemur. His Bankai, much like his twin, Byakuya's, breaks into flower petals-- lotus, to be exact--which flutter and cut at his command.
Recently: Due to his early age of captivity, Kurokuya set himself out to become the opposite of all that the Kuchiki House stood for. Honor, to him, is like a fox pelt in the middle of the desert in a hot July afternoon, law and regulations are figments of imagination, and love, in his opinion, should be given to everything and everyone with passion and ferocity, regardless of consensus. Now that he is older, he uses his uncanny resemblance to his twin brother to broaden his horizons. He often parades around in his brother's clothes and often, unintentionally, causes mischief, misunderstandings, and sometimes riots. All of this, however, is never talked about in public, because regardless, everybody fears Byakuya.
Kurokuya has been sighted many times throughout fandom. Most commonly, he lurks in the darkened alleys of fanfiction, thriving in the notorious fanfiction.net district. Major indications of this character are, but is not limited to, the following:
1. Dresses in strange attire. Although from time to time he may wear Byakuya!clothes just for fun.
2. Conversations [or silent walks] will lead to sex.
3. Not a jerk.
4. Explosions of teenage angst and monologues, normally about a woman named Hisana.
5. Speaks french, and has tea with Shakespeare and Newton.
6. Claims to have a cousin/sister/aunt/lover from America
7. Talks. A lot.
If you have seen this man, PLEASE NOTIFY US IMMEDIATELY. The fate of the Kuchiki House is in your hands!
Really? That's great! Please submit the place of siting to us in the following form and we will add it to our list. Thank you SO MUCH for your efforts.
Place of siting: [URL]
Sited by: [Your name]
Date of Siting: [Date]
Indications of Kurokuya: [What character traits convinced you that this was he?]
Additional comments and observations:
Found by: ancha_289
Title: Watching You
Excerpt: "You look so much like Hisana. I had you adopted into this family, hoping that I could contain myself. Hoping to restrain these feelings. Forgive me Rukia" he whispered, loosening his obi."
Found by: ancha_289
Title: Mistletoe
Excerpt: "It's a mistletoe," Yuki said. She then continued to explain the workings of a mistletoe.
"I do not wish to value this ridiculous tradition," Byakuya stated.
"Oh..." Yuki sighed, for she loved Christmas, but her disappointment did not go unnoticed.
Placing his hand underneath her chin, Byakuya tilted her head upwards and planted a kiss on her lips.
"Merry Christmas," Byakuya whispered.
Yuki blushed, "Merry Christmas, taichou"
Found by: ancha_289
Title: Kuchiki Heir
Premise: Byakuya has to choose a woman at random to marry in order to have kids. YA RIGHT. He had to fight his family to marry Hisana (over who he has a crap load of TEH ANGZT as well) and they want him to marry some random person?? And he's pretty much fine with it. O.o
Found by: eilowyn 8-12-07
Title: Shinigami Party
Indications of Kurokuya: Shows what, for a normal guy, would be a common reaction to Rangiku in a slutty dress. Agrees to Yachiru's suggestions without complaint. Apparently not immune to snuggling. See further proof below.
Excerpt:
‘It seems as if I begun to have feelings for the girl. At one moment she’s just another person at the Shinigami and then whenever I’m around her, I begin feeling the same emotions I used to have with Hisana. I begin feeling-’ but before Byakuya could finish his train of thought, he was distracted by the soul purpose of his thinking. Rangiku started to move again, snuggling more into his chest.
On a double date with Hitsugaya, Momo, and Yachiru (menacing matchmaker), Bayakuya [Kurokyuya] carries Rangiku back to Seireitei, after she fell asleep during PotC 3.
Also, only Kurokuya could enjoy the kinky double entendre of this suggestion:
“Oh really now?” questioned Byakuya, amusement starting to show on his flawless face. “The I suppose the two of you wouldn’t mind me carrying the both of you towards the training area, so I can teach the two of you how to achieve and use Bankai at midnight, now do we?”
