I think I can I think I can
Okay. 104 days until we go to Thailand. And 111 until we get to Phuket. I’m stoked for the whole trip, but the Phuket part is a little…anxiety-inducing.
I can’t really swim. Less because I’m physically unable to, more because I don’t really believe I can float. Which creates problems. This was compounded pretty bad in early puberty by a) not wanting to be seen in a bathing suit and b) asthma, so the smell of chlorine gets me in enough of a tizzy I just kind of flounder about until I find the side of the pool and cling to it for dear life. Also, bathing suit embarrassment was made worse by the fact that my mom really wanted me to be able to swim, so I had to take a lot of swimming lessons, and being in a swim class with kids 5 years younger than you, when you’re 13 and the swim instructor is kind of cute, not really confidence-instilling.
However, I would like to try scuba diving. I think that since my fears involve floating, and the point of scuba diving is to not float, I think it would be mentally easier. And I’ll have an air supply for when I’m under the water. Paul promised to support me whether I go through with it or I completely wuss out, and I know he’ll help calm me down.
The bathing suit issue’s still there. I’m going to buy a super-cute swimsuit for myself, as I don’t actually have a real swimsuit right now. But the summer has been full of guests, which has lead to fewer walks and more nice meals out, so there’s been some weight gain. Not completely super out of control, but decidedly needs to be addressed in a bigger way than “oh yeah, I’ll try to remember to take Chewy on more walks.” So I’m going to try the Couch to 6k program, knee permitting. I did the first day today, it wasn’t too bad. My hamstrings and knee weren’t loving it, but it was enough of a challenge without feeling like I was going to absolutely going to die, so we’ll see how it goes. Also, trying to go on more walks with Paul and the dog. And really watching the carbs more. I’d gotten the hang of weight maintenance, balancing carb intake in such a way that I don’t gain, but weight loss takes carb avoidance in a way that’s tough on anyone. Especially people who like to bake & bake & bake.
But I can do it.
First step: pre-summer weight. Second step: just-back-from-Scotland weight. Third step: …let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. I’ll worry about that when the time comes.
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