Ersatz Promises by Susanne Barringer and Susanne Schramm (R)
Fandom: THE X-FILES
Pairing: None necessarily, but can read fairly naturally as pre-Mulder/Scully
Length: 95k
Author on LJ: Not to my knowledge.
Author Website: Gossamer pages for each author.
Why this must be read: Collaborative writing can result in the best of two worlds or the worst; in this case, it's the best. "Ersatz Promises" is another really good, well-plotted fic that fits into the mythology of S5, dealing specifically with a lot of the (in)fertility issues from the "Emily" arc but also working with the Syndicate's other hybridization and cloning projects. It really tackles the fact that the Consortium is not going to stop victimizing people for its own agenda, and that individuals within it are not going to stop trying (and usually failing) to buck the system in some way. It also really allows Scully to take control of her own destiny, to be a very active participant in the fight as opposed to simply a victim. The fic does a fabulous job of capturing her voice in the sections that she narrates, and an equally good job with Mulder's in his portions. The resolution is not fluffy or sweet (nor is it remotely akin to kid-fic, thank goodness), but it is at least potentially hopeful. Subject matter may be sensitive for some; the fic header has a more detailed note.
"I'm pregnant."
Mulder's face doesn't change, not even the slightest bit. The shock is so great it seems to have almost no effect on him. Only his eyes show his reaction, clouding over in concern and doubt.
"Scully," his voice catches on my name. He is not as stoic as he appears. "You can't... I mean, I thought you weren't able to..."
"I'm not." I relieve him of his discomfort. I wonder if he thinks I've suddenly become delusional. I wouldn't blame him. This is the craziest thing I've ever said to him. "All those tests showed that this isn't possible, but I'm pregnant just the same."
I watch his face carefully, how his lips move to form a word but then stop. He is weighing what he should say, wondering what question to
ask. I toss the sonogram onto the coffee table and Mulder unlatches his eyes from mine to glance down at it. His gaze meets mine again in
question, so I raise my eyebrows in consent.
Mulder reaches for the picture and his hand trembles. He raises the sonogram and examines it carefully. I watch as he runs his finger like a caress over the barely perceptible gray shadow that is the fetus. I wonder if he's conscious of doing that.
"This is your baby?" He looks at me in a way that breaks my heart - half enthusiastic wonder, half total confusion... My throat aches, holding back an unexpected sob. God, why does he have to be quietly hopeful? It's going to be so much worse when he has to give up that tiny glimmer of happiness.
His attention moves from my face to my stomach, studying it, although I haven't yet started to show. His eyes linger a long time, dwelling over the place that holds this tiny being whose reason for existence, at least for now, is a total mystery.
Mulder drops the sonogram on the table and steps forward to reach out and place his hand on my belly. It is a light, gentle touch, one filled with amazement and reverence. I shiver, wishing that this bittersweet moment could last longer.
"They took your ova," he finally says, his voice sounding loud after the softness of his gaze and touch. "But they didn't get all of them." He sounds sure of this theory, more sure than I ever could have been. I wait for the other half of the equation to sink in. It only takes a few seconds before I see its weight settle across his face. He snatches his hand away from where it has been hovering in front of me.
"Scully, how did...? I mean, who...? I, I didn't realize you were..." Pain is written all over Mulder's face, the betrayal, the fear of secrets being kept.
"I'm not," I answer, knowing exactly what he is wondering. It is a natural question, after all, at least under normal circumstances. "I'm not involved with anyone."
Mulder closes his eyes. In relief? In confusion? Does he realize how much worse the truth is?
"Mulder, I haven't been intimate with anyone in a long time. Years." He opens his eyes and looks at me. A frown buries its way into his brow. "This baby has no father, Mulder. I don't even know how it got there."
There is a long excruciating moment of stillness. Then, Mulder reels back from me, a gasp catching in his throat as the implication hits him. His fists clench and unclench. I watch as the understanding and anger build up inside of him, stretching from the center of him out to his limbs. I have felt that, too. I have felt the indescribable rage and horror.
"Are you saying they did this to you? They did it to you again?" He turns away from me and kicks the coffee table. The sonogram flutters
to the floor, staring up at me, teasing me with the promise of what it isn't. Mulder stands with his back to me, his harsh breathing loud in the silence of my apartment.
"Yes," I whisper, stooping over to pick up the sonogram. My fingers brush over it, but I find I can't bring myself to lift it. I kneel instead, now too exhausted to rise. "I think so, Mulder. I think they did this to me. I don't know how else to explain it."
Mulder lets out a muted groan of agony and sinks to his knees, his back still turned to me. My head bows and the sonogram blurs through a veil of tears. I close my eyes, opening them again when I hear Mulder moving towards me. He reaches for the sonogram, tracing over the fetus again in a gesture that looks almost like farewell. Then he takes my hand and squeezes it and I understand that a promise has just been made.
I look up and he gives me a watery smile. For just a moment, I honestly believe that everything is going to be okay.