Found by half_life_wolf 8-13-07
Title: Prayer of a Refugee
Indications of Kurokuya: Subject is described by Rukia as having has a different girl every night (presumably sexually), and is seen with a woman, possibly a prostitute, on his lap. Also, gambles. Even in a Western AU, I doubt Byakuya would gamble.
Found by geckophobe 8-17-07
Title: A Bet Of Our Lives
Indications of Kurokuya: Accepts a bet from Renji to find and bed a girl within a month, drives a red corvette, has VIP passes to a hot nightclub, plays grab-ass while slow dancing with a girl with "nice sized breast" and purple eyes. And that's just the Prologue.
Place of siting: Bleach Heat the Soul 3 video game cutscene, roughly 5:06 on.
Sited by: citharadraconis
Date of Siting: 1/15/08
Indications of Kurokuya: Wearing a suit. Playing pool. 'Nuff said. (I think he stole Byakuya's kenseikan.)
Have You Seen This Man?
Let me start this off by presenting some inconvenient statistics:
Chances of Byakuya remarrying: 0%
Chances of Byakuya making babies without marrying: 0%
Chances of Rukia marrying/having children: 3%?
Chances of said child, if made, being a boy: 50% [Right?]
Chances of said child, if made, becoming the next head of the Kuchiki house: 0%
Because Soul Society is very Asian, very traditionally Asian, the female marries out of the family. And with Byakuya still keeping his dead wife's portrait in the closet, he's not going to take another. And we're going to rule out the concubine possibility because it breaks our hearts. And the Kuchikicest possibility because of its minimal possibility in canon. Which mean there's a possibility that the Four Great Houses are about to become three.
But! Danielle said, the Kuchiki are brilliant people, and it would be blasphemous indeed to suggest that they would not be prepared for such a catastophe. Let's say what if Byakuya had a twin that the Kuchiki kept in the cupboard under the stairs just in case the head of House refuses to produce heir?
It's Kurokuya to the rescue! You've seen him around fandom, disguised as the Great Kuchiki Head of House. But it's not Byakuya, oh no. It's Kurokuya, pimp master extraordinaire, treats laws as suggestions, and makes passionate, kinky love with all of the ladies of Seireitei.
Name: Kuchiki Kurokuya
Date of Birth: January 31th
Zanpakutou Name: Unknown
Bankai form: Lotus petals.
Attire: Seen in speedoes, miniskirts, suits with tophats, but sometimes he walks around in his brother's robes to fuck with Renji [Take this however you'd like to.]
About him: The world isn't fair to Kurokuya. Having been born four minutes after, Kurokuya was doomed to a life of invisibleness, forced to act as a doppleganger in his brother's shadows. There can only be one Kuchiki heir, and it is not him. His life of solitude began in the cupboard under the stairs of the Kuchiki house, out of the public eye. There, he spent his time fantasizing about conjuring magic with scattered pieces of sticks, until one day, Kurokuya managed to pull a sword out of a smelly old hat. It was then that he realized that he was destined to be a shinigami. Training in secret [and he had the help of his animal friend because not only was he psychic, could perform kidou and shunpo without ever crossing the threshold of the Academy, he could talk to animals], he managed to achieve Bankai, causing the great Seireitei Earthquake of the year of the Lemur. His Bankai, much like his twin, Byakuya's, breaks into flower petals-- lotus, to be exact--which flutter and cut at his command.
Recently: Due to his early age of captivity, Kurokuya set himself out to become the opposite of all that the Kuchiki House stood for. Honor, to him, is like a fox pelt in the middle of the desert in a hot July afternoon, law and regulations are figments of imagination, and love, in his opinion, should be given to everything and everyone with passion and ferocity, regardless of consensus. Now that he is older, he uses his uncanny resemblance to his twin brother to broaden his horizons. He often parades around in his brother's clothes and often, unintentionally, causes mischief, misunderstandings, and sometimes riots. All of this, however, is never talked about in public, because regardless, everybody fears Byakuya.
