everything happens for a reason?
february 2009 has been the worst month of my entire life. never ever have i ever had to deal with anything even close to any of this and honestly i cant even handle it. my best friend is dead and what the fuck i still cant even fathom the idea... i spent every single day of my life with him, he was the person that woke me up every morning and now its just like... i dont even know what to say. i miss him so much its unreal! everyone keeps telling me it gets easier as time goes by but you know what??!! the more days ive gone without seeing him the more it hurts me. its crazy how one decision can change your life forever and let me just let you know had i not gone to pick joe up that night i would have been right there in that car and lord knows what would have happened... im feeling so many different kinds of emotions i dont even know what to do. i picked out all of the funeral songs and the pall bearers too... words cannot even begin to describe how much that hurt. i went to the cemetary the other day for the first time the other day; it only seemed appropriate to smoke one there for my kangalang. that was the hardest thing ive ever had to do in my whole life.. besides the funeral of course that was ten times all that.
on top of it all i got arrested friday night for weed and pills. the funny thing is i dont even fuck with pills like that everyone knows it but ive been havin such a hard time with my anxiety my therapist said i should start taking muscle relaxers... they really did help im not gonna lie and i havent been drinkin so its not like i was gettin fucked up but the cops dont look at things like that and they just booked me for a felony. luckily im gettin a prescription though so theyll drop that and im doin pre trial intervention for the mary jane so thatll be wiped off too but fuck the stories i could tell you from that night in jail!!! it was awful, i cant imagine staying there for any longer but i made the most of the situation and some pretty classic things happened while i was there.... they said for my race i was "oriental/asian" which was just fucking hilarious i dont know what features they were lookin at but i mean it was a good laugh!!
i dont have enough time to write about every single problem im dealing with right now and i know nobody wants to hear about it but ill just make it short and sweeet and say life fucking sucks and i hope it gets better soon... i know it could always be worse but i just dont know how much more i can fucking handle!!!
rip ryan king i love you so much i miss you even more, best friends for life!!!
on top of it all i got arrested friday night for weed and pills. the funny thing is i dont even fuck with pills like that everyone knows it but ive been havin such a hard time with my anxiety my therapist said i should start taking muscle relaxers... they really did help im not gonna lie and i havent been drinkin so its not like i was gettin fucked up but the cops dont look at things like that and they just booked me for a felony. luckily im gettin a prescription though so theyll drop that and im doin pre trial intervention for the mary jane so thatll be wiped off too but fuck the stories i could tell you from that night in jail!!! it was awful, i cant imagine staying there for any longer but i made the most of the situation and some pretty classic things happened while i was there.... they said for my race i was "oriental/asian" which was just fucking hilarious i dont know what features they were lookin at but i mean it was a good laugh!!
i dont have enough time to write about every single problem im dealing with right now and i know nobody wants to hear about it but ill just make it short and sweeet and say life fucking sucks and i hope it gets better soon... i know it could always be worse but i just dont know how much more i can fucking handle!!!
rip ryan king i love you so much i miss you even more, best friends for life!!!