You can find the whole fic at the end of the listing here.
Pairing: None necessarily, but can read fairly naturally as pre-Mulder/Scully
Length: 95k
Author on LJ: Not to my knowledge.
Author Website: Gossamer pages for each author.
Why this must be read: Collaborative writing can result in the best of two worlds or the worst; in this case, it's the best. "Ersatz Promises" is another really good, well-plotted fic that fits into the mythology of S5, dealing specifically with a lot of the (in)fertility issues from the "Emily" arc but also working with the Syndicate's other hybridization and cloning projects. It really tackles the fact that the Consortium is not going to stop victimizing people for its own agenda, and that individuals within it are not going to stop trying (and usually failing) to buck the system in some way. It also really allows Scully to take control of her own destiny, to be a very active participant in the fight as opposed to simply a victim. The fic does a fabulous job of capturing her voice in the sections that she narrates, and an equally good job with Mulder's in his portions. The resolution is not fluffy or sweet (nor is it remotely akin to kid-fic, thank goodness), but it is at least potentially hopeful. Subject matter may be sensitive for some; the fic header has a more detailed note.
"I'm pregnant."
Mulder's face doesn't change, not even the slightest bit. The shock is so great it seems to have almost no effect on him. Only his eyes show his reaction, clouding over in concern and doubt.
"Scully," his voice catches on my name. He is not as stoic as he appears. "You can't... I mean, I thought you weren't able to..."
"I'm not." I relieve him of his discomfort. I wonder if he thinks I've suddenly become delusional. I wouldn't blame him. This is the craziest thing I've ever said to him. "All those tests showed that this isn't possible, but I'm pregnant just the same."
I watch his face carefully, how his lips move to form a word but then stop. He is weighing what he should say, wondering what question to
ask. I toss the sonogram onto the coffee table and Mulder unlatches his eyes from mine to glance down at it. His gaze meets mine again in
question, so I raise my eyebrows in consent.
Mulder reaches for the picture and his hand trembles. He raises the sonogram and examines it carefully. I watch as he runs his finger like a caress over the barely perceptible gray shadow that is the fetus. I wonder if he's conscious of doing that.
"This is your baby?" He looks at me in a way that breaks my heart - half enthusiastic wonder, half total confusion... My throat aches, holding back an unexpected sob. God, why does he have to be quietly hopeful? It's going to be so much worse when he has to give up that tiny glimmer of happiness.
His attention moves from my face to my stomach, studying it, although I haven't yet started to show. His eyes linger a long time, dwelling over the place that holds this tiny being whose reason for existence, at least for now, is a total mystery.
Mulder drops the sonogram on the table and steps forward to reach out and place his hand on my belly. It is a light, gentle touch, one filled with amazement and reverence. I shiver, wishing that this bittersweet moment could last longer.
"They took your ova," he finally says, his voice sounding loud after the softness of his gaze and touch. "But they didn't get all of them." He sounds sure of this theory, more sure than I ever could have been. I wait for the other half of the equation to sink in. It only takes a few seconds before I see its weight settle across his face. He snatches his hand away from where it has been hovering in front of me.
"Scully, how did...? I mean, who...? I, I didn't realize you were..." Pain is written all over Mulder's face, the betrayal, the fear of secrets being kept.
"I'm not," I answer, knowing exactly what he is wondering. It is a natural question, after all, at least under normal circumstances. "I'm not involved with anyone."
Mulder closes his eyes. In relief? In confusion? Does he realize how much worse the truth is?
"Mulder, I haven't been intimate with anyone in a long time. Years." He opens his eyes and looks at me. A frown buries its way into his brow. "This baby has no father, Mulder. I don't even know how it got there."
There is a long excruciating moment of stillness. Then, Mulder reels back from me, a gasp catching in his throat as the implication hits him. His fists clench and unclench. I watch as the understanding and anger build up inside of him, stretching from the center of him out to his limbs. I have felt that, too. I have felt the indescribable rage and horror.
"Are you saying they did this to you? They did it to you again?" He turns away from me and kicks the coffee table. The sonogram flutters
to the floor, staring up at me, teasing me with the promise of what it isn't. Mulder stands with his back to me, his harsh breathing loud in the silence of my apartment.
"Yes," I whisper, stooping over to pick up the sonogram. My fingers brush over it, but I find I can't bring myself to lift it. I kneel instead, now too exhausted to rise. "I think so, Mulder. I think they did this to me. I don't know how else to explain it."
Mulder lets out a muted groan of agony and sinks to his knees, his back still turned to me. My head bows and the sonogram blurs through a veil of tears. I close my eyes, opening them again when I hear Mulder moving towards me. He reaches for the sonogram, tracing over the fetus again in a gesture that looks almost like farewell. Then he takes my hand and squeezes it and I understand that a promise has just been made.
I look up and he gives me a watery smile. For just a moment, I honestly believe that everything is going to be okay.
You can find the whole fic at the end of the listing here.