Kurokuya has been sighted many times throughout fandom. Most commonly, he lurks in the darkened alleys of fanfiction, thriving in the notorious fanfiction.net district. Major indications of this character are, but is not limited to, the following:
1. Dresses in strange attire. Although from time to time he may wear Byakuya!clothes just for fun.
2. Conversations [or silent walks] will lead to sex.
3. Not a jerk.
4. Explosions of teenage angst and monologues, normally about a woman named Hisana.
5. Speaks french, and has tea with Shakespeare and Newton.
6. Claims to have a cousin/sister/aunt/lover from America
7. Talks. A lot.
If you have seen this man, PLEASE NOTIFY US IMMEDIATELY. The fate of the Kuchiki House is in your hands!
Really? That's great! Please submit the place of siting to us in the following form and we will add it to our list. Thank you SO MUCH for your efforts.
Place of siting: [URL]
Sited by: [Your name]
Date of Siting: [Date]
Indications of Kurokuya: [What character traits convinced you that this was he?]
Additional comments and observations:
Found by: ancha_289
Title: Watching You
Excerpt: "You look so much like Hisana. I had you adopted into this family, hoping that I could contain myself. Hoping to restrain these feelings. Forgive me Rukia" he whispered, loosening his obi."
Found by: ancha_289
Title: Mistletoe
Excerpt: "It's a mistletoe," Yuki said. She then continued to explain the workings of a mistletoe.
"I do not wish to value this ridiculous tradition," Byakuya stated.
"Oh..." Yuki sighed, for she loved Christmas, but her disappointment did not go unnoticed.
Placing his hand underneath her chin, Byakuya tilted her head upwards and planted a kiss on her lips.
"Merry Christmas," Byakuya whispered.
Yuki blushed, "Merry Christmas, taichou"
Found by: ancha_289
Title: Kuchiki Heir
Premise: Byakuya has to choose a woman at random to marry in order to have kids. YA RIGHT. He had to fight his family to marry Hisana (over who he has a crap load of TEH ANGZT as well) and they want him to marry some random person?? And he's pretty much fine with it. O.o
Found by: eilowyn 8-12-07
Title: Shinigami Party
Indications of Kurokuya: Shows what, for a normal guy, would be a common reaction to Rangiku in a slutty dress. Agrees to Yachiru's suggestions without complaint. Apparently not immune to snuggling. See further proof below.
Excerpt:
‘It seems as if I begun to have feelings for the girl. At one moment she’s just another person at the Shinigami and then whenever I’m around her, I begin feeling the same emotions I used to have with Hisana. I begin feeling-’ but before Byakuya could finish his train of thought, he was distracted by the soul purpose of his thinking. Rangiku started to move again, snuggling more into his chest.
On a double date with Hitsugaya, Momo, and Yachiru (menacing matchmaker), Bayakuya [Kurokyuya] carries Rangiku back to Seireitei, after she fell asleep during PotC 3.
Also, only Kurokuya could enjoy the kinky double entendre of this suggestion:
“Oh really now?” questioned Byakuya, amusement starting to show on his flawless face. “The I suppose the two of you wouldn’t mind me carrying the both of you towards the training area, so I can teach the two of you how to achieve and use Bankai at midnight, now do we?”
Found by half_life_wolf 8-13-07
Title: Prayer of a Refugee
Indications of Kurokuya: Subject is described by Rukia as having has a different girl every night (presumably sexually), and is seen with a woman, possibly a prostitute, on his lap. Also, gambles. Even in a Western AU, I doubt Byakuya would gamble.
Found by geckophobe 8-17-07
Title: A Bet Of Our Lives
Indications of Kurokuya: Accepts a bet from Renji to find and bed a girl within a month, drives a red corvette, has VIP passes to a hot nightclub, plays grab-ass while slow dancing with a girl with "nice sized breast" and purple eyes. And that's just the Prologue.
Place of siting: Bleach Heat the Soul 3 video game cutscene, roughly 5:06 on.
Sited by: citharadraconis
Date of Siting: 1/15/08
Indications of Kurokuya: Wearing a suit. Playing pool. 'Nuff said. (I think he stole Byakuya's kenseikan.)