(no subject)
so im going back to school.
seriously this time. i mean, eventually i planned on doing it right? and 4 years is a decent amount of time to be in school, so why wait any longer. im gunna be 21, so if im luckyi 'll be out by 25ish, which is late in life, but not too late to start a real life, pretty standard. why would i want to wait till im like 30 and living on my own with real bills to pay.
atleast now i can live in this shitty house, but if im in school and working basically a fulltime schedule, i'll hardly be here.
im thinking like work 4 days a week at 8 hours, thats 32 hours, minus the 2 hours of lunches, so 30 hours would be suffice, at first i might keep fulltime and see how it works. im sure as school gets tougher, i'll need to cut back, because this time, i honestly want this. its weird.
i was complaining how i hate my job, and need a new one, but i really need to be working towards a career, because eventually im going to hate any job that is just a job.
and the longer i wait to go back, the harder it will be. because of other life issues.
its time to buckle down. i finally realize that working 40 hours a week for shitty money sucks. i mean right now its great money because i have no bills and live at home, but if i were to move out, geez, i already did math and decided that it would be like 2/3 of my monthly income, so i'd never have money and not be able to cut my hours to go to school....so i think nows the time.
i always wanted to be a teacher, for as long as i can remember.
and i think, i love kids. i love being in control. and i love the ideas of summers off. i mean how bad can that be?
as long as i don't end up at some inner city school. but having a goal and a plan makes it so much more real, and acheivable.
i just have to get past this road block that has blocked me up for the last 3 years.
i can get so far, then i screw up, something stands in my way. i just need to figure out what that is. i am capable of succeeding in life, i just have to let myself...and weirdly enough that is the hardest part. i have brains. i like to use my brains, and like right now im doing this mind numbing work that makes me want to kill myself...becuase im not using my brains.
ugh. gotta talk to my mom about it. shes gunna complain, cause i wasted so much money, but i mean, i'll pay for it. i just need daily support. and the want to do it.
seriously this time. i mean, eventually i planned on doing it right? and 4 years is a decent amount of time to be in school, so why wait any longer. im gunna be 21, so if im luckyi 'll be out by 25ish, which is late in life, but not too late to start a real life, pretty standard. why would i want to wait till im like 30 and living on my own with real bills to pay.
atleast now i can live in this shitty house, but if im in school and working basically a fulltime schedule, i'll hardly be here.
im thinking like work 4 days a week at 8 hours, thats 32 hours, minus the 2 hours of lunches, so 30 hours would be suffice, at first i might keep fulltime and see how it works. im sure as school gets tougher, i'll need to cut back, because this time, i honestly want this. its weird.
i was complaining how i hate my job, and need a new one, but i really need to be working towards a career, because eventually im going to hate any job that is just a job.
and the longer i wait to go back, the harder it will be. because of other life issues.
its time to buckle down. i finally realize that working 40 hours a week for shitty money sucks. i mean right now its great money because i have no bills and live at home, but if i were to move out, geez, i already did math and decided that it would be like 2/3 of my monthly income, so i'd never have money and not be able to cut my hours to go to school....so i think nows the time.
i always wanted to be a teacher, for as long as i can remember.
and i think, i love kids. i love being in control. and i love the ideas of summers off. i mean how bad can that be?
as long as i don't end up at some inner city school. but having a goal and a plan makes it so much more real, and acheivable.
i just have to get past this road block that has blocked me up for the last 3 years.
i can get so far, then i screw up, something stands in my way. i just need to figure out what that is. i am capable of succeeding in life, i just have to let myself...and weirdly enough that is the hardest part. i have brains. i like to use my brains, and like right now im doing this mind numbing work that makes me want to kill myself...becuase im not using my brains.
ugh. gotta talk to my mom about it. shes gunna complain, cause i wasted so much money, but i mean, i'll pay for it. i just need daily support. and the want to do it.