married life

[cracker_jacks20]

well, i have been married for 2 weeks and 2 days. i don't feel married, i feel like I'm just shacking up with him.  and I'm not like i have to see him every minute of the day. i do miss him when hes not here. and we get along great. I'm wondering if i made a big mistake jumping into marriage and not feeling like i will die without him.  if anything happens to him i will be devastated but i know i will eventually be fine.  i do love him like crazy but i think we should have waited to say our vows.  But i love with with all of my heart.  maybe I am just afraid that he will die (he has had cancer in the past) and then because of that i feel like i cant allow myself to get completely attached.  thats probably the case.  i have had the best sex in my life with him, i am not uncomfortable about my body at all.  he makes me feel beautiful.
he loves my kids and my kids love him like he there is their own father. thats important.  and his kids, let me tell you what, they are something else, i would not trade them for anything or anyone in this world. they are fantastic!!!  i love them like they are my own babies.  and i want them to live with us all the time and not every other weekend. 
I'm also taking real estate classes which i hate and i don't want to go there at all. Russ says it will get better its that fundamentals sucks big sweaty balls.  i hope it gets better there is a lot of money in real estate if you just apply yourself.  Russ and me are the next Donald Trump in real estate...lol. yeah right.  good thinking though.