Can you believe it's been this long?
Yeeeeah...so about writing in this thing. It really hasn't been a priority for me in a LONG time. Honestly I distanced myself from this site because of the drama that was associated with it when I was in high school. I remember countless fights with people over something I said or someone else said on here. Quite frankly it was ridiculous. I guess that's part of my growing up. I re-read all of my journal entries and now they are quite possibly the funniest things ever written. So many lies and false identities. Mainly myself. When I wrote in here I didn't know who I was. I was desperately trying to be something I wasn't. But I'll step off my soapbox now. So much has happened to me in the past year alone. It started with my parents getting a divorce. Granted I loathe my father. So it really wasn't that big of a deal, but it has caused me to basically change how I live. I no longer have the money I used to and I know that makes me sound like a spoiled little brat. Going from having money at all times to barely scraping by...not so good. In fact its the most uncomfortable feeling in the world. Beyond the divorce. I've come out of the closet finally. Not really that big of a shocker, but it has made the greatest impact on my life. I finally have an identity. I am comfortable with who I am and I'm not afraid to show it. Yes being gay has its perks. Girls flock to me wanting to be like BFF and I have amazing clothes and hair. But it also has major downsides. Relationships are near impossible. Most guys want to have sex and that's it. No one wants to take the time to get to know one another. It's really quite sad. Actually until recently I was going to give up and just worry about me and no one else. It's kind of strange how when you least expect something it pops up. And honestly I'm feeling a lot better as of late. Anyways. I don't want to go into crazy details of all of my cryptic language. So perhaps I'll have to write in here again sometime. But if I don't I just want this to be a message to my friends, former friends, and anyone else that may read this. I'm a changed person...scratch that. I am a person finally. You can either get to know the real me or not. That's your choice. But I refuse to change who I am just to make people happy. I am me and that's all there is to it.