(no subject)
DRIVING TEST ONE
Chelsea: Ask me a driving question.
Alexei: What do you do if the road conditions are VERY FOGGY.
Chelsea: drive slowly and turn on your low beams, unless you can barely see, then you should pull all the way over
Chelsea: also if you have a friend in the car with you, have them lean out the window and shout like a siren or novelty horn, so people know where you are.
Alexei: CORRECT, although you actually want to make your friend make a noise like a foghorn or a moose.
Chelsea: Ooooh
Alexei: Except not like...a sexy moose or foghorn noise, if you're near their habitats.
Chelsea: wait, why "except not like," and not "especially like"?
Alexei: Hilarious, but damaging to your car.
DRIVING TEST TWO
Alexei: Okay, here’s another driving question.
Alexei: You are driving a 1976 Dodge Dart, that was chopped together by a group of unscrupulous leather merchants in the ruins of San Diego.
Chelsea: I run them over.
Alexei: …
Chelsea: Sorry
Chelsea: /run over unscrupulous merchants
Alexei: Chelsea, why do you always have to kill my quest-giving npcs?
Chelsea: Sorry, lets do it again
Chelsea: /start new
Alexei: You are driving a 1976 Dodge Dart, that was chopped together by a group of WELL PROTECTED and unscrupulous leather merchants in the ruins of San Diego. You have been working as a courier/caravan guard for the last six months. During an especially tense run, a mutant land-whale breaches the last freeway ahead of you. You have been assured that the harpoon installed on the roof of the Dart has enough grip to fix in the whale's stony hide. What do you do?
Chelsea: /stop vehicle 15-50 ft from breach trajectory
Alexei: You make your driving roll and stop on a dime.
Chelsea: /rummage through cargo for drugs
Alexei: Your cargo is full of a wide variety of exotic narcotics.
Chelsea: /give exotic narcotics to whale
Alexei: You quickly imbibe a variety of substances, offering several of your more potent and debilitating concoctions to the whale. The two of you while away a pleasant afternoon together tripping your brains out. As the sun sets and you sober up, you realize that you now understand the speech of land-whales. You and the whale go on a transnational murder spree/cabaret show, which is well received in most major post-apocalyptic urban hovels.
Alexei: Congratulations, that was the right answer.
Chelsea: SCORE. i'm so ready for this test! I'm going to take it in Whale.
Chelsea: Ask me a driving question.
Alexei: What do you do if the road conditions are VERY FOGGY.
Chelsea: drive slowly and turn on your low beams, unless you can barely see, then you should pull all the way over
Chelsea: also if you have a friend in the car with you, have them lean out the window and shout like a siren or novelty horn, so people know where you are.
Alexei: CORRECT, although you actually want to make your friend make a noise like a foghorn or a moose.
Chelsea: Ooooh
Alexei: Except not like...a sexy moose or foghorn noise, if you're near their habitats.
Chelsea: wait, why "except not like," and not "especially like"?
Alexei: Hilarious, but damaging to your car.
DRIVING TEST TWO
Alexei: Okay, here’s another driving question.
Alexei: You are driving a 1976 Dodge Dart, that was chopped together by a group of unscrupulous leather merchants in the ruins of San Diego.
Chelsea: I run them over.
Alexei: …
Chelsea: Sorry
Chelsea: /run over unscrupulous merchants
Alexei: Chelsea, why do you always have to kill my quest-giving npcs?
Chelsea: Sorry, lets do it again
Chelsea: /start new
Alexei: You are driving a 1976 Dodge Dart, that was chopped together by a group of WELL PROTECTED and unscrupulous leather merchants in the ruins of San Diego. You have been working as a courier/caravan guard for the last six months. During an especially tense run, a mutant land-whale breaches the last freeway ahead of you. You have been assured that the harpoon installed on the roof of the Dart has enough grip to fix in the whale's stony hide. What do you do?
Chelsea: /stop vehicle 15-50 ft from breach trajectory
Alexei: You make your driving roll and stop on a dime.
Chelsea: /rummage through cargo for drugs
Alexei: Your cargo is full of a wide variety of exotic narcotics.
Chelsea: /give exotic narcotics to whale
Alexei: You quickly imbibe a variety of substances, offering several of your more potent and debilitating concoctions to the whale. The two of you while away a pleasant afternoon together tripping your brains out. As the sun sets and you sober up, you realize that you now understand the speech of land-whales. You and the whale go on a transnational murder spree/cabaret show, which is well received in most major post-apocalyptic urban hovels.
Alexei: Congratulations, that was the right answer.
Chelsea: SCORE. i'm so ready for this test! I'm going to take it in Whale.