(no subject)
I don't know what to do anymore. School will be over next week. I'm better but still not even close to being alright. I've changed in so many ways, changed so many of my thought patterns, but I'm right back to feeling like I did before I even started school. I really needed to talk to someone today but my one friend was busy watching a movie with her father. My other friend wasn't even home, then when I messaged her on AIM, she typed at me for maybe ten minutes and never even asked how I was or what was up with me. Even though I always ask her. She just left, saying that she'd been irritable today and needed relaxing. Why is it that when I need to talk to someone no one is there? I always try to be there for my friends when they need me. I must be doing something wrong somewhere. I feel like such a horrible person still. I just need to graduate, take my exams, and get the hell out of this state. I am so very much in the wrong place. Maybe if I was far away from here I could actually do something with myself. I wouldn't feel so damn stifled. I hate it here. I hate my job. I hate how routine everything has become. I hate how my friend is changing. I'm glad that she's happy but she's not the same person anymore. She's becoming all ushy-gushy sweet and sentimental. So I think it's time to part ways again. It's time to move. It's time for change. I'm done here. I can't change anymore here. I can't grow anymore. I am not a happy camper and no one and nothing here can make me happy.